For love and remembrance/bereavement

Originally Posted by Druantia

Nine months ago I lost my soulmate of 35 years. I seemed to be handling it quite well. Then just a couple months ago I began to truly grieve. I think the first months I was grieving for the loss of the man I had loved through the last 5 years of cancer treatments and the slow death that ''bleeping" cancer is. Now I am grieving for the happy, healthy, busy and loving selves that we were together for the 30 years before that. This grief hurts much more.

I have always been a square peg in the round hole of this modern life. I am getting very tired of the accepted advice of grief counselors and well meaning family and friends. I don't want to "Get over it," "Keep very busy," " Put away all the old photos and keepsakes," etc. And of course, I do not believe in the religion that they seem to think would cure all.

The truth is, I want to wallow in my grief. I want every single memory and maybe even bring forth ones that seemed forgotten for years. I want to surround myself with things that promote such wallowing. Good or bad, it is what I want and seem to need right now.

While Pagan/metaphysical is my natural tendancy, I am pretty new to gemstones and crystals. I know that different ones seem to work differently for different people and it takes some individual insight and a feeling of being drawn to something in particular. But I have no (relatively nearby) access to where I can handle individual pieces to try to get a sense of what might work for me. I basically have to buy, without touching, a couple gems/crystals at a time, and begin my collection. Naturally I want to start with the ones that may be good first choices for my needs, by tradition/lore anyway. Online sources of info seem varying, even contradictory at times. So some personal experience would be great!

I am looking for daytime (carry in a pocket/pouch, jewelry, etc.) something that is for 'love', but love for my lost soulmate and that keeps nurturing that love, not forgetting it, and definately not to draw new love to me. For sleep time (and the most important to me right now) is something to enhance my dreams and most of all remember them. We all have the wacko/nightmarish dreams now and then, and since I am not a nervous or fearful person, I will accept enhancing and remembering these as long as also get to have the ones of past , present and future with my lost love.

Suggestions of a few things to begin with, would be so appreciated. Thank you all.

You just lost a partner of over 30 years to cancer 9 months ago and people are telling you to get over it? Are they freakin serious??? From what I've read, grief can take 1-2 years to finally subside. You have EVERY RIGHT TO WALLOW RIGHT NOW!!! You cannot put a time frame on someone's grief!!

Are you a journaler? What kind of hobbies do you have??? If you quilted, for instance, you could make a memory quilt from his clothing.