Sharing your beliefs and being shut down

Originally Posted by cc_nami

The lady who I get reiki from told me twice that I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Now I think I know what she meant by that. I want to help people. I want to help everyone and I want everyone to be happy, but their not and knowing I offended someone when I really meant to help them or knowing the person I am triggered someone because the people who abused her used tarot cards and such to hurt her/him bothers me. I'm crying right now and I never cry. I don't even know why I'm so emotional.

All in all, it could be construed as presumptuousness. Not everyone may share your view of happiness. If someone seems offended by your efforts it's simply best to back off, leave them to their own devices.

It's particularly difficult when "trying to help" someone in an unstable mental state. It can take very little - very little well-meaning too - to trigger an acutely defensive reaction; to rouse anger; to make someone strike. In a forum it's difficult to get into what someone's depression is about. You have only the typewritten word. You can't see the moment by moment reactions. Most times we can't even know if it's pathological. If it is, one walks sensitive ground. Inexperienced help can worsen someone's problems by reopening old wounds.

You could be crying now over rejection when you so needed to be involved in someone's repair. The problem is that if you want to be the therapist you will encounter hostilities and you have to learn to accept them without freaking out and withdrawing.

It may be best to steer clear unless you feel someone is plain upset rather than depressed. There's nothing wrong with helping someone feel better, to help them back on their feet but depression really needs professional help. Abuse cases need professional help unless the person seems articulate enough for you to make a judgement on whether to respond or not.


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[Moonglow]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

Wise words and so true.

This is why I said previously, on the internet, or anywhere else, but on the internet especially it's always a good idea to ask for clarification when in any kind of doubt as to intent or meaning and ask as many times as you need to.

If I cannot understand something, I ask the poster to please be patient with me and explain themselves another way, so that I may try and understand what they are thinking.

Concepts like non-verbal communication, body language, sarcasm, nuance and emotion are totally lost in cyberspace.

Then there are those 'keyboard warriors' who wouldn't dream of saying to a person in real life, what they say to others online.

I've been through hell on spiritual forums, paranormal forums, religious forums that aren't as strict as SF is in imposing rules in regard to conduct and as a result, such forums were overrun with sceptics and atheists.....I ended up leaving them (or getting banned), but had I known back then what I know now, almost a year later, I would have stayed and had some fun....until it bored me and I went back to my meditation, prayers and being in full God-awareness when my ego had quite enough mucking around.

Thanks Necromancer,

Agree, it is better to ask for clarification if unsure, then to assume.

Yes, a lot can get lost in communication this way. Humor and kidding around can get tricky or does not translate well without the body language, voice tone, or facial expressions.

Yeah, some people on some forums don't care that there are real people on the other end. I feel, can either engage in their games or goating or just ignore then.

This is the only forum I now engage in. Been to others and just didn't click with me.

btw: been to gaming forums as well and found them annoying, so stopped.

[Moonglow]

Originally Posted by Sundancer

Thank you Moonglow for expressing how you feel and you too Necro. You are so right about how quick people are to jump on the bandwagon of telling someone that they are wrong with what they have posted. I am like Necro in understanding how things can get misunderstood because of lack of visual and audio aid. We have posters from around the world so sometimes it's merely a matter of miscommunication because of their English is not being good. We also have so many different religions to deal with as well. Some of them, we don't have a clue about why they say or do what they do which is why we have so many conflicts in the first place, lack of understanding and fear of the unknown.

Personally I try to learn as much about different cultures and religions as I can. To me, there is truth in every religion if you are lucky enough to find it.

To truly be enlightened you need to learn and never stop learning on all matters of humanity. The planet you live on, the animals and insects that help you run it. All things have a purpose and an opinion. I am sure that ant or animal has an opinion not to be stepped on or to be killed while going about their daily business. Just like us.

Hi Sundancer,

Seems you have a good outlook on this.

Can be tricky and I feel respecting one another helps to have things flow a bit smoother.

Sometimes another disagreements gives me a whole new way of looking at it.

Guess depends how open one is.

[keokutah]

Originally Posted by Sundancer

Keo, sharing your beliefs should never be thought of as being a mistake because it is what you believe in. As I stated, there is truth in ever religion. I also mentioned how I enjoy learning about other faiths as long the person telling does not try to convert me just because I am interested. In fact sharing can help with your own religion. Because sometimes it will show you something you don't quite understand in your own religion, but hearing it presented their way you get it, now that you have seen it in a different perspective.

And yes being a hermit is good for the soul from time to time, but it also diminishes your light for others you encounter along the way to get to meet you.

Yes it should be viewed as a mistake, because if you know the other person doesn't want to hear it, you are preaching and basically hindering their own growth and not respecting their own beliefs. The key here is to of course, realize when the other person isn't open to it. Because if they aren't open to it, you are only harming them by pushing your beliefs onto them. And harming yourself by continuously putting yourself in a position that allows people to attack you for your beliefs. People don't have to agree with us. Maybe it's best to just accept that and move on.

I've actually had my own spirit guides tell me that I should not tell people spiritual things because it does hinder their growth. Some people are just not ready to hear it yet and by forcing it on them, you can be harming them without meaning to.

And being a hermit is good for my soul all of the time.

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

I've been through hell on spiritual forums, paranormal forums, religious forums that aren't as strict as SF is in imposing rules in regard to conduct and as a result, such forums were overrun with sceptics and atheists.....I ended up leaving them (or getting banned), but had I known back then what I know now, almost a year later, I would have stayed and had some fun....until it bored me and I went back to my meditation, prayers and being in full God-awareness when my ego had quite enough mucking around.

LOL. That's why it's SO inconsiderate of people who design forum software :sarky: not to include a section in the User CP listing people whose ignore lists one is on. (I'm sure I'm on a few here.) One can afford a little more candour when replying to their posts!!

I only visit a couple of forums nowadays but encountered rough stuff in places one would least expect it, like a classical music forum on which you'd think there'd be a great sorority or brotherhood being aficionados are spread pretty thin. Not at all. Anyone not quite sure of themselves would fall victim to abuse, derision, and condescension by just a few ruining for the many helpful people. You have it sized up all right!

Yup, a spoonful of humour helps the medicine go down!

.....

[Light Seeker]

It is a terrible thing indeed that folks actively involved in dealing with their own issues will have little or even no time for your issues.... in my experience.

^^^ Regrettably it's often because they have to sort out their own issues, that they have little time to sort out others'.

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[girlsearching]

I have recently gotten into a argument on my Facebook page with one of my Christian friends, I told her that the Bible isn't the sole foundation to seek knowledge from. I said that basically all Religions come from the same source, and the religious text books The Bible, The Quran, ect have been rewritten many times and taken out of context. My Christian friend told me my beliefs of thinking that All Religions being the same is "malarkey and absurd" . I can't make people see my way and I can't force anyone either into believing what I say. She and I have a lot of things in common we both inspire to be authors and enjoy making stories and illustrating pictures .

[shakeithbaker]

Originally Posted by girlsearching

I have recently gotten into a argument on my Facebook page with one of my Christian friends, I told her that the Bible isn't the sole foundation to seek knowledge from. I said that basically all Religions come from the same source, and the religious text books The Bible, The Quran, ect have been rewritten many times and taken out of context. My Christian friend told me my beliefs of thinking that All Religions being the same is "malarkey and absurd" . I can't make people see my way and I can't force anyone either into believing what I say. She and I have a lot of things in common we both inspire to be authors and enjoy making stories and illustrating pictures .

I completely agree