Still not ok

[Sarahpro]

Hi,
I’ve posted quite a few times in the last several weeks
Some fear came up for me a few months ago and I resisted it, hard. Repeated fear has led to feelings of profound emptiness, and mental fragmentation- very very rapid thoughts and ego defenses high. It’s hard to go thru life right now. I also opened up my crown chakra thru the process a few months ago and believe this is contributing to loss of sense of self (deprrsonalization) and confusion.
For weeks I was convinced love was the cure and tried to actively re-open my heart. At this moment it’s really really hard for me to accept the present moment/ to not try to “get out” of this “trap” feeling so disconnected from the world and so in my head. I would like to open my heart again.
I went thru a similar experience a few years ago triggered by mushrooms - less severe depersonalization - and it ended when I had a brief intimate encounter with a guy and my heart spontaneously burst open.
It’s hard right now to fool my mind that I am not constantly “secretly” waiting for this to happen again. I’m concerned and wary of the mental damage that is occurring. I can function decently but my ego structure is wonky.
I have NOT tried completely refocusing from my worried mind. I usually spend time worrying and trying to fix the situation.
What I would like is to feel connected to myself and my own heart again.
Saw a psychiatrist and he simply diagnosed me with severe anxiety and soma to form disorder and gave me some strong sedatives and believes it will clear up. But I am concerned about the lack of equanimity in mind and the emptiness