A new kind of struggle

[ForeverRestless]

What amazes me is the ebb and flow of this journey. I joined this forum in like late November, early December because I was being absolutely pummeled by my feelings for my TF, intense attachment, missing him, etc. It brought a ton of spiritual awakening and put me in touch with a lot of feelings I've been stuffing down. And now, two months later, I'm feeling dull, empty, detached.

I've been feeling this way for close to two weeks now, and at a time when it seems I should be missing him most intensely. These are the first days we spent together one year ago. Today is the day one year ago when we were kissing for the first time. But I feel almost nothing. Not just for him, but my emotions in general seem hard to access. Is this just the cycle? Is it time to move on? Was he a false Twin Flame and this is the time when I realize I don't really want him anymore? Are my spirit guides simply moving me into a new phase of soul growth and this the means to help me focus on myself? Have I been released from the TF relationship to find a harmonious soul mate relationship? Is his soul crying out for me as he's being confronted with his own memories for a year ago, and his soul is pushing mine away in the process? Is it really possible for me to let this go and just move on. The memories of our time together are so intense, but it's like I cannot even access the feelings associated with them. It makes me wonder if this is how he's felt the whole time. Detached. Unable to access his feelings. Maybe he never really did miss me. It's now been 10.5 months since we've interacted. And you know the oddest thing? Just a couple weeks back, I was being bombarded with sign after sign after sign, to the point where it was ridiculous. And now nothing. I feel separated even from the Source and divine love, I feel only the present tense, my current reality, I'm not attached to anything, yet I am not depressed. I just am. I'm not longing for him to come back right now. All I know is it's confusing. Is this a typical ebb and flow? Have you guys been through this too? Do you know if there is any credence to his soul crying out to me right now, pushing mine away? I'm just so hesitant to actually move on, knowing what we had, so a part of me is clinging, but I guess if moving on is what my soul is meant to do, it will happen regardless. It's just super weird. I've felt so much for him in the past, it changed my whole life. And now, where am I going? I guess I just have to trust my angels and the process.

Argh.

[The_Better_Half]

I have felt the same way. Sometimes I miss her terribly...other times I don't feel barely anything, but there is still a faint reminder that sticks with me. It comes and goes. I have noticed the earth's energy as whole, has been this way as well...for several years. There are intense spikes of activity, then nothing for several months. Feast or famine, if you will.

[wolfgaze]

Originally Posted by ForeverRestless

What amazes me is the ebb and flow of this journey. I joined this forum in like late November, early December because I was being absolutely pummeled by my feelings for my TF, intense attachment, missing him, etc. It brought a ton of spiritual awakening and put me in touch with a lot of feelings I've been stuffing down. And now, two months later, I'm feeling dull, empty, detached.

I've been feeling this way for close to two weeks now, and at a time when it seems I should be missing him most intensely. These are the first days we spent together one year ago. Today is the day one year ago when we were kissing for the first time. But I feel almost nothing. Not just for him, but my emotions in general seem hard to access. Is this just the cycle? Is it time to move on? Was he a false Twin Flame and this is the time when I realize I don't really want him anymore? Are my spirit guides simply moving me into a new phase of soul growth and this the means to help me focus on myself? Have I been released from the TF relationship to find a harmonious soul mate relationship? Is his soul crying out for me as he's being confronted with his own memories for a year ago, and his soul is pushing mine away in the process? Is it really possible for me to let this go and just move on. The memories of our time together are so intense, but it's like I cannot even access the feelings associated with them. It makes me wonder if this is how he's felt the whole time. Detached. Unable to access his feelings. Maybe he never really did miss me. It's now been 10.5 months since we've interacted. And you know the oddest thing? Just a couple weeks back, I was being bombarded with sign after sign after sign, to the point where it was ridiculous. And now nothing. I feel separated even from the Source and divine love, I feel only the present tense, my current reality, I'm not attached to anything, yet I am not depressed. I just am. I'm not longing for him to come back right now. All I know is it's confusing. Is this a typical ebb and flow? Have you guys been through this too? Do you know if there is any credence to his soul crying out to me right now, pushing mine away? I'm just so hesitant to actually move on, knowing what we had, so a part of me is clinging, but I guess if moving on is what my soul is meant to do, it will happen regardless. It's just super weird. I've felt so much for him in the past, it changed my whole life. And now, where am I going? I guess I just have to trust my angels and the process.

Feeling "super weird" is quite alright and natural to experience while you are going through internal shifts & changes... The 'detached' and 'empty' feeling is not a negative condition by any means, although I can understand why it may generate questions/concerns when one is so used to the presence of various emotional states. It's more like you are getting a taste of experiencing your state of consciousness as being that of an observer, or what they call 'witness consciousness'. It's not that you are going to permanently become emotionless or anything like that, it's that you are increasingly discovering the you in there that exists as pure conscious awareness and which exists independent of any emotions being present. Does that make sense? Rather than telling yourself that you feel 'empty' (which tends to carry with it a bit of a negative connotation), try telling yourself that you are feeling very neutral. This is a functional and positive development. You don't need to worry that what you are experiencing in exactly this moment will be your new 'base state' or anything like that... There is more to come....

Originally Posted by Forever Restless

Argh.

That's what pirates say when they get frustrated...