Reporting a murder, guilt

[HopeForever]

Had quite the vivid dream last night. I was speaking on the phone to my birth mom (in real life I've put some distance between us - I am adopted) and she admitted she murdered someone. I felt horrific feelings in that moment and a sense of dread, and then other things happened in the dream but I kept having an internal struggle between keeping the secret to myself or reporting the murder to police. It was extremely stressful and I felt like I had to decide quickly. In the end, I chose to report everything to police. Saw myself make my statement to police. Of course there were feelings of guilt.

There was also a separate part of the dream where I went to a hairdresser and they would dye everyone's hair colorful colors such as blue and pink etc and they made it out to be popular, everyone does it sort of thing, I decided not to do it.

My Interpretation:

I'm experiencing feelings of guilt because I've put some distance between myself and my birth mom. The dream seems to be telling me I have legitimate reasons for setting boundaries (took the form of a murder in the dream) and the fact that I decided to report it to police means I've stuck with the decision of setting boundaries, even though I know it's going to hurt her. The dream seems to be telling me there are no real good decisions to make, either I live with the secret and I'm the one whose hurting, or I report the murder and hurt her...either I don't set boundaries with her and I'm hurting, or I do set boundaries and it hurts her.

I sent a message to her this morning as it's been awhile and I sensed there was a bit of manipulation on her part, but I just observed and continued to set boundaries. I told her that she would always be part of my life but not in the way she wishes me to be.

As for the hairdresser, I think it's either a reminder to not follow what everyone is doing or letting me know I've succeeded in not just doing what everyone is doing and think for myself...

[Perfection]

yes it means she did something horrific to someone's life, (that millions of other women do also), & she wants forgiveness/acceptance from you, & that would involve you putting on a colourful outlook which you do not wish to go along with.

But she was possibly completely unable to raise a child when you were born & adopting you out seemed like the kindest thing to do.

[Dargor]

I like how you were able to interpretate your own dreams while still wanting to share it. I also have familiar dreams as well based on my guilt towards my own mother (who is deceased by now) because my jerk subconscious knows it's a sensitive subject to me. And dreams often seem to involve our sensitive areas and the things that worry/trouble us in our waking life. Rarely are they ever positive with a happy end.

[HopeForever]

Originally Posted by SlayerOfLight

I like how you were able to interpretate your own dreams while still wanting to share it. I also have familiar dreams as well based on my guilt towards my own mother (who is deceased by now) because my jerk subconscious knows it's a sensitive subject to me. And dreams often seem to involve our sensitive areas and the things that worry/trouble us in our waking life. Rarely are they ever positive with a happy end.

Thanks for the feedback. This is a rare time where I am able to interpret it so am proud of myself lol and it is quite therapeutic. Thanks for sharing your own experience...I am sorry to hear that you feel guilt towards your own mother. This dream seems to have lifted some weight off my shoulders...

[Dargor]

Originally Posted by HopeForever

Thanks for the feedback. This is a rare time where I am able to interpret it so am proud of myself lol and it is quite therapeutic. Thanks for sharing your own experience...I am sorry to hear that you feel guilt towards your own mother. This dream seems to have lifted some weight off my shoulders...

It is good to hear that this dream lifted some weight of your shoulders. Dreams really tend to be a bit tricky at times, I believe mostly they reflect our needs, troubles, desides (I get that a lot) and emotions. As messed up the dreams I have may appear to be, I do not worry about them in the slightest because I know it's just my subconscious.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Originally Posted by SlayerOfLight

It is good to hear that this dream lifted some weight of your shoulders. Dreams really tend to be a bit tricky at times, I believe mostly they reflect our needs, troubles, desides (I get that a lot) and emotions. As messed up the dreams I have may appear to be, I do not worry about them in the slightest because I know it's just my subconscious.

"just my subconscious" is short-sighted, in my opinion.
the greater portion of an iceberg lies below the surface of the water...
(perhaps) the greater portion of awareness resides in the subconscious,
below the threshold of conscious recognition... the greater portion of
being may be hidden from casual observation.
i don't believe that your subconscious is toying with you.
if your intention is to grow into fullness, and achieve health and
wholeness, i believe that your subconscious may well be attempting
to assist you in that effort by bringing 'issues' to your conscious
awareness that require your attention.
just an opinion.

[Dargor]

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

"just my subconscious" is short-sighted, in my opinion.
the greater portion of an iceberg lies below the surface of the water...
(perhaps) the greater portion of awareness resides in the subconscious,
below the threshold of conscious recognition... the greater portion of
being may be hidden from casual observation.
i don't believe that your subconscious is toying with you.
if your intention is to grow into fullness, and achieve health and
wholeness, i believe that your subconscious may well be attempting
to assist you in that effort by bringing 'issues' to your conscious
awareness that require your attention.
just an opinion.

No worries you are free to have your own opinion. It's just that I've had so many typical nonsense dreams where I can't take anything meaningful out of it. Those dreams are really chaotic and random, if my subsonscious is really trying to tell me something then I feel it would've been less subtle. Mind you, I pay attention very well to my dreams and often remember them. Last year I had at least one dream which I felt was different and special, and that was very clear to me. That dream was so amazing and special that I still think about it every day like it was yesterday and even consider it the most beautiful experience of my life (up to so far). This is how I personally can tell my own ''meaningful'' dreams apart from ordinary subsonciously generated dreams.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

HopeForever, i'm thinking that your dream was telling
you something quite different than what you've interpreted.
let's start with the hair dying segment.
the idea that people might color their hair, for fashion's sake,
is similar to adopting a line of thought that seems popular at
the moment. you were not interested in that practice.
in the more consequential portion of your dream, you were
engaged in addressing the situation according to what your head
directed (which might have shifted according to the prevailing
fashion, as far as i can tell). it seems that all of the stress involved
with your decision came from an overly taxed mind, which was
attempting to weigh the ramifications of all possibilities for your choices.
when you'd decided to notify the police, what made you believe that
these unseen people were actually in a position of authority (within
the framework of your dream world)? ...why wouldn't you notify God
of the situation instead? why not notify a jar of jellybeans?

the big question for me is what did your heart tell you? and why weren't
you listening to that advice, rather than the confusion from your head?

i do not believe that you're in need of setting boundaries.
there are a plenitude of boundaries already in place.
boundaries are limitations to your own capabilities.
[you cannot set boundaries on other free-will beings!]

i believe that your dream was showing you that you've
become reliant on the (fickle) head, which might change
it's mind according to the fashion of the day -- rather than
listen to the immediacy of your (constant) heart.

the more important issue (as opposed to the 'mechanics'
of what i've outlined) is what is the nature of your relationship
with your birth mother. what does your heart say?