What is Love?

[Lucyan28]

Baby don't hurt me, no more ! Such a great song.

We know deep inside what is Love, it does not need words to describe it, we only have to feel it.

What I'm really wondering here is, how we know that the person next to us is <the one>.

I guess that our only scientific approach here to know that the person is <the one> is if he or she drives us crazy, you know like a crazy goat, or feeling butterflies in our stomach, an incredible rush of adrenaline when being near of this person, or mini-heart attacks every time you see his or her picture. These may be the body and mental signs that the one might be the actual one.

But what happens if you don't feel such things?

Maybe we could feel comfort when being next to this person, maybe they care about us and makes us feel secure and protected, is this enough to tell that this person is <the one>?

If such is the case, is comfort related with Love? I don't know, what do you guys think about it?

I really can't tell if I know how to recognize <the one>, my 3 previous relationships have been with persons who provide me security, stability and most of the times I've felt comfortable with them, but they have not been <the one>, I know this for sure because this persons are not part of my life anymore.

On the other hand, when I have felt such an incredible deal of Love for somebody, unfortunately it was unrequited, talking about irony, so I don't know anything about <the one>, I guess I have not been that lucky lol

[Somnia]

Originally Posted by Lucyan28

Baby don't hurt me, no more ! Such a great song.

Ahaha! I was going to type that but you beat me to it.

Well, I think true love means first and foremost loving yourself. When you love yourself you are able to love another person unconditionally, with no attachments, conditions, expectations, jealousy, etc. If the other person you love is in this same state of being and you feel a soul bond with them I would think the relationship would be an intensely amazing one.

The "love at first sight" feelings of infatuation may possibly be fleeting emotions and I think the only way to know for sure if it's the real thing is giving the relationship time to unfold as it's meant to be with no pressure or expectations. Just let the connection be as it is and roll with it.

*EDIT*

I'm reading some stuff on soulmate/soul connections here: Soul Mates vs. Soul Connections

It's very intriguing information and the author touches on finding "The One". Here is what she has to say that may help you:

So how am I supposed to find “the one?”

"There is more than one “one.” It’s probably religion that has indoctrinated us to believe we’re supposed to find one person and settle down for the rest of our lives. So of course you want to find the right “one.” Totally understandable. But let me reassure you that there are scads of people on this planet who would make a good partner for you. It all depends on what you want, what they want, and if you’re at Starbucks when they are. Don’t get caught up with the idea that if you can’t find the “one” that you are doomed to be alone the rest of your life. Just find one of the “ones” and you’ll be fine."

[Lucyan28]

Originally Posted by Somnia

Ahaha! I was going to type that but you beat me to it.

Well, I think true love means first and foremost loving yourself. When you love yourself you are able to love another person unconditionally, with no attachments, conditions, expectations, jealousy, etc. If the other person you love is in this same state of being and you feel a soul bond with them I would think the relationship would be an intensely amazing one.

The "love at first sight" feelings of infatuation may possibly be fleeting emotions and I think the only way to know for sure if it's the real thing is giving the relationship time to unfold as it's meant to be with no pressure or expectations. Just let the connection be as it is and roll with it.

*EDIT*

I'm reading some stuff on soulmate/soul connections here: Soul Mates vs. Soul Connections

It's very intriguing information and the author touches on finding "The One". Here is what she has to say that may help you:

So how am I supposed to find “the one?”

"There is more than one “one.” It’s probably religion that has indoctrinated us to believe we’re supposed to find one person and settle down for the rest of our lives. So of course you want to find the right “one.” Totally understandable. But let me reassure you that there are scads of people on this planet who would make a good partner for you. It all depends on what you want, what they want, and if you’re at Starbucks when they are. Don’t get caught up with the idea that if you can’t find the “one” that you are doomed to be alone the rest of your life. Just find one of the “ones” and you’ll be fine."

Hi Somnia good day, thanks for your reply, it really helped me to think in a positive way.

I like the idea of the many "ones", so probably there are some persons that are destined to share a period of time with many "ones" in the same incarnation, I love the idea, it's refreshing.

Blessings !

[Somnia]

Hello Lucyan :)

I'm glad to hear you are feeling better about your situation...

[Lucyan28]

Originally Posted by Somnia

Hello Lucyan :)

I'm glad to hear you are feeling better about your situation...

Yes Somnia I feel better, last Friday, when I wrote this post, I was like kinda blue, you know, one of those moments when you self reflect about your life and you just don't know what has been happening with some situations,

But now I have a clue =)

Thanks again !

[jimrich]

Originally Posted by Lucyan28

We know deep inside what is Love, it does not need words to describe it, we only have to feel it. What I'm really wondering here is, how we know that the person next to us is <the one>.

You don't know they are the one but you might know that you are both willing to work at the relationship to make it as good as possible. There is no such thing as <the one> but there is such a thing as Good Relationship Skills (google it), which can make any relationship work very well.

I guess that our only scientific approach here to know that the person is <the one> is if he or she drives us crazy, you know like a crazy goat, or feeling butterflies in our stomach, an incredible rush of adrenaline when being near of this person, or mini-heart attacks every time you see his or her picture. These may be the body and mental signs that the one might be the actual one. But what happens if you don't feel such things?

You most like did feel those things at the beginning and then, due to a lack of good relationship skills, allowed those thrilling feelings to slowly DIE.

Maybe we could feel comfort when being next to this person, maybe they care about us and makes us feel secure and protected, is this enough to tell that this person is <the one>?

Yes, but only if and when both of you know how to keep all of those good behaviors, attitudes and skills alive and well.

If such is the case, is comfort related with Love? I don't know, what do you guys think about it?

It's all about good relationship skills and techniques. Love is only a part of it, whereas, behaving in a consistently loving way is the biggest part and that's where many fail as soon as the honeymoon is over.

I really can't tell if I know how to recognize <the one>, my 3 previous relationships have been with persons who provide me security, stability and most of the times I've felt comfortable with them, but they have not been <the one>, I know this for sure because this persons are not part of my life anymore.

Yes, because none of you knew how to keep the relationship alive and well.

On the other hand, when I have felt such an incredible deal of Love for somebody, unfortunately it was unrequited, talking about irony, so I don't know anything about <the one>, I guess I have not been that lucky lol

It has nothing to do with luck or <the one>. It's all about KNOWLEDGE and SKILLS so, if you want the next relationship to go better than those other failures, google Relationship skills and get started LEARNING HOW to make one last and get better and better.

[Marie]

Jimrich you're a very wise person. Even soulmates or twinflames that are not developed enough to love unconditionally will fail.

That soulmate and twinflame link lead to fb.. Mandi Moore.. But no thing to read???

[Lucyan28]

Originally Posted by jimrich

You don't know they are the one but you might know that you are both willing to work at the relationship to make it as good as possible. There is no such thing as <the one> but there is such a thing as Good Relationship Skills (google it), which can make any relationship work very well.


You most like did feel those things at the beginning and then, due to a lack of good relationship skills, allowed those thrilling feelings to slowly DIE.


Yes, but only if and when both of you know how to keep all of those good behaviors, attitudes and skills alive and well.


It's all about good relationship skills and techniques. Love is only a part of it, whereas, behaving in a consistently loving way is the biggest part and that's where many fail as soon as the honeymoon is over.


Yes, because none of you knew how to keep the relationship alive and well.


It has nothing to do with luck or <the one>. It's all about KNOWLEDGE and SKILLS so, if you want the next relationship to go better than those other failures, google Relationship skills and get started LEARNING HOW to make one last and get better and better.

Hi jimrich, thanks for your inputs, I appreciate them. I'll try to learn those skills, I must be doing something wrong of course, now it is clear to me

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by jimrich

You don't know they are the one but you might know that you are both willing to work at the relationship to make it as good as possible. There is no such thing as <the one> but there is such a thing as Good Relationship Skills (google it), which can make any relationship work very well.


You most like did feel those things at the beginning and then, due to a lack of good relationship skills, allowed those thrilling feelings to slowly DIE.


Yes, but only if and when both of you know how to keep all of those good behaviors, attitudes and skills alive and well.


It's all about good relationship skills and techniques. Love is only a part of it, whereas, behaving in a consistently loving way is the biggest part and that's where many fail as soon as the honeymoon is over.


Yes, because none of you knew how to keep the relationship alive and well.


It has nothing to do with luck or <the one>. It's all about KNOWLEDGE and SKILLS so, if you want the next relationship to go better than those other failures, google Relationship skills and get started LEARNING HOW to make one last and get better and better.

Wisely said...and I would also add...it has to do with emotional generosity and a sustained level of effort.

Lacking these things...i.e., being emotionally stingy and/or too lazy or indifferent to engage on a personal level...knowledge and skills will get you nowhere, even if you know all about how to be kind and loving if and when it serves you.

Peace & blessings,
7L