lost and confused

i'm wondering if there is a spiritual reason why i am now repulsed by my boyfriend....
when we first met he was perfect, respectful, kind, gentle, funny etc and i thought i had finally found the one, i never let him sleep in the same bed as me when my daughter was home, i got my family's opinion on him as i have a bad habit of picking the wrong man, and they loved him, everything just seemed to click with the two of us, i was so happy...
then overnight my feelings towards him vanished, just gone.
he did nothing to warrant that, he hasn't changed, but i think i may have.
i recently started a kahuna massage course which has a lot of energy work involved in it, so i have been practicing with the energy work and also working on my mental health state, i'm now much more stable and positive.
he on the other hand is going through some mental health issues and i have got him to go see a homeopath and he is starting that process, i'm trying to be supportive as i have been in his shoes, but something is just not the same...
i can't stand him touching me, i don't want to have sex with him, ever, and i don't miss him when he is not here, it's almost a relief to not see him...
what is wrong with me, he is seriously a great bloke and i don't know why my feelings changed so dramatically and so very quickly...
any advice would be greatly appreciated

There is a great OLD book out there called men are from mars, women are from Venus that explains how different men and women really are. Another that really hit home is called Soul Stories by Gary Zukav. He talks about how couples grow apart, how the old you and the old him were perfect but now that you are the new you, the old him and you do not mesh. I sure didn't do it justice, but it's a great book about couples and spirituality.

I felt that way too in my last marriage, after 12 years, my husband was a stranger to me. It's not that unusual, don't beat yourself up. We grow, we change, not everyone grows at the same pace we do.

that makes a lot of sense laura, but how do you stop that from happening in the future, we constantly grow...
and also i think i'm scared because i've brought my daughter into this and my family and i don't think i can get out of it, that it's not fair to him or my daughter.... i'm very confused right now...

Ok, so it's not fair to them? What about to you? Should you go through life unhappy for other people's sake?

First, your daughter, no matter how old, ALREADY feels the change. Mine was 4 and she did. She KNEW!.

Life IS about change, NOTHING stays the same. Staying in a relationship without love will teach your daughter that mommy doesn't feel worthy of love. Then she will adapt those same feelings and also have issues later on. You are not doing her a favor by staying.

I am merely talking from experience here. There is NO way to know who will grow with you and who won't but I will tell you. COMMUNICATION is key. Always talk about feelings, interests, really listen to them, their day, their issues, learn to grow together.

I realize you feel pity for him because he is going through some things. Mine was too. Lost his job, his car, our house and then.. well I left too. Took the 2 kids. He didn't die, he actually realized that if he didn't get his poop together, he'd be homeless. He moved out of state, met a nice woman and started a new trade. He said all that happened to us was the best thing ever. We were stuck.. stagnant. He is getting remarried this year (I left in 2007) and so am I. We are still good friends. He talks to and sees the kids. Sometimes change is a good thing.

hi morgana rose welcome to the forum... that is good solid advice from laura, i am going through something similar and what iv learned is this.....no-one should stay in a relationship out of pity it only leads to resentment which then leads to contempt both are negatives that will drain you in the end...children sense when things are not right between the adults in their little lives which can have devistating consequences on them...i have adopted a little moto that i try to live by and fear is the oprative word...
F...is for face
E...is for everything
A...is for and
R...is for recover
face everything and recover...
look inside yourself the answers are there good luck and stay strong xxx

thanks laura and kaz, it's good advice :)

well it's all sorted now, we had a big talk this arvo and we decided to end it for now while he sorts his stuff out, we'll reassess at a later date.
i do feel much better for having made the decision though, so thank you laura and kaz

You are more than welcome. I will watch this thread. Let us know how you get on :)