Twin Flame: Illusion or Real?

Originally Posted by SerpentQueen

Twin flame or not, people always fall in love with someone who is more or less at same level of resonance or vibration-- if you want to use the new age spiritual term. The psychologists have another term for this and it's based on science. It's called limbic resonance and the science says that you cannot will yourself to fall in love with someone who is more emotionally healthy than you are. We routinely fall in love with people who are about the same level of dysfunction and/or emotional health as our own selves.

This comment really got me thinking. So what happens to people that are engaged in a relationship and than undergo a spiritual awakening or begin working on their spiritual health. Their vibrational energy would change (increase) and therefore it would no longer be aligned with the person they are in love with unless they were with their TF that would mirror their vibrational changes. Maybe this is really the underlying issues behind "We just grew apart" or "I fell out of love".

Than again I do believe that when two people are already in love with each other than their energy level resonnates so if one person was to increase their energy level I think the natural state would be for the one with the lower energy to match the higher one. If that wasn't the case than someone that had a spiritual awakening or underwent spiritual "work" would clearly fall out of love with their sig other unless they were a TF that would reap the benfit from the vibrational change.

Another thought on this concept.....When we're seperated from our TF and doing the work on our end to raise our vibrational energy and clear away blockages wouldn't it make sense that if they AREN'T our TF that the attraction would die down due to the disparity in our energies as we elevate ours and they remain the same (assuming they aren't doing an equal amount of "work" on their end as well). Would seem to me that as time passed by if the attraction was still there on our end and you're constantly growing and raising your energy than that would kinda confirm they are your TF would it not? If they weren't than how else could you explain them mantaining the same vibrational resonnnate during a period of rapid growth on your end.

Originally Posted by Ladybug1122

I agree here.

Who says either is further in the path than the other? I used to think that since I was the more aware, that I was further along and would pray that he would hurry and catch up. I don't believe that now. My theory, and this is just an opinion and what I, myself believe, is that we kinda start at opposite ends, so to speak, and meet in the middle. As I'm learning one thing, he's learning another, but at the same time, he's picking up what I'm learning and I'm picking up what he's learning. Eventually, when the time is right, we meet in the middle. That seems to be what is going on with him and I, and makes sense to me. When you also factor in the anamus and anama. Which I thought the whole female/male balance thing was **. But I can see it now. One would think that it is such a small thing, but I see it as a huge part. Men getting in touch with their emotions and learning to be more woman, and woman getting in touch with their male side. On the outside, one would think we were already balanced in this, but in this relationship, I let my emotions take over and he, his logic. No balance was there, on the inside where it mattered. When you think about it ALL, it does make sense.
Not to mention, they are putting us on a pedestal like we are them. So they feel not "good" enough for us. They may say we deserve better. We say they deserve better and feel not "good" enough for them. That's **. No one else is any better than anyone else. Take them off the pedestal, see them as human with faults. And they in turn will take us off, and won't feel that they aren't good enough.

Anyway, I think I'm rambling...lol. I could go on and on and the subject would change 100 times...lol So I'll end here with saying, that I do agree with what SerpentQueen wrote, but wanted to add my thoughts

Oh dear holy cow dung! I'm so sorry that I've not checked this thread for a while; you must all think I've been rude!

Just to clarify something:

What I meant by 'severely underdeveloped' was in terms of spiritual knowledge, understanding and growth...that he's so far ahead of me on that path and in that respect, it makes my head hurt seeing how far I have to go to.

Am over my little pity party now and no longer think of myself as 'unworthy' or 'not good enough', so please refrain from wanting to slap me

Realisations have been washing over me since last night (long story, very dull, another thread, won't go there) and although still keenly feeling the pain of our loss of contact, a new feeling is making itself known: that it's not 'over' per se, but that I have some personal challenges to master, and a fair whack of ego to subdue and discipline.

Thank you so very much, all, for your loving support, insights and wisdom. It's deeply appreciated.

Hugs to all
MorningMist

Originally Posted by BeautifulLife

This comment really got me thinking. So what happens to people that are engaged in a relationship and than undergo a spiritual awakening or begin working on their spiritual health. Their vibrational energy would change (increase) and therefore it would no longer be aligned with the person they are in love with unless they were with their TF that would mirror their vibrational changes. Maybe this is really the underlying issues behind "We just grew apart" or "I fell out of love".

Than again I do believe that when two people are already in love with each other than their energy level resonnates so if one person was to increase their energy level I think the natural state would be for the one with the lower energy to match the higher one. If that wasn't the case than someone that had a spiritual awakening or underwent spiritual "work" would clearly fall out of love with their sig other unless they were a TF that would reap the benfit from the vibrational change.

Another thought on this concept.....When we're seperated from our TF and doing the work on our end to raise our vibrational energy and clear away blockages wouldn't it make sense that if they AREN'T our TF that the attraction would die down due to the disparity in our energies as we elevate ours and they remain the same (assuming they aren't doing an equal amount of "work" on their end as well). Would seem to me that as time passed by if the attraction was still there on our end and you're constantly growing and raising your energy than that would kinda confirm they are your TF would it not? If they weren't than how else could you explain them mantaining the same vibrational resonnnate during a period of rapid growth on your end.

You always seem to raise interesting and valid points, BeautifulLife, thank you

Down to the very marrow of my bones, I know that his love for me hasn't changed.

So many realisations since last night and I've come to realise, now that he's doing what he's doing for my benefit; that I need to take a major leap of faith and trust his judgement while continuing to focus on my own development.

In time, we'll come together again to work on 'the bigger picture'. I've ceased doubting that now.

Hugs
MorningMist

Originally Posted by MorningMist

Down to the very marrow of my bones, I know that his love for me hasn't changed.

So many realisations since last night and I've come to realise, now that he's doing what he's doing for my benefit; that I need to take a major leap of faith and trust his judgement while continuing to focus on my own development.

In time, we'll come together again to work on 'the bigger picture'. I've ceased doubting that now.

Hugs
MorningMist

I couldn't have said this better myself. It was this realization that caused me to seek out answers to begin with. I knew the second I met my TF that she was "the one" but I also knew she wasn't the one right now even though that realization was on a subconscious level at the time.

It's been 5.5yrs since I last saw her and not a single day has passed by where I questioned her love for me. That has always been the only constant. Even in the face of email after email from her where she stated she never loved me and that we'd never be together again I just knew it wasn't the truth and it was just her attempt to keep me at arms length and to take the pressure off of her to be ready to reunite. This goes way beyond intuition in knowing how she feels about me. That's what makes it the most difficult I think to be apart. To know how strongly she feels for me but at the same time learning to respect the fact that she isn't ready for whatever reason to act on those feelings.

BL- The point you made about the massive spiritual growth and changing vibrations is so thought provoking. I am in a situation where my relationship with my husband has actually suffered because I am a completely different person than the one he married. It is very difficult to find common ground at all nowadays.

I am also I unrecognizable as the person I was when I met this other, let's say "divine counterpart" and yet- he and I continue to resonate with each other more and more profoundly. It's staggering really. So I really like this line of thought.

Everything around me and inside me has changed so profoundly in the last 6 or 7 years. Friends, interests, work have all come and gone, as I adapt to this new and always developing awareness. It makes very little sense that I would still be as compelled by a connection to one other individual the whole time.

That's a lot to think about, thanks!

Originally Posted by DulcePoetica

BL- The point you made about the massive spiritual growth and changing vibrations is so thought provoking. I am in a situation where my relationship with my husband has actually suffered because I am a completely different person than the one he married. It is very difficult to find common ground at all nowadays.

I am also I unrecognizable as the person I was when I met this other, let's say "divine counterpart" and yet- he and I continue to resonate with each other more and more profoundly. It's staggering really. So I really like this line of thought.

Everything around me and inside me has changed so profoundly in the last 6 or 7 years. Friends, interests, work have all come and gone, as I adapt to this new and always developing awareness. It makes very little sense that I would still be as compelled by a connection to one other individual the whole time.

That's a lot to think about, thanks!

I'm in a similar situation which is why SQ's comment really resonnated when I read it. I began to question if my attraction for my wife changed due to meeting my TF or if it changed due to me being a different person after I went through my spiritual awakening. I choose to STAY with my wife 5.5yrs ago when my TF presented herself as an option. At that point in time I hadn't been awoken and was completely dead spiritually. It took another 4.5yrs till I lost my mother than things began to change. It's a long story but my mother spoke to me form the grave. Literally physically manifesting an object in front of me at her grave site so that I'd realize that there was life beyond this body and that my mom was ok on the "other side". That began a year long journey which made me reevaluate a lot of things about myself and my feeling for this girl in my past. Through all these changes the one constant in my life was my feelings for this other women that I wasn't in contact with. I found myself becoming less romantically attracted to my wife yet the love for her was still there. She literally was my best friend. I proposed to my wife shortly after my mothers death and we were married 8months later. I knew it was wrong going through the marriage with conflicting feelings yet didn't have the strength to be honest with her and to tell her what I was feeling since at the time I didn't even know. It was literally on my honeymoon and the days that transpired afterwards where the pieces of the puzzle started to fit together. I now find myself in marriage counsuling telling her that I'm not the same person anymore and that this is why I'm telling her things now and not prior to our marriage.

I've also noticed that my attraction for others has changed as well. I find myself more attracted to other people in my life that I wasn't a year ago while others I was attracted to I kind of lost interest in. Like I said the only constant through this entire experience is my feelings for this women I haven't seen in nearly 6yrs.

DP & BL -- I have spent time studying the science of love, and love relationships, as it is a topic that fascinates me. Taking the whole new age angle out of it ("vibrations" and "awakenings")... the science says that we fall in love with those people who's facial microexpressions mimic those of our first caretaker (typically, but not always, mom; could be dad, could be grandparent, could be a sitter or nanny). As this is our first experience of "love."

Humans (most of them; there are exceptions, like those with Aspberger's) are "hardwired" to read these microexpressions, which resonate deeply within our limbic system of the brain. In this way, "love at first sight" is VERY REAL. It has a scientific basis! When we meet someone and without a word something inside of us clicks and we are compelled towards them, what is happening is that we are unconsciously responding to their microexpressions, which remind us of our first caretaker.

The trouble is -- what if that first caretaker was not the best loving example? What if our primary caretaker was distant? Or worse, emotionally or physically abusive?

The scientific theory says this "limbic resonance" is precisely why many people fall in love with partners who are distant, emotionally or physically abusive, or otherwise dysfunctional etc. We *know* intellectually these partners aren't good for us -- yet we cannot help but fall in love with them anyway. It's not necessarily a heart or soul response -- it is a response within the early mapping of our brain.

On the flip side, we also cannot force ourselves to conjure up love for a partner we know, intellectually, is a healthier partner. The women who always fall for the "bad boys" cannot will themselves to fall in love with the "nice guy." It just doesn't happen.

When you start to understand this, then you look around at the relationships around you, and you see very clearly that partners all tend to have "matching" dysfunctions. It nice and neatly fits in with the spiritual concept of "karmic" relationships as well -- except this is based on science.

The science goes on to say that yes, we can "rewire" our brains over time, through relationships. (similar to karmic partners "learning their lesson/paying back karma). A trained therapist is doing this with his/her patients: hours of time with the therapist, face to face, modeling healthier microexpressions, can help "rewire" the patient. As can any relationship with someone who's healthier, and less dysfunctional. Our friendships can serve this purpose... the "in real life" kind because it absolutely requires face-to-face contact.

When we say our twins are "mirrors" I often think about this whole concept of limbic resonance and it may simply mean that we found someone who's microexpressions trigger our limbic system the closest.

The science, however, goes on to say that any rewiring happens gradually. Yes, this rewiring can explain "falling out of love" and "growing apart" (but there's also a whole 'nother pile of science on that particular topic). It can also explain why people move from one relationship to the next, and each successive relationship is *slightly* less dysfunctional than the last.

Yes, DP, it can explain why you find yourself surrounded with a whole new set of people in your life. I find it's interesting, connecting up with people from my past at the rounds of reunions: some people I was crazy about and felt super connected to back then .... no longer have that appeal. They seem "stuck" in the past and I've grown. Whereas I'm also happy to say that many of the people I adored way back when I adore even *more* today... and I am tickled to discover we've had similar paths and experiences in life, winding up in the same place today.

I know in SF we say "go inward" to find yourself and become a "better" person; but there is a lot to be said -- and science behind it -- to going outward, in *relation* with others. We grow an incredible amount in *relation* with others. Face-to-face relation.

[Sarian]

Enjoyed your post, SerpentQueen. Makes a lot of sense.

I agree with everything you just said there, SQ - but I also think there is a difference between unconscious triggers which cause us to repeat lifelong patterns and the experience of true soul connection with another being.

What that limbic response describes to me is attraction, attachment and compulsion toward loyalty that most humans equate with love. But I think a soul mate can actually "wake us up" from this unconscious approach to life and relationships.

I also think there is a difference between rewiring the brain to respond to a different set of non-verbal cues and developing spiritual consciousness and depth of relationships. I feel particularly qualified to observe the difference, because I spent more than 10 years healing myself from these destructive patterns and had come to a place in my life where I had successfully rewired my brain in the ways described above.

Yet, since I began to cultivate a more spiritually minded lifestyle, my entire perspective on human interactions has changed profoundly. It is as though I became aware of a vastly greater aspect to human connection that pre-exists emotions, intellect and physiology.

I can say that my growth, development, awakening... whatever you want to call it, has happened so exponentially fast that I have periodically contemplated that I might actually be insane. And this transformation has completely altered my energetic frequency. How is it (and I think this goes to BL's point) that my counterpart, with whom I am not even particularly friendly in the external world, has been going through the same process at the same speed and has remained a perfect energetic complement every step of the way? That is fascinating to me.

Originally Posted by DulcePoetica

How is it (and I think this goes to BL's point) that my counterpart, with whom I am not even particularly friendly in the external world, has been going through the same process at the same speed and has remained a perfect energetic complement every step of the way? That is fascinating to me.

Yes, this was my entire point and it actually supports the theory that as one twin elevates their vibrational frequency the other twin will benifit as well since they mirror each other in perfect resonnance. My TF was 20 when I met her and I was 30. I haven't seen her since (5.5yrs) yet my feelings for her have remained steadfast. How can that be possible since people change so much in their early 20's and I know I'm a completely different person as well after going through a spiritual awakening. I wonder if the intensity of our connection is a function of a slight change in our vibrational frequency. When the Pull is strong maybe that actually means one of us grew which put us out of harmony. Maybe the pull that is felt is what causes the other person to grow as well so that we're back at the same frequency and in harmony.

Seems to me the connection has always been the most intense around a period of growth.