Can we define our path ?

Originally Posted by Heart

"True love in all of its purity will set you free its source is your destination from which you will experience difficulty and challenges, this defines your way"

...just read it again and this time these words just hit me and i am really crying now...from i don´t know where...feeling like huge relief...i don´t know...thnx for putting them on here...

Although i am meditating for almost half a year now, after being put aside by a wonderful person...and for some time already experiencing that silence, which i can reach within seconds...i thought i was doing pretty well (in fact i know i am doing pretty well), i now realise i am still fighting...or maybe it is what Nikos calls a feeling like being blocked. You know, almost all the time i think i need to solve or do something to get rid of that block, but i think now i don´t need to do anything.
It feels so hard trying to surrender, to let go...

I just don´t know where to go with all of these feelings. This beautiful person blocked me, deleted me...and i don´t blame him. The last couple of days i tried to text him. this...that i still love him so much...a love which i´ve never experienced before. I am trying (i guess to hard) to understand all that is happening. Never in my life have i learned so much about myself as from the moment we sort of parted ways. It´s like all hard moments from all my life...like i relived them again, but now consciously accompanied by all existing emotions. And it was okay. I invited it...But i was also shocked a couple of times to find out how bad i´d felt myself, but putting it all away.

And how is it possible to reach a person who is blocked...who blocks herself, with all pains, emotions and such.
O wow, your words seemed to really have triggered something in me...so many tears...

I believe that in having met this beautiful person...that i started loving in the first hours or maybe even minutes or seconds after we met for the first time (though i only understood it was love that i felt after months, because he triggered so much deep inside of me)...it is a meeting with unconditional love. It´s hard...i so badly want him...would like to see him again or speak to him...though i believe it really is about that unconditional love...and to learn to love myself that way. And that´s what i am having a very hard time with...but again...i think i am trying to hard... EDIT: i don´t think i need to give myself that love, because in fact i am love...?
And the unconditional love already is God or the Universe or Source...

Could it be we meet such a person to try and understand the concept of unconditional love? Like you wrote about NDE...there are different ways to get to know Source.

I remember i always had the wish to meet my true love...was different from people around me. But what was that true love? Did we think that was about that special person? Or was that wish about Unconditional love itself or about Source? Or maybe about our real self...which of course is part of Source..

What if i am already there (hmmm...i already explode into tears while only thinking these words...)...

But then again...how??? I just don´t understand...or see...

I once saw...knew..had an awakening...but why is it like this right now? It feels like i am only looking in the wrong way...like i only need to turn my head the other way...what is it? Jeeze...you really hit a nerve here...and hard...wow...

´´This beautiful person blocked me, deleted me.´´...Reading my words again these words sort of lit up...if this beautiful person is in fact unconditional love....then unconditional love blocked me, it deleted me....Who´s me? Is this still about ego? Is ego standing in the way...looking through the wrong eyes?

Hm...how, in an hour of time, thoughts can change...:
Did i come to earth, as a soul, as a part of source, part of unconditional Love...to be able to learn what feelings accompany unconditional love? Not so much to learn who i really am, but what i really am (and again tears, tears, tears), which is love..?
A couple of weeks ago i had a vision in a split second with that beautiful person in it...we were sort of face to face...and what i felt between us, made my heart almost explode...it made me cry, because of this beautiful and intense feelings. Sort of the ultimate...

Well..something suddenly really is happening here...

[Heart]

dear irisa

i will respond properly later on today, for now i will give you something to ponder on...

for you to recognize something deep seated in my words enough for them to bring tears to your eyes is to recognize that there is also something deep seated within yourself that yearns to be recognized, this is what it feels like to express eternal wisdom of the heart,
one tear of knowing the truth that comes from the heart represents an ocean of suffering.... released

ever been really hungry? how do you feel when you have had your fill, a huge satisfying relief, you may even want to fall asleep after a 'Hearty' meal, my words reflect food for the soul, our hunger or needs to find someone 'out there' within these connections is a reflection of the soul that seeks wisdom for food within, yes wisdom is food our goal in life is to recognize wisdom within and have our fill

Originally Posted by Heart

my words reflect food for the soul, our hunger or needs to find someone 'out there' within these connections is a reflection of the soul that seeks wisdom for food within, yes wisdom is food our goal in life is to recognize wisdom within and have our fill

True...i understand that...i experienced that after awakening about 18 years ago. I had moments where i suddenly thought of just a random word and just had to sit down and write. A couple of hours later i would sit there and read answers to my questions in the poem i just wrote. Rhythm and rhyme were no problem...the words just flew out of my pen...before i had the awakening i disliked poems lol...never thought of writing them...

The last couple of weeks i sometimes feel a yearning for writing them again...but the words and feeling aren´t just there yet.

I know...for me it was just like magic back then...

I don´t understand where i am right now...it feels like i am dancing around it and it just don´t seem to work...The silence is there all the time, but i feel sort of numb...like i am stuck at level 3 or so...

...maybe things in life are directing me in that way of true love...the one inside myself...but in a very hard way...

Time and time again i think i finally relived the last pains/emotions...but no...it then seems like you got some extra free time to get and feel even deeper then the times before...

Tonight i wanted to focus on that true love in all it´s purity. But where i ended up was in tears. I so much want to apologize to that beautiful person, for my chasing behaviour, but he deleted and blocked me, so i have no way of getting my message to him. That is already killing, but the feeling it gives me that after months and months he still doesn´t want any contact and maybe never ever again...this triggers an almost feeling of disaster in me. Earlier tonight i learned why i started chasing...because of a huge fear of loosing him, loosing that great love. This feeling of disaster has two fears in it: the fear of loosing him/never going to see him again, and the killing feeling which is triggered by being blocked and deleted...like i don´t exist or being unwanted. (not existing is not new, but the being unwanted comes up right now...)...makes me go quiet..
It sure hurts like ..., maar it´s no drama, since i consciously invite the buried feelings.

Also comes up by not having the possibility of making excuses...having no right to speak. All feelings resonate with me...from long ago...and again: no drama. I wasn´t aware of them then because i was too young. But it is a little bit creepy how you suddenly can feel all those pent up subconscious emotions from so long ago.

It feels though like i´m getting closer to where i am heading...(well, that sounds weird.. )

I feel empty...but not yet in a good way...

[Heart]

First off.. I wish to thank Nicos, whose words I used to convey an important message, yet I was inspired to respond, not write about, but to respond, Nicos inspired I to write, I saw a message, a channeled message that was, or seems to I one of incredible authenticity, responding seems a normal thing to do yet I am expressing something that still remains unfathomable, because how can I know it’s a channeled message? truth be told it feels like the unfathomable is seeking knowledge of itself through these connections and provides for us an authentic response, incredible is it not?
There is no such thing as being deleted or blocked by someone… only the perception of ourselves, we are reflections mirrors and smoke with each other, your inner light is so bright it hurts others when we shine, we turn our own back to it and observing a reflection of ourself, as it flickers we fear it, fear is facing the unknown aspect of these reflections yet there is nothing to fear, all you have to do is turn around and see what radiant beauty resides within.
“O wow, your words seemed to really have triggered something in me...so many tears...”
I am who you already are, beyond comprehension yet forever present within, pause… wow!! Again channeled, I seem to get this a lot when I focus on something deeply seated within
To continue..
Love… in all of its purity will set you free, very hard to comprehend if your head-over-heals-in-love (been there so many times it surprises I) yet is still relatively easy to subside if you invert this love within you, the another person has in all effect given you an unfathomable gift that is very, very, very, very…….. easy, to mistake for a lusting wanting needing desire to be with.
There is no difference between Nicos gift to I as a response as it is for you to surrender or let go of a reflection without and seen as such within, it comes from the same source, we are all connected and only separated by universal design

“I once saw...knew..had an awakening...but why is it like this right now? It feels like i am only looking in the wrong way...like i only need to turn my head the other way...what is it? Jeeze...you really hit a nerve here...and hard...wow...”
You are realizing how powerful you really are. My words reflect this, I am humbled by how this works as it is something that is beyond the mind to comprehend but trust me, you are awakening to your true potential, just let it all go. Surrender unto your own heart, give back the love you have for him… to the unknowable, to the entire universe, it deserves your love, needs your loving energy, reflect your love for him to the entire universe

[Heart]

There is so much going on here, channeling, connections, unknowable's sources of unfathomable universal loving energy that to relay upon a screen within a forum is virtually impossible to remain complete in its understanding and without a shadow of a doubt easy to misinterpret, yet when I shed a tear to what I write or have done so to cause another member of this forum, it is to shed light upon the beauty that resides within each an every one of us

[lamb1]

I need a guidance and some help :/

First off.. I wish to thank Nicos,

...you are awakening to your true potential, just let it all go. Surrender unto your own heart, give back the love you have for him… to the unknowable, to the entire universe, it deserves your love, needs your loving energy, reflect your love for him to the entire universe

I thank Nikos as well! For having started this thread...it feels like i am stealing it now, but i think i should or could see it as the way of the universe...sometimes you are suddenly caught by something written...even before reading it...i have that with dreams of others´...if i try and interpret them, so many times it feels like an answer to myself...the interpretation need not be the right one for that person, but on the other hand...how different are we really from each other?

I also thank you again, Heart! At the moment you sort of speak to my heart or soul. As i the part about...`you are awakening to your true potential´...when my eyes arrived at ´true potential´ so many tears again.

Yesterday, in trying to get my message through to him, i think i really hit rock bottom with my emotions...about what this blocking triggers in me. I just let it al out. Did sleep a little and this morning in between (more beautiful) tears i felt sort of a serenity again. It made me write him a last message...totally different from yesterdays´. Knowing it won´t be seen by his eyes, but it felt good...wholesome. It is then that (again) i understand how i needed this...this is also mirroring. It was for the first time i suddenly knew i wasn´t fighting him (or his behaviour), but i am only fighting myself. That´s what he told me already when we were still in contact. Yesterday it suddenly hit me how i found (saw) myself in him. What made me feel so much love for him...while he was just being himself...i recognized myself in it and realized back then that i, years ago, had started to hate that part of me...felt ashamed of that part of me.

How can you be ashamed of and even hate right that part (authentic) of yourself, when it is exactly that part in the other that makes you feel the most beautiful and ultimate love you´ve ever experienced?!

So...from rock bottom...going up again..

Pondering certain words ands questions that i found when the black cloud from yesterday and so many years already disappeared.

Like:
You (Heart) wrote something deep inside, truth, true love...I wrote about having a yearning for writing poetry again. And i was wondering if i am looking in the wrong direction...
This morning i thought: what if it is not so much about that yearning feeling, but is yearning in fact words/feelings/stories/truth/wisdom/love waiting to be invited to put their blueprint on a piece of paper...waiting to be written, to be read, to be understood and to spread wonderful feelings?
(but then again: they need an open and clear space to find their way out)

I was also thinking that it is ´a lonely road´ that i am on. But, of course, how lonely is it really? It is a long road...of course...it is called life..
To return to the thread as it was started by Nikos: thinking about that lonely and long road i suddenly ´knew´ that i am exactly where i am supposed to be and that i will arrive exactly there where i want or need to go. I believe it doesn´t matter which choices you make. I think we get a certain load of baggage with us even from before birth and our intuition leads the way. Thoughts/ego of course accompanies us, lots of times for our own good, but i now believe everything is right how it is supposed to be. I might feel sometimes, like yesterday, that i am in such a dark space and that this is not what god or the universe would want for me. But i think that i what we are here for on earth...to learn in the world of duality. Without dark, there´s no light. Without pain, there´s no love. Of course there´s always love everywhere. But in order to recognize love, to learn what true love is you need the experience in duality.

What i find a little bit weird: what i just wrote above, i´ve read that so many times in my life and almost always did seem to understand what is meant with it. But to really experience it consciously....

[Nikos1982]

Heart, I know this connection is a 'true love' , thanks for the message.

[Heart]

Originally Posted by lamb1

I need a guidance and some help :/

I received your pm. I will help as much as I can