Breaking old patterns

[Roselove]

I guess this thread is questions for anyone that's had to undergo some kind of transformation and change their old thought patterns and behaviors

i am having hard time setting boundaries, speaking my truth etc, i make progress then i cycle back to old behavior and fears, then i have panic attacks lol just wanted to ask if this is normal? did you have confusion as well? how long did it take for the fears, anxieties, tc to subside and for you to change completely and if you had any advice, i am really struggling with this thanks!

Well, all that I can say is be gentle with yourself and don't expect it to happen over night. Don't expect yourself to change everything at once. Choose one or 2 goals. Break the down into observable, measurable 'steps' or goals.

One thing I can remember with myself is a lot of frustration after my first 'mini-awakening' (for lack of better words) because I came to realize that I create my own reality but I was beating the hell out of myself for still feeling negatively, attracting some of the same things, going into the same traumatic shock, etc. The thing is that I was not validating my feelings... not really. It's different for everyone. Usually we get little glimpses of the truth and sometimes we mistake this for the entire picture. When I no longer have anything to learn or grow... I guess I'll probably be dead. ;)

Hey Rosewater, I feel i am currently going through this and i have so many up and down moments. In my mind i know what im suppose to do to rid myself of the negative thoughts and patterns but they just keep coming back and i catch myself slipping. Im guessing the beginning stages are the toughest especially depending on how far down you have gotten. When i feel im dropping to far i call my spiritualist or try to reach out to someone that is positive so the negative doesnt build up. Its tough (change that is) but just remember what this change will mean for you.

I would think it depends on many things and the person as well. My first few months were full of fear. Then I progressed and became more brave. I tried and conquered bigger and scarier things one step at a time.

When I first started I had so many questions. I realized this past week that I don't have questions... well, I should say "pressing questions". I am content to watch things unfold and learn as I go along. I'm not in a hurry to learn everything. I'm sure I don't have the whole picture, but I've seen enough glimpses.

I guess the most reassuring to me is that I've had my own visions and I trust what I have seen myself. So now I feel calm and at peace.... Reading what other people do and believe hasn't done much to assure me. It is in forging my own path and conquering my own fear that has given me confidence. I would never have dreamed a year ago that I would be where I am now.

Hi Rosewater, I feel your pain and am struggling with very similar goings on. But hey the first thing to do is realise that we are aware and trying to do something about this. The momentum and power of negative thinking can be very overwhelming at times, what I have tried to do is concentrate on what I am doing. If it is cleaning the bath I give thanks I have a bath to clean, water to bath in and go right back to the source how it gets to my home etc this brings me back to the here and now. Sometimes there is a moment where all the stuff that holds me down just falls away and I sigh and know in my heart that I am on the right road, we all share that road in different ways. Talking about it and recognising it is a help in itself no matter who we are there are tests. I send a big hug to you, love and light.

Originally Posted by rosewater

i am having hard time setting boundaries, speaking my truth etc, i make progress then i cycle back to old behavior and fears, then i have panic attacks lol just wanted to ask if this is normal?

It is not only normal, it is even a good sign! I'm sorry if that seems strange but hang in there.

The keys in making a new pattern are twofold -- first setting the new reality, then gradually transforming over the old energy to the new approach. In order to make that new approach work to start with, to some extent you have to ignore some parts of you that are still in the old approach. Then when you have made some progress, those parts will call out to you again.

Such times, when you feel a 'pull' back to the old way are a yin phase. The new way involves willpower, moving to the place you envision -- fire and air stuff, yang stuff. But when the old stuff comes back up, that is more yin, more gentle, more water and earth. One has to sit with oneself, sometimes in silence, sometimes in self-dialogue, trying to understand what the feelings are saying, what the old belief system is based on, what you really are and believe, not pushing (or only pushing minimally, depending on how urgent the change is.)

When enough of that is done, you feel re-empowered to move forward. That is because the energy of the old way has transformed. This cycle then repeats until all the old energy has transformed.

It can be of tremendous help to always keep contact with the part that resists, even after the desire to go back to the old way has left, because it is likely to be sensitive and inward, probably childlike, and essentially what you are doing is reparenting it (from a certain point of view.) So it needs to know you are there and that you remain confident what you are doing is right. And you can talk to it acceptingly.

Once you have been through the whole thing once, it becomes much easier to change in the future, into anything you need to be for the situation you are in. You become increasingly free of conditioning.

I wish you best of luck!

[Roselove]

thank you everyone, it just seems like right when i brake a pattern, something sets me back. Lol the subconscious voices in my head are still stirring up problems for me

Lol the subconscious voices in my head are still stirring up problems for me

I repeat, it is a good sign. Talk to them and listen to them, be with them, allow them to transform and to accept your leadership. You need those voices, they are part of your energy. They play a role -- you can even ask what role they are playing...

[Roselove]

ok, lol right now they are protesting

If i might share my view

The key is the 5 of Cups for me,

The hooded figure looks down at the spilled cups oblivious to the remaining upstanding cups.

Focusing on Loss and not that which remains is the difference between thinking yourself to be unfortunate or fortunate.