Married men

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

i respect your views too 7luminaries.
i had been thinking along the lines of some 3rd party coming along, and
asking that unsuitable suitor about the girl (maybe he's interested?). if
she were on speaking terms, comfortably in the friend zone, he could say
something like "she's looking for a single guy... if i were single i might be
interested". if she was on unfriendly terms, he might say something like
"she's stuck up" or similar... which seems less likely to help anything.

also, i figure it's better to not label a large swath of humanity as despicable,
lazy, hardcore predators. it seems probable to me that a majority of those
who might get tagged as predators are simply humans who are in need of
something that they don't quite understand how to get; perhaps intimacy.
sex and intimacy may get confused with one another.

Horace, hello there and thanks for your thoughtful response.

Let me clarify tht I was specifically referring to the specific men that SoulRenew described having personally encountered. And then sharing my thoughts on the married men who knew her personally but came onto her, with the idea of using her for sex and touch and yes, perhaps for casual intimacy. To be honest, I just don't see how we can call this anything other than what it is. It is lazy and it is predatory. As for their private emotional state...we can infer (but not know for certain) that they are desperate, etc. Or maybe they are arrogant and self-absorbed? Who knows for certain what they feel?

But in any case, folks who seek to use others to assuage their lack (however they feel) are generally coming from a place of lack, I agree. It appears they are externalising their lack and seeking others for the purposes of temporary assuaging of the lack. Rather than owning it and being loving and responsible toward others. There are no quick fixes...I don't see how using others and behaving dishonourably is ever going to take one toward a place of peace and right-alignment in truth and love.

Of course, it is possible that she might network successfully with these less-than-reputable types and that they may still have her best interests at heart even though she's turned them down or indicated non-interest in sex with them. But I would say the odds are really quite low and the more time she spends anywhere near them, the more likely they are to see her as prey and/or as a receptive target.

I wish very much that more folks were aligned at centre more like you are -- you have an awful lot that you could teach other men about what honour looks like and sounds like, and how it shapes your perspective of us in the fullness of our humanity. But we are still on the bleeding edge, and I feel everyone needs to bring their honour and high regard for others with them.

Unfortunately, IMO, we cannot much overlook or deny the absence of these things in others, particularly regarding how they treat us and others, and then in any way be surprised when we are treated dishonourably and without proper regard for our well-being.

Peace & blessings
7L