Spirituality behind submission/domination

[frenchbread]

My TF and I do have a Servant and Master quality to our relationship. I am the submissive one and he is the dominant. We have explored it through conversation but that is about it. We do get a sensual rush from it and enjoy it. In my life I am very independent,strong minded and find that I need to be in control of everything. When we play these roles, I guess I like it because I can let go, relinquish control and give it someone else. I do wonder why he likes it and though I've never asked him, I assume its because he doesn't have too much control in his life or as much as he would like to have. I also think the gender stereotypes of males being strong and dominant and females being passive and weak play into it as well. I feel like I carry a lot of masculine energy, I don't tend to see myself as a girly girl, but when I am with TF, i feel incredibly feminine and womanly. He even brings out maternal instincts that I never even thought existed within me. It wouldn't surprise me if in a past life I was the male and he the female.
I think the S&M part of our relationship is a way to reverse roles and perhaps balance the masculine and feminine energies we carry. It's weird and taboo and we know that which is probably why we also like it, like an inside joke.
I trust him though. I wouldn't do this with anyone else but him. I am comfortable showing this side of me to him.
I am glad someone brought this up because I wasn't sure if this was something TF's were supposed to be doing. I guess everybody is different and all relationships are different.

[Xan]

Spirituality behind submission/domination

A different view, not about personal relationship:

I submit to no person, but surrender only to spirit within me, my own true being.

That's the 'spirituality' of it.


Xan

This was one of tf & I's issues.. but I believe that it was not about, submissive or not, control or not, as to the real problem, but of communication. When adjusting to a person on an intimate level (however that is, whether in relationship/marriage or business partner, etc), there is a time of adjusting. There ARE roles people play together, in sharing their authentic self. In communicating, who one is & the desired outcome, there is growth & stability.
TF would get upset with me very easily & seemed defiant on working thru the, "issues," we had. Many marriages fail because of the lack of commication & the couple fights about the same things over & over without resolve.
By taking time to sit down & talk about different ways of handling a problem & sharing authentic self.. ie, this is what I need & this is how I will take care of this need, or this is (being Specific) what I would like to occur.. etc.. & then continuing along in that manner.
I know when he was upset he needed a lot of space.. some of this is just a guy..but he was sometimes extreme this way.

What didn't change seemingly was the ability to sit down together, even after a time out .. to cool off if/when need be.. & then come back together as to how to work through the issue/s. All people who are close have to work thru difficulties, differences in personalities etc.

I felt that he was wanting me to change who I am rather than the situation of what was happening. As tf's are authentic self together so it's not about even being able to change Self, but change of the ways of communicating, & also a big thing I believe is in being patient with each other to the best of each other's ability that change is able to take place. That too is where balancing self First as much as possible before coming together.
He said he was other half, yet at ever turn he was seemingly fighting with me, leaving, cutting off.. & ultimately for good. There was not a desire to work through things.
With these there is a lot of intensity, so learning too how to diffuse that on a personal level is a big part of it. I still feel strongly any & all medications can become an issue if there is a need to express & work together at authentic self level.. which is powerful.

The lessons are a big part in these & in life. Energy/love, the divine nature of .. that represents God's Love. The purpose of, to manifest, is about hard work of self, patience, understanding & faith (living by faith, "not by sight, as is said in the bible!).
I believe:
It's about ASCENSION, of self, & in reaching out, understanding God, Who He Is & sharing this gift of love with others .. by living His Word, becoming one with HIM.. The Purifying Light & Love of CHRIST.

One of my internship classes in college, we were taught, when a situation arises.. take note of:
1. The thought
2. Feeling
3. Action to take

It's not about ignoring something, or not allowing a feeling to occur, but the processing of.. it is about energy! I think of the figure 8.. (whereas heart/soul is center). TF did work with me on that one, to stay in my heart.
& as human beings one processes .. to proceed.