Kindly Help !!

Originally Posted by veronicax

Sorry hun , i personally feel that it is a two way street and very mutual. If only one person feels the connection than it is something else. I know for a fact that if my TF wouldn't of stayed in contact after we graduated that I would of thought of him fondly but that's about it. As with any relationship it take two to well, really make it a relationship at all. Good luck and maybe you are being exposed to the idea because your real TF is on her way soon ..

I've been meditating daily and I'm in touch with my spirituality. I seem to instintively know that I'll always love her no matter what happens. I think I've reached a state of unconditional love. I'm just worried by the total absence of any physical signs. Maybe she is holding back out of fear of the unknown. Wadya think ?

Originally Posted by vck87

Whether she physically unites with or not I just instinctively know that she is the love of my life.

I think you are saying something interesting here by using the frase "the love of my life" instead of TF and that she might as well be! For that there is no need for any connection between the souls prior to the meeting (we meet people in each lifetime we have never met before on a soul level and constantly create new bonds). It can also be you have met in another life and did this dance once before? The world is full of possibilities.

and I think nobody here denies you have a connection with her, some of us just say that it do not sound like a TF or Soulmate connection. This does not make it less special. The thing is that maybe you sense a soul or some qualities in her that you feel that you are compatible with. Is that something worth pursuing? Yes.

I have come to the conclusion that the frase "A Love of my Life" is more fitting than "The Love of my Life" because throughout our life we will meet a lot of souls we are quite compatible with (we just do not know it on a soul level prior to meeting all of them). In this you shall find solace (this sentence just came into my head). haha sorry it just came into my head with such a distant loving and wise voice (strange to think of thoughts having a distinct voice/sound).

Originally Posted by vck87

I've been meditating daily and I'm in touch with my spirituality. I seem to instintively know that I'll always love her no matter what happens. I think I've reached a state of unconditional love. I'm just worried by the total absence of any physical signs. Maybe she is holding back out of fear of the unknown. Wadya think ?

I still think you would have seen/felt the hold back in her if it was a TF. But it is great to hear that you have reach a state of unconditional love! this is a great place to be but might also mean that you creates strong bonds to people faster than those who have not reached that level of awareness.

Think I have forgot something but I can't remember it so this has to do. Hope it helps put perspective on things

Originally Posted by vck87

I seem to instintively know that I'll always love her no matter what happens. I think I've reached a state of unconditional love.

That's because love really is eternal. I really do believe that once love is developed between two people its there for good. You might not realize at the time especially if the relationship goes south in a big way but once you clear yourself of the pain, anger and other earthly emotions can you not see that the love is still there and always willl be? This isnt' specific to a twin flame or even a soul mate. This is just how love is. Once it flows from your heart it will continue to flow eternally.

SerpentQueen presented the following concept to me awhile ago and its really helped a lot. You don't really "fall out of love". Thats not what is really happending. What's happening is you're just prefering to be with someone else due to you not recieving what you want or need anymore or that person is just no longer meeting your expectations that match your desires. Look back at all the people you've loved romantically and ask yourself if you still love them but just prefere not to be with them. You never really fell out of love did you?

Looking at love this way I think will help a lot of people that suffer from abandonment issues since love is NOT being withdrawn. I mentioned it yesterday that those that suffer from abandonment issues suffer in two ways. They suffer from being LEFT behind as well as suffer LEAVING someone behind. When you view these seperations start looking at them as there is just a change in preference not love being withdrawn. The person does still love you and you still love them. Just one or both of you prefere to physically be with another person. Is that really so bad?

The hardest part for me in relationships has always been saying goodbye. Due to the guilt and pain of withdrawing my love. I've always ended relationships for the most part by making the other person miserable so that they'd leave me behind. I'd do this so that I wouldn't have to suffer their pain of being left behind in addition to the pain of the seperation. By leaving someone else I've always looked at it as I was taking love back but that was never the case. I just prefered to spend my life with someone else.

Originally Posted by vck87

I kinda agree with this. I've considered this before. But when I do dismiss the connection and second guess myself I get bombarded with visions of her. I keep oscillating between these extremes which is very much frustrating. Whether she physically unites with or not I just instinctively know that she is the love of my life. I agree this does seem like blind faith to everyone other than me.

I think Bjoorka gave you most excellent advice.

In the space of possibilities, have you considered that this woman may not be your TF, but strongly resembles her (not just physically but also energetically)? Have you considered that the visions are coming not from this woman at work, but your true TF, whom you have yet to meet? Have you considered your true TF is working through this woman at work to distract you and keep you single until destiny can arrange for your true TF to show up in your life?

There are so many possibilities. It is good to remain open to them all, especially since you are not getting any reciprocation or encouragement and this woman is now engaged.

I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have one last honest talk with this woman and tactfully express your feelings to her -- before she gets married. But be prepared to hear a more forceful rejection rather than a polite one. And be prepared to see her glow as she talks about her fiance.

Woah !! I have to admit I've never considered so many possibilities. Thanks a lot guys. I now realise that my reality continues to be in a state of flux. Now thats not bad is it. It is in utter chaos that we find the answers to many of life's questions. TF or not, I'm indeed ready for the TF connection. Having realised unconditional love feels wonderful. I will continue to walk in the path of spirituality and see where it leads.

Been giving a lot more thought this morning to the idea of abadonment issues. I never really explored that idea before which is ridiculous now that I think about it. My biological dad left me when I was 1 , my mother died recently which just so happend to be right before I proposed to my wife (didn't buy the ring or even had plans till after she was burried) and my first real adult love broke up with me the night before my first final my freshman year of college. I ended up failing out of school as well as losing my first love at the same time. At one point I had a loaded gun in my mouth over this but held back due to not wanting to cause pain to my family.

I never realize it at the time but I think a lot of those issues have followed me from one relationship to the next. It explains why I dated so many women yet was never satisfied. It explains why the "serious" "long term" relationships that I've been involved in (only 2) were with women I felt completely safe and loved by. It also explain why all the really intense connection I tend to sabatoage or push away. This includes what I did to my TF. It also explains why I struggle to end a relationship I know I'm not satisfied in.

Anyone that is going through a seperation period with their TF I suggests explore this possiblity. Not just looking at yourself but also them as well. My guess is one or both of you are probably experiencing abadonment issues. Who wouldn't be when you're have literally been abadoned by the person you love the most which just so happens to be a reflection of yourself. Its like you've abadoned yourself. OUCH!


http://www.myshrink.com/counseling-theory.php?t_id=7

Originally Posted by SerpentQueen

I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have one last honest talk with this woman and tactfully express your feelings to her -- before she gets married. But be prepared to hear a more forceful rejection rather than a polite one. And be prepared to see her glow as she talks about her fiance.

How could you not do this? The pain of the rejection will be nothing compared to the pain of living with regrets. I wouldn't hesitate at all about doing this. Even if you have to do it via email. Just do it.

Originally Posted by BeautifulLife

How could you not do this? The pain of the rejection will be nothing compared to the pain of living with regrets. I wouldn't hesitate at all about doing this. Even if you have to do it via email. Just do it.

Yeah, I was surprised you didn't suggest this to the OP!

Originally Posted by SerpentQueen

Yeah, I was surprised you didn't suggest this to the OP!

My thoughts were elsewhere. Focused on saving a starving villiage of ants.

Originally Posted by BeautifulLife

My thoughts were elsewhere. Focused on saving a starving villiage of ants.