my dark night of the soul

This forum has 'saved my life' many a time! There is a reason you found this forum Loving Soul, like all of us here...there are no coincidences ... and regardless of the labels that we place on our connections and whether they in fact our twin souls, soulmates, karmic connections or very strong soul connections, we are all going through some very intense experiences and this forum is a support system for all of us. We are in fact, I believe, a soul family who agreed to connect on this platform in our time of need to help carry us through this that is our path to spiritual growth and ultimately enlightenment... perhaps too (it occurs to me now) is also part of our purpose to being in a twin/sc relationship .....

Originally Posted by ShiningStar

I would never attempt to explain to my family what I'm going through. They would just give the simple advice, "He's not right for you, you can do so much better, move on to someone who appreciates you, blah, blah, blah." But do you ever look at people you know, family, friends who have married or have relationships and wonder if they are partnered with a TF or SM or karmic relationship? I do it all the time now that I have some knowledge about these connections.

Yeah, than look at the relationship history of those giving you advice. I've recieved advice from someone with multiple divorces tell me that I should stay in my marriage because my wife really really loves me. LOL what? Thats not a reason to stay in a relationship at all. Its expected. I've also had people that refuse to leave their own relationship that they are unhappy with give me advice to "try and make things work". These people are giving the advice that allows them to not have to feel uncomfortable or regretefull for their own relationships and decissions. Someone that is miserable in a relationship isn't going to want to tell someone else they should leave because that forces them to reevaluate their own weaknesses and failure to make themself happy. It's like those of us that are married and have a TF. If we give the advice to follow your heart and leave your marraige to pursue your TF where does that leave ourselves? Correct....Not following our own advice and therefore uncomfortable with OWN decission in life.

You ever notice that most people in society are not truly happy in their own relationship even if they put on a front to the public or family? Even those that appear to be in a blissfull marriage usally have a completely different experience behind closed doors. I see many people in life that have settled (the norm) and its uncomfortable for them to hear that someone else is unwilling to settle and is willing to give up something that appears to be better than what they even have for the unknown. That makes them uncomfortable to hear that someone else is actually willing to strive for true happiness instead of just making the best out of what they currently have and buying into the believe that "No relationship is perfect".

Same thing with children. Most guys will tell you that having a kid was the greatest thing that ever happend to them but the honest ones will usually tell you they'd rather go back to their old life if they had the choice. Not that they regrete having a kid just that they were happier with their old lifestyle which didn't center around the need of another 24/7.

The thing is most people aren't honest with themselves because they feel trapped and dont' want to admit how they really feel because they dont' think they can do anything about it. You have a kid and are married. Are you really going to admit that you'd rather be single and not have a kid?

Originally Posted by soul whisperer

This forum has 'saved my life' many a time! There is a reason you found this forum Loving Soul, like all of us here...there are no coincidences ... and regardless of the labels that we place on our connections and whether they in fact our twin souls, soulmates, karmic connections or very strong soul connections, we are all going through some very intense experiences and this forum is a support system for all of us. We are in fact, I believe, a soul family who agreed to connect on this platform in our time of need to help carry us through this that is our path to spiritual growth and ultimately enlightenment... perhaps too (it occurs to me now) is also part of our purpose to being in a twin/sc relationship .....

People so often lose sight of what you've just said and instead try to focus on the label of the relationship the person is experiencing. My favorite is when someone struggles theirself with believing they found their TF and than are quick to shoot down someone else that is going through the same stuggle just further upstream than them. Just because their experience isn't the same they can't relate and are just as quick to dismiss the connection as those in life that have only experienced "normal" relationship.

What you've said can not be said enough. We are all her to share, learn, heal and grow.

Yes Soul Whisperer I completely agree :) My question wasn't to dispell the value of this forum (god knows this has seriously been the lifeline I needed!) I asked out of curiosity....I have told my sister about the forum and it was a question she posed to me and I wanted to get the opinion of those that have been in this a lot long than I so thank you for yr replies :) funny u say that BLife I have started looking at other relationships around me - how amazing to see that very few are what I would say are truly happy - I think that's part of my fear...now that I have discovered the power of my connection with my love there is no moving on for me I couldn't find true happiness with anything less it would feel like a lie - well right now it would anyway I can't imagine that changing !?! BLife please don't think I would judge anyone's relationship here(I'm not sure if yr post was directed towards me) - I have found so much relief in hearing and being able to believe in other peoples stories :)

Soul Whisperer - what an awesome way to look at our coming together here - in a time of such loneliness and exclusion - that we are a soul family :)

Originally Posted by Loving_Soul

funny u say that BLife I have started looking at other relationships around me - how amazing to see that very few are what I would say are truly happy - I think that's part of my fear...now that I have discovered the power of my connection with my love there is no moving on for me I couldn't find true happiness with anything less it would feel like a lie - well right now it would anyway I can't imagine that changing !?! BLife please don't think I would judge anyone's relationship here(I'm not sure if yr post was directed towards me) - I have found so much relief in hearing and being able to believe in other peoples stories :)

no my posts wasn't directed at you at all. I was just building off of what you stated is all. And yes its true. Just look at the divorce rate and than realize that 50% or w/e of the people that actually get married end up getting a divorce. And these are the people that are/were actually COMMITTED to going all the way for the most part with their partner. The failure rate of people that aren't married is even higher. In my case i'm 1/136 in regards to getting married and i'm 0/136 in regards to being completey happy. Add in the rest of the worlds numbers and you'll see how rare it really is to find "the one" let alone to be truly happy with "the one". The vast majority of relationship I truly believe are lacking. There is enough to provide a positive experience and that is why people stay. Not because they believe they have truly found the love of their life. The problem is very few people are willing to admit that to themselves let alone others so to the rest of the world it looks like everyone is in healthy happy relationships. How many times do you hear that people are SHOCKED when someone is getting a divorce. "they seem so happy together". What a joke.....

Originally Posted by Loving_Soul

Soul Whisperer - what an awesome way to look at our coming together here - in a time of such loneliness and exclusion - that we are a soul family :)

I've said this a few times before. If you google "spiritual forums", "twin flame forums", "twin soul forums", "soul mate forums", ect you'll most likely end up here. This site is the first link in a lot of those searches and in others its still #2 or #4. My point is anyone truly looking to find people to discuss soul connection let alone twin flame connection would EASILY find this site. Would you really be surprised if other soul mates or members of your soul famaily wouldn't either already be on this site or find it at some point down the road. You're not alone and never have been my friend.

You ever notice that most people in society are not truly happy in their own relationship even if they put on a front to the public or family? Even those that appear to be in a blissfull marriage usally have a completely different experience behind closed doors. I see many people in life that have settled (the norm) and its uncomfortable for them to hear that someone else is unwilling to settle and is willing to give up something that appears to be better than what they even have for the unknown. That makes them uncomfortable to hear that someone else is actually willing to strive for true happiness instead of just making the best out of what they currently have and buying into the believe that "No relationship is perfect".

I agree with this 100% :)
When I split with my ex and decided to move to the same city where my TF lives, many people around me were very sceptical at first: I was giving up a long-term relationship with a man ready to marry me - give up a beautiful house that I had poured my heart & soul into - give up that "settled" life that was "comfortable."
But all of that was just a mask - underneath, I had been miserable for a very long time. Once I acknowledged/admitted this, I knew I had to get out - whether or not it meant jumping into the unknown with both feet!
And my relationship with my TF isn't "perfect" either (at least not until we can be completely together with no obstacles...) but I am happier now than I have ever been - and I would not trade what I feel now with my TF, for going back to "settling" for what I had....and, like you - others see me & my TF together, and can see the connection between us - I think they just get jealous, lol :)

Originally Posted by sesheta

I agree with this 100% :)
When I split with my ex and decided to move to the same city where my TF lives, many people around me were very sceptical at first: I was giving up a long-term relationship with a man ready to marry me - give up a beautiful house that I had poured my heart & soul into - give up that "settled" life that was "comfortable."
But all of that was just a mask - underneath, I had been miserable for a very long time. Once I acknowledged/admitted this, I knew I had to get out - whether or not it meant jumping into the unknown with both feet!
And my relationship with my TF isn't "perfect" either (at least not until we can be completely together with no obstacles...) but I am happier now than I have ever been - and I would not trade what I feel now with my TF, for going back to "settling" for what I had....and, like you - others see me & my TF together, and can see the connection between us - I think they just get jealous, lol :)

yeah its because it makes them uncomfortable to see someone else that is willing to do what they truly wish they were strong enough to do themselves. so they try and rationalize why you should remain in a relationship that is no longer working for you so that they can somehow rationalize why they aren't following your lead. It ridiculous and really shows how few people on this planet really do have a strong sense of self worth self love.

As much pain as we feel going through this TF experience take comfort in the fact that you'll come out of this experience as a much stronger person than the vast majority of the people around you. We've been awakened while the rest of the planet sleeps.

Originally Posted by BeautifulLife

As much pain as we feel going through this TF experience take comfort in the fact that you'll come out of this experience as a much stronger person than the vast majority of the people around you. We've been awakened while the rest of the planet sleeps.

LOL - that's why I find myself looking at other people and their relationship and trying to figure out what their connection is to each other, SM, TF, karmic. It's almost like a game I play mentally. Maybe I need to quit thinking about it so much. If anyone knew they'd think I was nuts.

Originally Posted by ShiningStar

LOL - that's why I find myself looking at other people and their relationship and trying to figure out what their connection is to each other, SM, TF, karmic. It's almost like a game I play mentally. Maybe I need to quit thinking about it so much. If anyone knew they'd think I was nuts.

yeah buts its more like: SM, TF, Karmic or NORMAL


And lets be honest with ourselves. Could you ever even go back to a "normal" relationship again? At this stage in my life i"d rather take a roller coaster ride with another karmic soul mate than to live out a "vanilla" life. At least I"m learning and growing and all the while getting closer to my TF and the true source of love. It's almost pitty on my end since I know they'll never feel a connection this strong nor feel this close to the true source of love and happiness.

I was looking through some old emails from 5yrs ago when we my TF and I initially broke apart. I ran at first and pushed her away. She waited and kept trying for 4months till she finally accepted I wasn't going to leave my girlfriend for her and she called for a "break". After realizing what I might be losing I stopped dead in my tracks from running and started to chase again. This is one of my favorite lines from that time period in my life.


"Isn't it in both of our best interests to at least try and see if we have a chance instead of just walking away. I know I would be haunted for the rest of my life if I gave up on you. I'd never stop thinking about what could have been"