Questions About His Passing....

[MorpHnStorM]

Hello all,

New here. One of the things that brought me to this site was (aside from being very spiritually "sensitive"/"attuned") the questions I have regarding a recent loss (stepfather passed last Nov.). He too was a very spiritual person...gifted. He was in the hospital for 9 months fighting for his life after a botched surgery to treat colon cancer. He drew his last breathe on Nov. 1st, 2010 at 7:33am...the EXACT moment the sun rose (I checked the tide tables...). He even knew when he was going to go...I did too (when a thought came out of nowhere exactly one year before that "he is next..."), but I just couldn't accept it.

My question is this: hours (maybe 2-3) before he passed, I noticed that there were tears falling down his cheeks...He had been crying. and I have not gotten the impression that the were tears of joy...I honestly feel that while he was happy to be leaving the pain and suffering behind, he did not want to leave us (my Mother and fam)...Prior to his ordeal, he was a happy/content/active soul, though maybe restless (because deep down, I think he knew sometime before he was hospitalized). I'm sorry if this seems fragmented, it's hard to write about...Anyway, after he passed...gosh, this feeling is hard to describe, but it's the feeling you have when you know a spirit is following/with you, and I know he was. What I don't understand is why it felt the way it did, negative: I felt pressure, as if I was to do something, or had done something wrong...I can't describe it...Like he was breathing down my neck...scrutinizing me/my every move. It was so bad that I couldn't sleep with the lights off for a few weeks after for fear that I'd actually "see" him...It's been over a year and I still have don't have an answer. I've seen him in a dream once; he came home and everyone was so excited...we were having a welcome home celebration and he had the biggest smile on his face. He also immediately began joking/picking on me the way he used to. Other than this, I haven't seen/heard from him. My Mom has though.

I have asked him a number of times what was up and told him I'd like to see/speak to him, but nothing yet...I've also let him know that I am here if he wants to pass any messages along to those who are not as open/sensitive. I understand it may take some time, but I also realize that I may be blocked from hearing from him because of my emotions (however, this has not stopped me from keeping in touch with other spirits)... In the mean time, does anyone have any suggestions about the crying or the heavy feeling I had after he passed? I have some ideas, but I'd like to hear yours...

Thank you for listening.

Originally Posted by MorpHnStorM

Hello all,

New here. One of the things that brought me to this site was (aside from being very spiritually "sensitive"/"attuned") the questions I have regarding a recent loss (stepfather passed last Nov.). He too was a very spiritual person...gifted. He was in the hospital for 9 months fighting for his life after a botched surgery to treat colon cancer. He drew his last breathe on Nov. 1st, 2010 at 7:33am...the EXACT moment the sun rose (I checked the tide tables...). He even knew when he was going to go...I did too (when a thought came out of nowhere exactly one year before that "he is next..."), but I just couldn't accept it.

My question is this: hours (maybe 2-3) before he passed, I noticed that there were tears falling down his cheeks...He had been crying. and I have not gotten the impression that the were tears of joy...I honestly feel that while he was happy to be leaving the pain and suffering behind, he did not want to leave us (my Mother and fam)...Prior to his ordeal, he was a happy/content/active soul, though maybe restless (because deep down, I think he knew sometime before he was hospitalized). I'm sorry if this seems fragmented, it's hard to write about...Anyway, after he passed...gosh, this feeling is hard to describe, but it's the feeling you have when you know a spirit is following/with you, and I know he was. What I don't understand is why it felt the way it did, negative: I felt pressure, as if I was to do something, or had done something wrong...I can't describe it...Like he was breathing down my neck...scrutinizing me/my every move. It was so bad that I couldn't sleep with the lights off for a few weeks after for fear that I'd actually "see" him...It's been over a year and I still have don't have an answer. I've seen him in a dream once; he came home and everyone was so excited...we were having a welcome home celebration and he had the biggest smile on his face. He also immediately began joking/picking on me the way he used to. Other than this, I haven't seen/heard from him. My Mom has though.

I have asked him a number of times what was up and told him I'd like to see/speak to him, but nothing yet...I've also let him know that I am here if he wants to pass any messages along to those who are not as open/sensitive. I understand it may take some time, but I also realize that I may be blocked from hearing from him because of my emotions (however, this has not stopped me from keeping in touch with other spirits)... In the mean time, does anyone have any suggestions about the crying or the heavy feeling I had after he passed? I have some ideas, but I'd like to hear yours...

Thank you for listening.

Sorry about your loss and what seems to be some feeling of guilt/uncertainty that you have gone through.
Many things are possibe within intinity/infinitude.
As for spiritism; its not my area, as I think there is certainly some fraud and there is also the possibility of evil entities taking control of seances.
The fact that you mention being in touch with spirits, how? adds to the complexity of your enquiry.

From the sound of it, I'd have to wonder if he actually crossed over into the Light. The heavy feeling and scrutinizing your every move doesn't sound like the actions from a spirit who had crossed over into the Light. There should be nothing but love and understanding coming off of him if he had crossed over. Yet, the way you've described him while he was still alive, happy/content/active soul, doesn't sound like the kind of person who would stay behind, especially if he was as spiritual as you say. One would think he'd know better then to stay behind in a lower vibrational "emotionally negative" frequency.

But, you also said that he didn't want to leave his family behind. And that right there could be the key to the whole thing. Sometimes, souls just don't even realize that hanging around in that "emotionally negative" frequency/state of mind, only causes more harm then good. Harm for both them and who ever they're trying to no leave behind. They get sucked into all the negative emotions and can't seem to find a way out to save themselves. Since they're radiating out negative emotions all over the place, they also effect the living people they hang around. And 9 times out of 10, they don't even realize what's happening. But the truth is, all the reasons why they stay behind, can be addressed and managed much much better over in the Light, then it ever can be in whatever shade of gray frequency they're in.

So many of these souls don't even realize that they really can come back to see their family, friends and loved ones when ever they want to, after they've crossed over into the Light. Crossing over into the Light, is the way in which a soul can be healed from all the hurt, pain, poor treatment and negative emotions that have been endured throughout a lifetime. But it is not a cage which prevents you from ever seeing their loved ones again. It is imperative that all souls cross over into the Light, so they can no longer be stuck inside a downward spiral whirlpool of negative emotions, and so they will no longer be projecting all that negativity into the Earth plane where it effects people and locations around the world.

I know you're asking for help on what to do about the crying and heavy feelings, but I think I'd have to start out with suggesting letting him know what kind of a "negative" effect it's having on you, because he is not healed. And also let him know that he really can come back any time to be with the family. He's not leaving them behind, he's healing himself so he can be a better influence on them. Tell him that if he truly loves all of you that much to not want to leave the family, then he had got to get that healing done in order to provide all that love he still wants to give to all of you.

Do you know how to help a spirit cross over? If not, I can help you with understanding the basic process of it.

[MorpHnStorM]

Originally Posted by Saspian

Sorry about your loss and what seems to be some feeling of guilt/uncertainty that you have gone through.
Many things are possibe within intinity/infinitude.
As for spiritism; its not my area, as I think there is certainly some fraud and there is also the possibility of evil entities taking control of seances.
The fact that you mention being in touch with spirits, how? adds to the complexity of your enquiry.

They just come to me. It's something that just sort of happens (I don't do seances or anything like that, not into that stuff). I've only had experiences with a hand full that I know of, but it's the ones that I know of that make me wonder about the ones I didn't know of (didn't realize what was happening). I was one of those kids that had nightmares, and saw shadows and stuff when they were little...I was also told at the age of 11 yrs that I was "gifted" in that area by another medium. Didn't really think about it much up until almost 3 years ago. Most of the time it's only me sensing their presence. Despite numerous deaths of friends/loved ones over the last few years, I've only actually interacted with two, one of which I am bonded with, and whom is an almost constant presence. Both of them came to be as a result of a connection I wasn't completely aware of.

[MorpHnStorM]

Originally Posted by Trieah

From the sound of it, I'd have to wonder if he actually crossed over into the Light. The heavy feeling and scrutinizing your every move doesn't sound like the actions from a spirit who had crossed over into the Light. There should be nothing but love and understanding coming off of him if he had crossed over. Yet, the way you've described him while he was still alive, happy/content/active soul, doesn't sound like the kind of person who would stay behind, especially if he was as spiritual as you say. One would think he'd know better then to stay behind in a lower vibrational "emotionally negative" frequency.

But, you also said that he didn't want to leave his family behind. And that right there could be the key to the whole thing. Sometimes, souls just don't even realize that hanging around in that "emotionally negative" frequency/state of mind, only causes more harm then good. Harm for both them and who ever they're trying to no leave behind. They get sucked into all the negative emotions and can't seem to find a way out to save themselves. Since they're radiating out negative emotions all over the place, they also effect the living people they hang around. And 9 times out of 10, they don't even realize what's happening. But the truth is, all the reasons why they stay behind, can be addressed and managed much much better over in the Light, then it ever can be in whatever shade of gray frequency they're in.

So many of these souls don't even realize that they really can come back to see their family, friends and loved ones when ever they want to, after they've crossed over into the Light. Crossing over into the Light, is the way in which a soul can be healed from all the hurt, pain, poor treatment and negative emotions that have been endured throughout a lifetime. But it is not a cage which prevents you from ever seeing their loved ones again. It is imperative that all souls cross over into the Light, so they can no longer be stuck inside a downward spiral whirlpool of negative emotions, and so they will no longer be projecting all that negativity into the Earth plane where it effects people and locations around the world.

I know you're asking for help on what to do about the crying and heavy feelings, but I think I'd have to start out with suggesting letting him know what kind of a "negative" effect it's having on you, because he is not healed. And also let him know that he really can come back any time to be with the family. He's not leaving them behind, he's healing himself so he can be a better influence on them. Tell him that if he truly loves all of you that much to not want to leave the family, then he had got to get that healing done in order to provide all that love he still wants to give to all of you.

Do you know how to help a spirit cross over? If not, I can help you with understanding the basic process of it.

Thank you so much for your response, and the bold portion is very interesting. Yes, I too wondered if he had truly crossed over...

"But, you also said that he didn't want to leave his family behind. And that right there could be the key to the whole thing."

I think it is, and I think this is why he was crying before he took his final breathe. He was completely non-responsive and he was only hours from taking his final breathe when I noticed the tears. And like I said, I didn't have a good feeling about it (like he was crying out of joy). Now, he was excited about leaving the pain and suffering behind, and about going where he knew he was going, he said so himself. We had a family gathering to let him know that it was ok for him to go, we did all of that (not to mention my Mom constantly reminded him of that), so he had our blessings as well. He knew he was going to go, when, and where he was going to, but still...When it came down to it, I feel like those tears were because he didn't want to leave us, or most specifically, my Mom (and at that point, only her presence was most important). And you're right, it is normally a pleasant/positive feeling/experience when a spirit passes over. I have felt that.

I think perhaps that by now he has, just based on certain things (no longer feel the heaviness/that presence, a dream my Mother had), but I just don't know. The negative/heaviness seemed to dissipate over only a few weeks, but I want to know for certain that it's not because I have blocked that out. I think I am only left with my grief now. I want to say that I have indeed sensed his presence in a positive way since, bu again, I am not sure. There is still so much that I have to learn for me to really know. At this point I just want to know for certain that he is ok, but either my emotions are blocking that, or he just simply hasn't made it back to me yet (and that's if he has plans on visiting me). I went yesterday, for a visit with someone who was very dear to him. She was basically a second Mother to him, and she says that she knows he is around...She senses him. And as far as my Mom is concerned, well I just assumed that he would "come back" for her because they were connected like that. What I didn't know is if she was open enough to experience that, and I just simply offered to be open for him if she was not. It seems she is, so I'm not worried about that anymore. (btw, she also reported that uneasy feeling in the beginning, I will have to ask her some questions about that now).

At this point, I guess to sum it all up, I just want closure. I'm sorry if this all seems jumbled/back and forth, but this is what has happened over the last year+. I just haven't really had anyone to talk/open up to regarding this aspect loss. I talk to my Mom about it occasionally, but never really opened up to her about this aspect of it. Most of the time I am just checking in with her, and most talk regarding him in general, is reminiscing.

And to answer your last question, yes. I really, really do. I've had the idea in my head, since his passing, that I might want to go do work in hospice to do just that.

When you go into your zone that you use to connect with the spirit realm, or if as you say they just come to you, try relaxing and simply ask if he is ok.

I always protect myself and state clearly that I only communicate with good spirits of the light first.

You should receive an answer to your question, I do not think that being emotional prevents contact, not in my experience anyway.

The heaviness could have been through him, a heaviness of the heart as he didnt want to leave his family, or it possibly emanated from you, maybe some fear or resistance to the spirit coming to you, sometimes these visits can take us by surprise even when you have communicated with spirit before.

I hope you manage to work it out and that your stepfather has found peace :-)

SoulSparkles

if you don't mind my asking, how old are you? when my dad died, i was young (age 22) and there was not peace between us, the way there often isn't, if your parent passes during your turbulent years of youth, before you become an adult, and realize, right or wrong, our parents did their best. i was so sick after my dad died, i kept thinking his spirit was after me. i would crawl in bed with my mom, it was so scarey. well, i got in therapy, and the psychologist said, this was common to happen, when a daughter loses her dad, to feel his spirit is after her.

[MorpHnStorM]

Just want to thank you all for your responses, think I've found my answer.

Hi Morph,

I know you remember me because of the few messages we have had. Its good to see you posting on here. I'm glad to see you found answers you have been seeking. What I wanted to say is that first of all, all the other posts were great and I can say that after interacting with some spirits, it is easy to tell which ones have crossed over and which ones haven't because negative emotions hover around the ones that haven't. Those spirits have to go into the light and its not something we can push them to do, they have to want to do that on their own.It is a process that only they can go through. I had one spirit around me (she no longer is) who was not ready to go at all and she wrestled with a lot of anger over that. I had to remind myself to not take things personally and that it had nothing to do with me, but the circumstances of her passing. Similarly with you, it was very likely the same thing. It had nothing to do with you.

I imagine he was grateful to be free from the pain you mentioned but the negative emotions you felt might have had more to do with the fact that he might not have had a chance to properly say goodbye to everyone. Sometimes spirits linger on the earth plane because of unfinished business too.

Hi

If you want to know more about other side, i recomend Mrs Wanda Pratnicka book. 'Possessed by Ghosts' She is exorcist and i think she know a lot about it.