Astral children?

[Izz]

You're welcome. Sorry asearcher my PMs might have made your inbox full again. I'm in one of those "fogs" I talked about before but breaking away from it

What, I just deleted, what is this? I will try again, I'm sorry it was full (again). And too that you are in a fog right now. It will pass. I think you need to as soon as you can find distance, to cut away from it and not get ready for the next fight you know, that is how I have felt it with the narc in law, that I have this anticipation-nervousness, anxiety or what ever - just knowing I have to see this person who I know has done and is doing so much damage to it's own family and to our relationship and i have to pretend everything is just fine. We have talked about it and my luv has said that I have to leave it up to him, that if the narc says something then my luv will respond to it, that I won't have to say anything. My luv says it is not worth it loosing all that energy over someone with a damaged mind, that we know we are better people than what that someone tries to portrait us as. And I know when I am in this anticipated mood, getting ready for battle that I go back in time and think about everything in the past and all the tactics etc. And meanwhile I cut loose from my luv, I withdraw and he can tell I am doing this, almost as if I am blaming him for it. He just keep saying "I got this. You have to trust me that I got this. You don't have to say or do anything". Do you have someone close by you you think that could step in and help you with this?

I know of someone else too in the family that has said that it is is afraid that if it explodes at the narc then it is going to be an explosion or rage like no other and don't want that to happen. I have to remind myself this is not my first family. My luv need to adress this. Now. I have known other family member (from the outside) telling us "Keep that ... (narc) away from me!". So I am not alone and it is just such a relief really to know I am at least not alone.

The bad thing too about narcissism is that once you have exhausted yourself making one point, they still don't give up as they have not learned and then they do the same or similar thing the very next minute. This why as soon as you can get away - .get away or learn to shield yourself somehow. I know it is not easy. Like my face for instance - always obvious my true feelings and a narc likes that. It likes to see that it has been able to trigger something. My luv - you can't even tell somehow what he is thinking, he has closed down, he is this grey stone. He is not connected, sadly he would also disconnect from me and that was what I found scary before and he was not even aware he was doing it. Now he knows. Is there someone in your family who can take over when it gets too much for you? Wishing you all the best with this :)

If there is no one in your family than do you have a friend or partner who you can go to and just stay away from the narc/s really? Breathing room?

[Izz]

Originally Posted by asearcher

My luv need to adress this. Now. I have known other family member (from the outside) telling us "Keep that ... (narc) away from me!". So I am not alone and it is just such a relief really to know I am at least not alone

Yeah I understand

The confusion fog just comes on occasions despite already having the logical ground that it's wrong

Narcs have this in common : attempting a world versus us mentality that's unhealthy. As if it's "logical" that everyone else is wrong, bad, has ulterior motives EXCEPT them

Also I need to once again learn to keep a lot of things to JUST MYSELF. Even reconnecting with a relative set off alarm bells for narcs and it even made me lose mood to reconnect although that particular relative I wanted to connect with did nothing wrong

[Izz]

The bad thing too about narcissism is that once you have exhausted yourself making one point, they still don't give up as they have not learned and then they do the same or similar thing the very next minute

Logically one needs to know a narc's world has certain delusions and illusions (for example the illusion that the victim is lesser worth thus deserves constant bashing). It a step to dismantling the confusion fog but it could take time for the emotions to catch up with the logic - esp when one had been victimized by the narc