It is difficult...very difficult to see or think of oneself as being 'God' when they have received a direct, external validation and reinforcement from the 'Great Deva' himself! How can I, a mere humble mortal, ever compare to that?
I have tried to be accommodating to those who tell me that "I am Shiva" or "Shiva is just a state of consciousness and not a true being" and all I could say was "please tell that to the God who just blessed me with his darshan".
Then they will say "you didn't really see anything, you only imagined it" or "your belief makes it so" or "it was only a dream" and I am like "and you, who did not
personally experience it, can say with 100% certainty this is the case?" and they say "yes, I can" and I just laugh out loud.
Still, I was quite perplexed. How can a few people on this forum not see Shiva as a God outside of themselves and if they admit to being God themselves, why say it is Shiva (Shivoham)? Why not just call it 'Flying Spaghetti Monster' or be done with giving 'God' any title whatsoever?...so
something must have existed as being a 'Shiva' for people to equate the name/ideal with a state of consciousness, right? I mean, it's only logical, or else everything would just be 'Flying Spaghetti Monster' or 'Invisible Pink Unicorn' or else have no labels/names at all - aka Taoism.
I was much relieved to discover this "I am God" thing is basically an internet pandemic where anonymity allows one to say anything at all without it translating into 'real life' whatsoever.
As for asking the universe 'please explain?'...the universe provided me with answers whilst I was watching "Ancient Aliens - Shiva the Destroyer" and the episode began by saying that millions of Hindus believe that Lord Shiva is a living entity who once walked and continues to walk the face of this planet!.... YAY!! I am not alone!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvtvZKMLA3k
As far as I am aware, Lord Shiva (Ashtaroth, Hermes Trismegistus) is a Divine, Celestial Being who is the founder/leader of the Sananda Initiative which became translated as Sanatana Dharma or...Hinduism. He brought to the human population the Vedic knowledge of Yoga and Brahman - the notion of unity with a Cosmic Consciousness existing separate from the ego and He has even said to me; "I am Brahman, you are Brahman, but I am not you by way of direct causality". Thus, His formless representation as Sadashiva (beyond Shiva) is equatable to Brahman without Mayaic/Sagun inference. His form as Maharajah Dewata (Mahadeva) is that which I perceive, but it still exists as being relative to me and the soul within (jiva).
So, the documentary went on to say that Shiva came from another planet/different dimension (perhaps in the constellation of Taurus from my summation) and the portals to that dimension can be found at Mt. Kailash and also under the Allora Caves and one may also exist at Arunachala. So it became that a God could share the same name as a state of consciousness which also represented him at a level beyond the existential. It also boils down, essentially, to non-being anyway. I have realised Brahman for myself and could not say "I am God". All I got from that blissful experience was "God is everything/everywhere and I don't even exist at that level".
So now, whenever people say "I am that" or "I am God" it all sounds like they are very happy chewing on mental chewing gum in regards to it all, still stuck in subject/object duality land.
Don't get me wrong, I worship Lord Shiva in full-on duality myself while my heart chews gum, but saying "I am God" or even "I love God" is still an illusion nonetheless when saying "God IS" is closer to the ultimate truth of the whole matter. No "I" gets involved whatsoever and I can only achieve that state through the loving worship of Lord Shiva who does exist as a Divine Being (which gets translated into "God" by humans) apart or separate from who/what "I" am.
Saying that "I am God" is like saying that a lump of coal is a diamond because they are both made up of carbon atoms. That a drop of water is the ocean because both are comprised of H2O molecules...that a grain of sand is the whole beach and that a star is the entire universe and yet, it's only at the smallest representational level the human mind can fathom the unfathomable. Thus the mind cannot and will never be able to transcend itself and this is where grace and unconditional love gets involved in the equation.
So, at the moment I am in full-on worship of the Shiva Lingam as being representative of Shiva's cosmic energies, with Lord Shiva being the Atma Lingam (Image of the Soul) to try and slowly distance myself from full-on physical representation in total alignment with my Tantric Agama lineage and heritage and the realisation that the Jyotir Lingam (Image of Light) is my truest inner-nature. This is totally independent to the historical form of a living Deity, although the Deity (Ishvara) will still be loved and fully acknowledged as being thus. While ever we are in human form, any association with a manifest Divinity will be inevitable as being who 'we are' or who 'we are not'.
There is another realisation/problem my ego is facing much greater than "I am God". That's nothing after being told that I am the living Goddess! I am Kali...Parvati incarnated! I'm like "NO WAY!...can't BE!...the scriptures never foretold this!...I am nowhere near as pious as Sati...nowhere near as brave as Durga...NO! just NO!!!" I really don't like this explanation, even though it explains a hell of a lot of what has happened throughout my whole life. So I approached Shiva with it and he said that I epitomise Maya Shakti, both in essence (kundalini) and also in action (kriya) and I am performing his will with all of the love that only his true Goddess can have. That makes me feel a little better, but still not totally at ease with it.
Meanwhile, I'm still trying to get my head around the Shiva Lingam representing an ancient nuclear reactor which needs to be 'cooled down' by regular abhishek, the Nataraja statue at Cern, Switzerland representing the Higgs-Boson particle and the saint Theravada travelling to Greece and given the name Therapius and hence where the English word 'therapy' comes from...and my poor mind is saying "ENOUGH, Necro! or you will need it!!!". lol
Yeah, the human mind just wasn't meant to know this much.