Sometimes I can't connect with people, it's like I'm surrounded by a big fuzzy cloud.

[sparrowsparrow]

I'm in the process of working on my relationships with people. When I was younger, about six/seven years ago (I'm twenty now), I used to be really confident, I had lots of friends and I loved being around people. I had a small tendency to shyness but it wasn't a big deal. But these past seven years or so, more times than not I've been quite an anxious, depressed and awkward person and my social interactions have significantly decreased.

I've been focusing on the memories and the feelings of being at ease and having fun with people all those years ago. I'm quite into the law of attraction so I'm hoping I can attract those experiences back to me, I keep saying to myself I've just forgotten how to communicate properly, it's in my brain somewhere but it's just lost it's way!

This is working out great for me and I'm feeling a shift already in how I'm communicating and how people are reacting to me. But there just seems to be this dark lingering cloud that positive reinforcement alone isn't shifting. It's almost like I can't listen to people or connect with them, it's like there's this amazing human being with a soul and hundreds of life stories standing right in front of me and I just seem to be a bit vacant. I'm aware of it, so I guess thats a step.

I'd just appreciate some wise words or processes that will help me connect with human beings again. I guess anxiety can make you a bit self absorbed (not in a bad way) but your always thinking about yourself so it's hard to concentrate on the other person. I don't know where I went wrong from being a vibrant, charming young lady to feeling like a grumpy isolated old woman!

[Miss Hepburn]

You know, sparrow, I find life to be extremely simple.

If you are having issues like this, this would be my motherly advice...
You will always be on course by being kind to others first and foremost.

Put a smile on your face each morning and decide you will be a help
and an uplifter in
some way to everyone you meet.
It may be as simple as saying, "That is a really good color on you."

Do this everyday of your life. Be someone that has only kind words for everyone, always.
Your focus will move off of yourself and anxiety will disappear.
Do this for a week as an experiment.

Then, you will see how your life becomes a pure joy.

Good luck, honey...you have a very good heart.

[Faith33]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

You know, sparrow, I find life to be extremely simple.

If you are having issues like this, this would be my motherly advice...
You will always be on course by being kind to others first and foremost.

Put a smile on your face each morning and decide you will be a help
and an uplifter in
some way to everyone you meet.
It may be as simple as saying, "That is a really good color on you."

Do this everyday of your life. Be someone that has only kind words for everyone, always.
Your focus will move off of yourself and anxiety will disappear.
Do this for a week as an experiment.

Then, you will see how your life becomes a pure joy.

Good luck, honey...you have a very good heart.

This is great advice, Miss H.
I've been living in this area for the past 10 years now and have never really made friends with the people because I don't care to mingle with them, for my own personal reasons....this not meaning that we aren't civil and kind to one another, just that I have drawn my boundaries .
There's a little general store around the corner which I visit once in a while when I need a certain item. Well, the owner of the store, a woman close to my age, has always had an expression of contempt on her face, therefore we never exchanged more than a hello and thank you all these years. In and out like the bandit I went.

A few days ago, I decided to really talk to her...ask her how her day was going and how she was feeling.
That's all it took to have this woman pour her broken heart out to me....it was very cathartic for both of us.
Into our conversation, we also discovered that we had many common interests...who would have known?

Turns out, our little talk did wonders for her and she happily reported back to me, handling a certain situation from a different perspective, which really paid off. The last time I saw her, she was actually smiling! I couldn't believe it...

I've probably run off topic here? but wanted to point out, through my own experience what wonders a few kind words (from the heart) can do and the difference they can make...

[sparrowsparrow]

Thank you Miss Hepburn, that is really helpful, I already feel better about the situation and I actually feel really excited about trying out your advice, thank you :)

Thanks for your story Hope, it really shows how kindness and openness can change the dynamic between individuals.

Woo I feel really loved up right now, I just want to spread love haha

[Faith33]

Originally Posted by sparrowsparrow

Woo I feel really loved up right now, I just want to spread love haha

Aww, may you stay in that place forever!
Isn't it awesome?!

(((hugs))) to you.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Hope33

Aww, may you stay in that place forever!
Isn't it awesome?!

(((hugs))) to you.

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sparrow,

Miss Hepburn and Hope have already given you great advice and examples for working this in an external / behavioral fashion.

There is another aspect to consider. Sometimes, as you become more self-aware, things may bubble up from your subconscious mind. There are very few people who experience a perfect childhood and/or early adulthood. There could be a traumatic event trying to get your attention and heal it.

There are multiple forms of conventional psychotherapy that may help, but one simple (and inexpensive) alternative is to use meditation to help clear the junk from your internal hard drive. It takes time and patience, but coupled with the advice you already got, it may help prevent a recurrence in the future.

Good luck!

[sparrowsparrow]

Thank you Jillian, meditation and relaxation techniques have helped me alot. This issue used to be much worse, I would hide away and have a defensive air about me but having meditated for about four years now it's helped disperse whatever was going on. Thanks for reinforcing that for me, sometimes I forget the power of simply going within.