Need Advice Please. I’m Done Chasing...

JFelix96 · #1 22-07-2018, 11:21 PM

I guess I’ve always been the chaser in this relationship because I'm more spiritually enlightened than she is. For background, we are both spiritual and we both believe we are each other’s Twin, but I picked up from her Spiritual beliefs and beliefs on relationships that she isn't as spiritually enlightened nor does she understand the severity, significance, or purpose of a twin flame relationship.
I think her ego is currently blocking our twin flame union. Her friend hooked her up with a guy who is "her type" and they just recently got into a relationship after talking for 2 months. Now i understand "not all twins have to be together in a relationship". But even on a friendship level, her focus on her boyfriend has caused our talking to stop. We used to talk all day everyday, we slept on the phone together and continued talking when we woke up. My upset has caused about 1 argument and 2 awkward moments between us. There's just no way to make her understand what she is doing to our relationship, that we are still not in full union, and that our relationship is dying without sounding like an ******* or sounding like I'm being possessive of her. I know she feels bad and guilty because she's told me, but she doesn’t know why exactly so she seems to ignore the feeling and continue being with him anyway. I dropped off a letter to her house that I wrote for her birthday and my own crystal. It made her sad, so I guess this made her realize something, but this was my last attempt at getting her to "wake up". I also texted her this morning asking her if she still believes we are twin flames, she said yes and asked why, but I just dropped what was on my mind and let her continue her day. So I'm done. If she wants to come back I'll be here, but she never really starts conversations anymore and whatever conversations we do have are very short and don’t pogress anything so I'm not gonna talk to her either. I love her, but unrequited love is very humiliating to deal with, especially when you get dropped for someone the other person only knew for 2 months

FairyCrystal · #2 23-07-2018, 12:26 AM

What do you need advice on?
She doesn't want a relationship with you and is moving on with someone else. You're done chasing. Then that's it. So what do you need advice on exactly?
Feeling humiliated is ego. Feeling rejected is ego. Not being able to accept she's moving on and not willing to be in relationship with you is ego.
The biggest lesson of TFs is to learn to overcome ego issues. Which is anything to do with insecurities, low self-esteem, fear of not being good enough, rejection and so on and so forth.
So the best thing to do is to let this go, work on your issues, focus on other things than her and TF stuff. Meaning no reading, talking and preferably not posting about TF stuff anymore. You have to shift your focus. Start focusing on something else, something that makes you happy.
You say you are more spiritually enlightened, then you know and understand that to love someone is to set them free. Not easy, but that is love. The purest form of love, as it is unconditional, not claiming, not expecting.
If something is meant for you, it will either stay or come back. Let it go and go about your life. It's okay to need time for this, but do begin wtih focusing on other things.

JFelix96 · #3 23-07-2018, 12:41 AM

You know, it’s not really what I wanted to hear but it’s probably the best advice I’ve ever received

Brucely · #4 23-07-2018, 12:57 AM

If you truly are TF then you shouldnt care what she does, even if thats dating someone. Maybe she doesnt want a super intense spiritual relationship at the moment. Im guessing youre both young. Go have some experiences before you get committed. Dont give her dilemmas or awkward situations, youll just make yourself worse. Be happy shes getting what she wants.

Eternal Flame · #5 23-07-2018, 02:01 AM

If you are Twin Flames, then you are going into separation mode.

Also if you are Twin Flames, then you aren't done chasing. lol. You feel you are done right now, but that chasing will be happening in the heart.

However in the 3D you need to be more of a cool character. Let her go. Your heart can still chase, but your mind can be in control.

I'm in a similar situation. Also gone through so many 'I'm done' moments.

Just start living your life. Let her be.

This sort of experience, should be motivating a spiritual awakening.

You still have so much learning to do while alive on this planet :)

#6 23-07-2018, 07:23 AM

It honestly sounds like she doesn't want a relationship with you. You speak about being more spiritually enlightened and yet chasing becomes obsessive and delusional. Could this be happening?

Just my views but the concept of twin flame is far from the norm in relationships. It seems to come with a sense of possession which is spiritually quite unhealthy. You can't own someone's emotions or being generally. Wouldn't it be more spiritually enlightening to see her as a being in her own right, to love her unconditionally - (i.e. attach no conditions to your regard for her) and to be happy for her as she is?

Remember, twin flame is just a belief and a very minority one at that. Look at all the implications that come with it. Perhaps she doesn't want them. Relationships are never static. Perhaps it's time simply to let her go and look for new friends. As someone once said here "there are plenty of fish in the sea" and while it'll take some reorientation on your part you are now free to go mix among them. You're 21. It really doesn't seem worth frittering a lifetime waiting around / chasing.

At 21, anyone would have had a hard time pinning me down to a committed relationship no matter how it was labeled.

happyhaunts03 · #7 23-07-2018, 04:25 PM

Twin flames don't always work well in relationships, at least in my experience. I ran from my TF in a very similar manner to what you're describing, so I have some insight into this. Give her the separation. Give yourself the separation. She will be ready when she's ready, or never. But, forcing something she doesn't want or isn't ready for yet won't get you anywhere. You're relationship isn't dying. TF relationships don't work that way. You just need time apart to grow and realize your joint purpose, which may or may not be in physical union. Good luck.