Life Is Starting To Suck!!

O.K. Chakajo72...

Please take yourself to the Doctor immediately. You sound depressed and suicidal to me. This is not the time to talk about spiritual stuff.

Wake up folks! This person is alluding to self-injury and suicide!

Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that can and does lead to suicide. You need to get help now. Go to your Doctor immediately and if you can't get an appt. Go to the E.R. Tell them how you are feeling and the suicide ideation. They will help you. You may have to take meds until you are pulled out of the depression but the time to ACT is NOW. They will help you stabilize.

I am really astounded by the lack of judgement in the posters on this thread! Sorry, I usually don't get upset like this but this person is crying out for real help.

[Sarian]

Windwhistle, quite honestly, I've been there and I took myself to the doctor and then began 10 years of being a guinea pig to various anti-depressants and drug cocktails that for ME at least, made my life even worse. I think it would be a good thing for Chakajo to speak with someone, but I'm not big on drug recommendation, although they do help some. (yeah, and I want to be a nurse)...I don't have a lack of judgement, but my own first hand experience and the best help that I got? When I stopped handing my life over others and took control of MY life myself...be it my spouse and even doctors who really didn't care, just prescribed drugs while giving me sappy post it note advice to remind me that I was worthwhile, I AM a nice person, blah, blah, blah... I got good and angry at things and situations and even myself...

When I used to see a shrink, he finally, after ten years said I was drug -resistant...then recommended ECT...wow....what a blast that was..., then more drugs, then in-patient ECT instead of outpatient. Now that may make me sound crazy, but I'm not...and it took a med-student to see that. When I took control of my life again, took MY life BACK, that's when life started to come back in a positive way again. Maybe Chakajo has to take tighter reigns of his life...take some proactive steps, and although at times it's hard to not think the negative things, I know this from experience, keep walking forward, keep thinking and doing the positive despite all the **** that may get thrown your way. Even when you fall on your face or feel hopeless, keep moving forward, even if it hurts because in the long run, you will be so glad and so grateful you did.

While life is sacred, so too is the freedom to decide whether one lives or dies. But before anyone decides to take their own life they should examine themselves to see what their true motives are. If It's a quality of life issue like terminal cancer or a decaying mind as in Alzheimer's, then I have the utmost sympathy and understanding. If there's no true quality of life issue, then we really need to sit down, look in the mirror, and ask if we can live with the fact that our final act, the one that will define us for eternity, is an act of cowardice. If you're lucky, you get to reincarnate to face the same issue and get a second chance at making a different choice. I think anyone should be free to decide the course of their own life, but before they make that choice I think they should have to look at all the possible alternatives and consider whether or not they can live an eternity with the character of that last act hanging over their head.

This is not the time to discuss whether one is for meds or not. This person needs help now, Sarian! This person is suicidal.

It's like screaming , "I'm never having another baby...while you are in the delivery room." in other words when a person is in so much pain...probably not a good adea for family planning.

Right now, Chakajo may need meds until he/she gets stable. After a period of stability with no more suicidal thoughts and thoughts to self injure...then they can decide what course of action to take. But if a person is deeply depressed they may need some help to climb out BEFORE they begin to think about what they want to do as a treatment plan. People who are severely depressed are not thinking rationally anyway!

I'm neither for or against meds. I've seen meds do wnders for myself...then I've had difficulties with them. At times, meds have saved my life. At other times, once I was stable...I decided to go off of them and now I am well.

But when someone is SUICIDAL it's not the time to discuss your own personal history and opinions of medication! This person needs to get help!

I have felt that before and it drove me insane. Once I realized that it was all in my head, it went away. I suggest you do the same thing before it drives you insane.

Windwhistle, we don't even know what the truth of the matter is. At this point we're all projecting. The only thing that could even be interpreted towards being suicidal is the comment of "If I have nothing left, then I would choose to return home" as vague as that is. I was the one that speculated it meant possibly being suicide. And now that speculation has evoked a lot of concern out of others.

I can hear your passion in what you're saying. This issue is obviously hitting home for you. What are the thoughts feelings and fears coming up for you? Do you not feel like people have a right to decide whether or not they want to continue living (regardless of what the law says)?

I'm outta' here.

Chakajo...I hope you get the help you need today. This is your thread...this is your life...

Be well.

[Lazarus72]

I think there's some good advice in both Windwhistle's and Sarians above posts. I agree that You should seek professional advice straight away, and medication/ counselling can help You.

However I also agree that any real change must come ultimately from within. Sounds like Your having a fight/flight response due to a bad run and are contemplating flight. Perhaps try to instigate some fight. Posting here as You've done could be viewed as a positive step in that direction, as well as seeking professional help as a next step. You must do this.

You are obviously in a bit of a negative thought pattern, My alarm clock plays up all the time... Check it's on 24hr time setting, or it has a habit of going off a 7pm instead of 7am !!! It's very annoying.

Chakajo get yourself to the doctor like windwhistle said. We're behind you all the way, the doctors can help you

Originally Posted by chakajo75

Hi,

Don't mean to be blunt, just the way I feel now. It seems like every time I try to do something or think about doing something, it gets sabotaged. Even one of my closest friends don't want to talk to me anymore, I did nothing to him. I bought a brand new alarm clock and set it to get up at a certain time, and it did not go off. I check like 3 times before I go to bed to make sure that it is set correctly. I am trying not to believe that this is spirit trying to hurt me and if it is, I don't know why. Do they want me to feel sad. I have basically cried everyday for no reason. I am trying to remain positive, but it's not working. Have had thoughts of hurting myself and crossing over. I never had feelings like this before. If they do not want to work with me, they can at any time go. Meditation is okay, I can feel different things happening. In meditation, it's nice, but that feeling does not translate to my every day life. Has anyone felt like spirit is trying to harm you or is this just **** that is coming up for me to deal with because I have not dealt with it before, or is this stuff from past lives. Any help is appreciated.

It is your subconscious!
Everything which stands in the way of the Peace and Love you desire needs to rise to the surface to be Overcome~

You must FACE each shadow that rises to re-claim the Power lost in it.

It is a SIGN that all is right when these shadows rise.

How else would you overcome?

How else would you be Free without first unshackling the chains which bind you?

"The Secret Of Letting Go by Guy Finley" will teach you a Mindfulness practice which will aid you.

It may get tougher before it becomes easy.

It took me 3 years to break the habitual mind patterns. Will you persist as long as it takes to be Free? If yes, then you will be Free. If No, you will be unrealized potential.