how do you heal from a narcissist?

[alexis.l.s.h]

sorry, but i need to talk about something dark for a minute. ive had to deal with a narcissistic father for years, ive yet to even come close to not fearing them. these people that seem to defy the laws of existence to me, how could they be?im still having to learn not to guard around everyone, to give people a second chance to have a relationship with me, even if they try to hurt me at first. i still struggle with forgiveness. how do you heal after being drained from narcissists?

Health, Healing and Happiness

[one-light]

Hi alexis.l.s.h I'm sorry to hear that, it makes my blood boil to hear parents treating their kids/youngsters like that... You will get some good support here, to talk it through... Is dad still with you on this earth, and do you still keep in touch, just a little more info about how it all makes you feel now, bit drained I expect but that will change, you'll get stronger, and people will respond and help here..

[inavalan]

Originally Posted by alexis.l.s.h

sorry, but i need to talk about something dark for a minute. ive had to deal with a narcissistic father for years, ive yet to even come close to not fearing them. these people that seem to defy the laws of existence to me, how could they be?im still having to learn not to guard around everyone, to give people a second chance to have a relationship with me, even if they try to hurt me at first. i still struggle with forgiveness. how do you heal after being drained from narcissists?

Health, Healing and Happiness

You have to be careful. Your experience formed you as you are now, and your judgement is affected by that. What you believe that means "to be healed", it is actually favorable to recreate the type of situation you want to run away from.

You wrote: "give people a second chance to have a relationship with me, even if they try to hurt me at first" This is wrong! Run away from people who hurt you. Don't justify their behavior.

Also, you have to be reasonable guarded when you deal with people, because people are as they are, some good, others bad, and you have to realize this early, and act accordingly.

You don't have to forgive everybody. Some things are forgivable, others aren't.

You have to be discerning.

You might need a good therapist.

[alexis.l.s.h]

hello one light,
yes very drained, and angry, and depressed, but mostly anxious and suspicious of everyone around me, he was the first but i unfortunately i have had many attacks by narcissists, career wise for instants. i have start to guard and close off, and it feels wrong to not connect with people. i worry my guides are disappointed in me.

health, healing and Happiness one-light

I think you are doing the right thing by keeping narcissits away from you but the way it comes across is at this point you feel you can not afford to loose more energy or risk getting hurt so you basically shut everyone off... it is very good that you have at least established that your dad is, was, a narcissist so if I were you I would if you have not already study the different types of narcissists there are out there (books, youtube clips for instance). Then more prepared I would start working towards seeing the signs of a narcissist, that way you can exclude those and let the right ones in. One reason why you can feel drained is because at this point you have become an introvert and you are not letting nobody in, so nobody with good energy is coming in to lift up your spirit, and we all need that I think, I don't think we are meant to live alone. You will then start to heal one step of a time.

[one-light]

Well its a good start alexis.l.s.h opening up and talking about it... By all means contact a good therapist as inavalan suggested if it makes 'you' feel better having someone local on your side... You are in the right place now, and I/we can help you here to rebuild - and before anyone says rebuild is not the right phrase, it is correct because several years ago I needed rebuilding as in mind/body at any rate... so we chat here, its nice to do this on the forum not in private messaging, this is good so others can benefit.

Good start opening up about it and we will rebuild you, thats me and you and others willing to help here... Slowly now we chat, this is my domain strength in mind and healing energy, 3 years study of it, and I teach it locally - it is there 'for you' we just have to access it...

Put the narcissists word to one side of your mind now - by all means have a look on u tube videos then to the back of your mind that word, new beginning starting today... get a diary and write it in, new beginning starting today - then get back to me/us on the forum... You should see some improvements very soon, because you now have someone on 'your side' - deep breaths now, feel yourself getting stronger day by day...

[Native spirit]

A person suffering with Narcisstic disorder are full of their own self importance no empathy etc,
I would sugest that you go for counseling .because you have suffered with its fall out because of your dad.
a talking therapy would work well for this.
in the mean time I will send Healing Thoughts to you.


Namaste

[Native spirit]

Please be aware that a Narcissist suffers from a mental health disorder
any advice given should reflect that.

Namaste

[one-light]

Thats fair comment from all here alexis.l.s.h - I would be interested to know how much stress is coming from others right now friends/family/job etc - this question is not asking how much stress is already in your mind, but 'if any' is coming from others around you - also how good is the support your getting from friends, if any that is....

[WildHairedWoman]

Originally Posted by alexis.l.s.h

sorry, but i need to talk about something dark for a minute. ive had to deal with a narcissistic father for years, ive yet to even come close to not fearing them.

I have a similar experience with my father and healing from the abuse involved leaving, ignoring him, confronting him and then just focusing on recognizing my triggers and defusing them.

My dad is in a nursing home and no one can go see him because of the virus. He doesn't have a phone in his room because the attorneys wouldn't pay for one. He hired them to take care of his finances because he thought his family was only after his money, not like attorneys are in business for charity (as if he was rich or something). Any way I was the only one to go see him before and that was on rare occasions. Narcissists have a way of alienating everyone so they are punishing themselves as well as anyone who wants to interact with them because when they really need help no one will come.

You have to get out of your psyche the idea that the one man who is supposed to love you no matter what, doesn't so you must be unlovable. That is not true, he doesn't love you because he can't, he can't even love himself so he has to make up a weird private world where everyone revolves around him and he gets ugly if you don't let him manipulate and control you. Let him get ugly, you can walk away. Get yourself into a position where you are not dependent on him for anything.

You have to find a way to think and feel about him in a way that makes you the one with the power. Nothing he says or does is personal, remember anything he says or does is not about you, it is about him, and you can walk away any time.

It has been a long road for me and I am still angry at my dad but it does not ruin my day anymore. I can talk to him if I feel like it and walk away knowing I am ok. You have to accept that you are strong and able to take care of yourself.

Blessings on your journey.