Do i move on or stay for the children?

[someguy92]

For start you must understand few important things...for start marriage is sacred, once you choose to be with someone it cannot be undone. Marriage is not just lets sign paper...you have TONS and TONS of time prior to marriage, to know the person deeply, but marriage is a vow. Vow is extremely potent power, thats why in the days of chivalry, vow was something sacred, its the ultimate power of will. Once you break your vow, you will never have the trust others have in you, you will loose your honor before family, God, friends. When you will be dying you will understand that honor is one of the important virtues of a man/woman...I have broke vow in my past life, vow to God and to this day I am paying the price.
Secondly, you have children...once you bring offspring into life, your life is over, finito. You cannot be selfish and sacrifice their innocent lifes for your pleasures. Your showtime is over, you had your chance. Have dignity and accept what you have sowed, dont try to get another garden, because the same problems will come again and again, until you will cope with them. Believe me, this is a challenge a test. You know deep iniside the truth, you know what is right, you know what to do. You are hearing and feeling what you want to, what your ego wants. You want freedom, yes I understand...but you must understand too, that freedom is illusion. We are dependant on others, we are all here to help eachother, to grow. We cannot do everything by ourselves, thats the point of being with others...to help eachother.
Thirdly...dont be obsessed with soulmate stuff...soulmate is just person who is at the same frequency of your soul, at your own soul level. There are tons of people on it...but from my experience..."love" doesnt exist, true love is illusionary concept of our egos, of our perfectionist mind. You said you care for him, you want him to be happy. You sacrificed your freedom for him and your children to be happy. THIS IS TRUE LOVE, this is what we strive for. Caring is the real love...There is no soul mate out there who will solve all your problems. There is no love at first sight that lasts without work and commitment. But there is someone out there worth fighting for. Not because they’re perfect, but because they’re imperfect in all the ways that are right for you. You compliment each other’s flaws in a way that allows your two spirits to unite and operate more efficiently as one.

You know what is right thing, you even wrote it...to stay with children and cooperate with your husband. You know it will be hard path, but you know that at the end lies the beautiful self realisation, that you know when you will face God in his heavenly court you can proudly say, yes I did what I done, I had problems, It was hard but I am proud what I did...you know many times, following your heart, doesnt mean following what your real you wants. Every relationship takes work and dedication, its not walk in park. But in the end you can see the fruit of your labor, working family. Every problem can be fixed, it just takes for you two to communicate. Tell him what you need, do you want some time alone...heck everyone needs time alone. Do you want more affection from him?? Tell him, he is not houddinni, if he doesnt see signals you have to kick a man to curb. But remember you have responsibility. Its your choice.

Someguy,
I noticed that you are only 22 yrs old.
I used to think about the marriage as you do when I was at your age.

As you go through more in depth relationships, breakups, and marriage itself, you would understand that a marriage, just like any relationship, is not so black and white. There are many grey areas.
Plus, you will be surprised how you change and how you react in a marital situation.

If you read the updates from the lightworker, she, her ex, and her kids are happy.
She was suicidal because she was so miserable before her divorce.
When a person stays in an unhappy marriage with lots of stress, the person's emotional, psychological, and physical healths are detrimentally destroyed.

It is not a happy situation for children neither to grow up with parents who are constantly fighting and unhappy. They will repeat and recreate the same unhappy family dynamics as grown ups.

In life, you have to find a balance.
Keeping a commitment is important but without destroying yourself.

[someguy92]

Nada, have you actually read what I wrote?? Maybe it was written poorly, I always had minor problems with grammar, even in my native language. Age doesnt matter, its just age of our bodies...and believe me some people in 18 years get tons of more experience than some 60 year olds who all did was work go home and eat...

Sadly, I know the ups and mainly downs of relationship. I know not everything is black and white, but you must understand few things. You cannot lie to yourself everything is ok, you must know the truth. There is TON and TON of time prior to marriage, where you can truly see if the relationship is worth the fight. You cannot chicken out, there is responsibility, your actions can have dire consequences...if you have backbone and some dignity you WONT let others suffer because of your foolishness. Yes I told we are all humans, there are hard times...but in the end its always worth the fight. Even when you dont get any reward, its always best to do the right thing. Yes life is about balance, you have to balance commitment with your personal space...but marriage is like a seal, once you seal thing you cannot go back. Finish all baggage before having kids or marriage...thats why there are so many divorces these days, people either chicken out or were foolish in the beginning.

Someguy,
I read you.
And what you wrote clearly indicates your social/cultural conditioning, but it absolutely lacks your own perspectives based on years of your own relationship experiences.
Someday, you will understand.
It can not be taught. It has to be experienced.
So good luck to your journey.

[someguy92]

I know there are exceptions, where man beats woman or cheating...those are the real reasons for divorce...yes I know people lie, decieve, they play the good guy, but when the seal is dealed, they change, they show true colours, I have experienced this too, but not in marriage way.

I dont understand what you want to say, but not all men are cowards you know. There are men who are still doing what should be done, but they are near extinct...

If they tell you to chose your children lives and yourself who do you chose, many mothers who say save my children but there even those who can chose to safe their own lives but the truth is it takes a great mother who stand by her child and watch her grow no matter what she goes through but that does not mean that there not those who abandon them. It takes someone who grew without mother when she is alive to know how important it is for the child to grow in his/ her mothers hands.
however what ever you chose i wish you luck.

Someguy, I really hope you never experience a bad marriage. I do not agree with you at all and if a suicidal person who is considering leaving a marriage (like i was) is reading this, your comments may just make them feel so guilty they may do something rash. Where's your compassion? Life changes, people change, I believe in a compassionate loving god. God's not going to punish 2 very young kids who stupidly married and then later divorced! I'm 100% happy with my decision and as ive said before goodluck to the people reading this thread, my thoughts and love are with you.

[alamode]

There is no such thing as marriage in the spiritual world. No such thing as families either. We're all just playing roles as actors here on earth. Divorce is no big deal in the spiritual world---it means nothing. Its just a man-made invented earthly illusion of a "forever" commitment, so in reality the commitment is non-existent in our real home.

Could not of said it better alamode, perfect!

I have been with my soulmate now for 1 & 1/2 years and I am incredibly happy! My life is perfect now and I know I 100% made the right decision to leave my unhappy marriage 