Can you keep negative people out?

[Sarian]

I have tried a half dozen times to come up with a title for this thread. I couldn't even decide which forum would be suitable for it. I know some very negative people in my life. They are extremely selfish, controlling, manipulative and hateful even. One is my soon to be ex, another is a woman I know. I'm dealing with the soon to be ex...but there is this woman and whenever I am around her (and there's others like this), but I experience all sorts of negative reactions myself... I try to rise above it, but she's so conniving and malicious at times and when she is jealous of someone, she's even worse. She expects the world to revolve around her.

I have lived in this area my whole life, she is here from another place, then moved back there, but came back. It seems she is everywhere now and I feel her negative energy. I know it's up to me to fight it and not let the person herself get under my skin, but I am failing miserably...

I love the land I live on, I am fighting to keep it and a half hour away is a lovely city with such a diversity of people and the energy is wonderful there. I feel happy to stroll around the streets there as opposed to most cities. It has a harmonic energy. There are certain places and people I am automatically drawn to...she's not one of them...this woman does not live close to this city, but has a job interview there. I feel sick inside.

Forgive my strong word, but I feel like she contaminates things. I had a sick feeling for a month now that she would come to this city...but I thought it's too far away from her, and when I heard this news yesterday, I felt heartsick.

Has anyone experienced these feelings around particular people and feel the need to steer clear...but I feel sick that she would get a job in this city. When she moved back, she began looking for jobs in my old hometown and I felt this repulsion within me and more confirmation to stay where I am.

I'm not fully understanding what I am feeling. I wish I could explain better. I found myself saying out loud many times "_____________ will not get the job in _______________." Is that wrong when you know someone carries much negative energy ? And if anyone may understand what I'm trying to say and can't find the words, can you help? My husband is the same for me...being in this house with him sucks the life out of me. It's just too oppressive and damaging.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Sarian

I have tried a half dozen times to come up with a title for this thread. I couldn't even decide which forum would be suitable for it. I know some very negative people in my life. They are extremely selfish, controlling, manipulative and hateful even. One is my soon to be ex, another is a woman I know. I'm dealing with the soon to be ex...but there is this woman and whenever I am around her (and there's others like this), but I experience all sorts of negative reactions myself... I try to rise above it, but she's so conniving and malicious at times and when she is jealous of someone, she's even worse. She expects the world to revolve around her.

I know lots of nasty people. I don't talk to them.

I have lived in this area my whole life, she is here from another place, then moved back there, but came back. It seems she is everywhere now and I feel her negative energy. I know it's up to me to fight it and not let the person herself get under my skin, but I am failing miserably...

That happens to me, but I have to avoid contact with them...

I love the land I live on, I am fighting to keep it and a half hour away is a lovely city with such a diversity of people and the energy is wonderful there. I feel happy to stroll around the streets there as opposed to most cities. It has a harmonic energy. There are certain places and people I am automatically drawn to...she's not one of them...this woman does not live close to this city, but has a job interview there. I feel sick inside.

Sometimes someone occupies my mind, and if I have to battle someone sometimes I lose sleep, but I do what I have to do swiftly and once it's sorted I leave it it behind, but not without some wounds of my own, which take some time and attention to heal.

Forgive my strong word, but I feel like she contaminates things. I had a sick feeling for a month now that she would come to this city...but I thought it's too far away from her, and when I heard this news yesterday, I felt heartsick.

Has anyone experienced these feelings around particular people and feel the need to steer clear...but I feel sick that she would get a job in this city. When she moved back, she began looking for jobs in my old hometown and I felt this repulsion within me and more confirmation to stay where I am.

I'm not fully understanding what I am feeling. I wish I could explain better. I found myself saying out loud many times "_____________ will not get the job in _______________." Is that wrong when you know someone carries much negative energy ? And if anyone may understand what I'm trying to say and can't find the words, can you help? My husband is the same for me...being in this house with him sucks the life out of me. It's just too oppressive and damaging.

I think whatever mess is there it has to be dealt with in a clinical fashion, not maliciously but in the way one cleans a toilet... just factually, no bitterness or personal temprament, it's just an unpleasant peice of work.

People I vie against tell lies to defame me and feel hatred inside them, and use emotional manipulation. They are very skilled, and are not soft hearted, so it takes resolution and persistance... to win... and you can't win them all.

One rule: Remain honourable.

[Sarian]

Thank you, Gem. I could relate to every word you wrote. I mostly do not talk to people like this, and even with my husband, he will try to engage me in a ****ing match, and I walk away and that upsets him a great deal. Although there have been times when I completely lost it because of his head games, and emotional games.

With this woman in particular, I chose to avoid her, but it is hard. She's put me in her scope of attack. I hear things, it's upsetting. She's extremely two faced. I met her years ago when I would go to church. Kind to your face as she's plunging the knife...sigh... I knew better to try and get along even with this person as I felt her bad energy the moment near to her, but I always give people the benefit of the doubt and second chances. Sometimes I think I am just a fool.

Your last few paragraphs is what I'm dealing with now...but yes, your rule: Stay honourable...how true and I will. Thank you, dear Gem :-)

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Sarian

Thank you, Gem. I could relate to every word you wrote. I mostly do not talk to people like this, and even with my husband, he will try to engage me in a ****ing match, and I walk away and that upsets him a great deal. Although there have been times when I completely lost it because of his head games, and emotional games.

With this woman in particular, I chose to avoid her, but it is hard. She's put me in her scope of attack. I hear things, it's upsetting. She's extremely two faced. I met her years ago when I would go to church. Kind to your face as she's plunging the knife...sigh... I knew better to try and get along even with this person as I felt her bad energy the moment near to her, but I always give people the benefit of the doubt and second chances. Sometimes I think I am just a fool.

Your last few paragraphs is what I'm dealing with now...but yes, your rule: Stay honourable...how true and I will. Thank you, dear Gem :-)

Things can be extraordinarily difficult... I fought everything my whole life, and spiritual people will pretend there some reason for that (karma LOA etc etc), but there isnt. People live by the gun and die by the gun, but others are just collateral damage, never even touched a gun. People play with fire and get burned and sometimes a volcano blows and just happens to burn everyone...

When the flood comes and washes away our house and everything, leaving us homeless and destitute, that's life, no reason for that.

Only humans do things for a reason, invent reasons.

I understand this is difficult, people are unkind, so my heart goes with you Sarian...

Originally Posted by Sarian

Thank you, Gem. I could relate to every word you wrote. I mostly do not talk to people like this, and even with my husband, he will try to engage me in a ****ing match, and I walk away and that upsets him a great deal. Although there have been times when I completely lost it because of his head games, and emotional games.

With this woman in particular, I chose to avoid her, but it is hard. She's put me in her scope of attack. I hear things, it's upsetting. She's extremely two faced. I met her years ago when I would go to church. Kind to your face as she's plunging the knife...sigh... I knew better to try and get along even with this person as I felt her bad energy the moment near to her, but I always give people the benefit of the doubt and second chances. Sometimes I think I am just a fool.

Your last few paragraphs is what I'm dealing with now...but yes, your rule: Stay honourable...how true and I will. Thank you, dear Gem :-)

hi Sarian,

do not give your energy away -- it feeds directly into the negativity which grows tenfold. your energy is the food source for any negativity around you. as gently as i can share, the more one feeds negativity, the more negativity surrounds you. easier said than done right...pray for Divine Wisdom and Guidance and continue sharing. you will receive many words of wisdom.

healing light and prayers for your journey...

grateful,
truthseeker58

Yep, remain honorable. =) And don't give your power away by being defensive.

I understand what you mean and how you feel, Sarian.

It took a long time, but I've learned that it is easy to be blunt and calm, rather than to wait until the situation escalates or until I get frustrated with their behavior or they with my own....etc.

I state to people exactly what I see in them (just my point of view, nothing malicious and certainly no foul language or name calling,) why I dislike what I see in them (or in the way they behave)and then I ask them whether they are ever planning to change their behavior so that they can cooperate with me and vice versa, so we can both/all have a good time.

If they refuse to be flexible and try to at least be nice or at least agree to disagree, I simply tell them that I would rather not be in their presence any longer because they are being disrespectful of my wishes and that I hope they live a fine life.

If they decide to apologize and make an effort, then I would happily let them back into my life.

If they back stab and gossip about me, then it's time to be defensive and, if the situation truly calls for it, speak my mind and be honest and harsh.

Hi Sarian!
I can relate to everything you've said in your posts! I would say I've experienced what your describing aswell.

I can tell your trying not to react angrily... but how can you when your faced with so much provacation? You've described them as manipulative, that's the hallmark of the psychopath/narcisist in my opinion... most of us are NOT manipulative or controlling.. they might be liars and thieves, but they are not manipulative

Narcisists tend to point a lot with their hands, does your ex husband do aggressive pointing? (a lot of the rich and famous point a lot..)

Watch this vid... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0Ra4vjM7dY

All I'll say for now is don't lock horns with them! Don't get pulled into their game... I know it's incredibly difficult when faced with people who are so manipulative and domineering but...

Their need is to exercise power over others and be the ones who 'win in every category' and they use every underhanded immoral means to achieve it. - This is LITERALLY why they are doing it to you. They have a need within them appear as the successful ones.

Most of us can't comprehend that there are people who think so highly of themsleves that they expect entire nations to give them the countries riches, die in wars for them, and roll out the red carpet wherever they may go.

Is there really people who hold such ridiculous beliefs about themselves? YES THERE IS! They're called narcissists, and they've caused more chaos death and destruction in this world than we can even comprehend!

Yet they view themselves as the 'better human' and they want us to acknowledge that they are the better human. A bizarre state of affairs eh? I reckon it's quite true though..

This might help you aswell.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UzqmvEngPo

Honestly, I feel you are overreacting to this woman.

Treat her as a gift. Use her (and others like her) to thicken your skin.

In the words of the Dalai Lama: "your worst enemy is your best friend."

I really don't recomend the affirmation idea as it kind of sounds a bit like revenge but you might want to consider some psychic defence ideas.

I know exactly how you feel and the way I deal with people like this is to:
Send them divine love and light and look beyond their ego; know that underneath their ego, they are made of love and so are you - you are one.
Whenever you experience something about these people which annoys you or frustrates, imagine you are invisible and that these energies just pass through you. When you pay attention to them, and think about them, your thoughts will be confirmed by the universe - if you find them annoying, they will annoy you more.

Hope that all makes sense