I'm Not Perfect

[MOLA]

Hello.

If there is always one thing that I notice from almost everyone that I've ever come in contact with is that they have this funny perception in their mind that I'm somewhat perfect.

The question is, why? Why does everyone assume I'm perfect? Why does everyone assume that I can do everything, all at the same time? Why does everyone place the blame on me? Why all of this pressure? How come I can't just blend in the crowd and have it easy like most people?

The above is pretty much what my heart is yelling out from the inside. No matter where it is, at work, at home or even with a loved one, the same thing seems to happen to me; they assume that I am perfect and whenever I make a mistake, it seems like the end of the world. Why am I not allowed the privilege of making a mistake? Why am I assumed to be perfect?

And no. This isn't a mindset or a LOA type of thing. I try to be as relaxed and laid back as possible on a daily basis but it seems whenever I legitimately make a mistake, no matter how small or big, everyone seems to pressure me into thinking I made a fatal mistake.

This drives me crazy.

Has anyone been in similar situation? I need insights on how to deal with this because its very confusing at times.

[Glacier Serenade]

Well, the thing is people do make the wrong assumptions about others all the time. Maybe, seeing this is clearly irritating you, you could make a clear statement that you aren't perfect. I assume most would understand.

[Dude]

I don't know if this will be helpful at all, but from their perspective they could just choose to see the best in people, they may not mean to give you this high expectation of yourself. Maybe you are just perfect for being you (as we all are) I am sure some of them at least wouldn't judge you in the least if something didn't work out, we just like to root for people we like. It's very interesting to see how this can actually put pressure on someone. I am sure this is the last thing they want, so I would definately tell them

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by MOLA

Hello.

If there is always one thing that I notice from almost everyone that I've ever come in contact with is that they have this funny perception in their mind that I'm somewhat perfect.

The question is, why? Why does everyone assume I'm perfect? Why does everyone assume that I can do everything, all at the same time? Why does everyone place the blame on me? Why all of this pressure? How come I can't just blend in the crowd and have it easy like most people?

The above is pretty much what my heart is yelling out from the inside. No matter where it is, at work, at home or even with a loved one, the same thing seems to happen to me; they assume that I am perfect and whenever I make a mistake, it seems like the end of the world. Why am I not allowed the privilege of making a mistake? Why am I assumed to be perfect?

And no. This isn't a mindset or a LOA type of thing. I try to be as relaxed and laid back as possible on a daily basis but it seems whenever I legitimately make a mistake, no matter how small or big, everyone seems to pressure me into thinking I made a fatal mistake.

This drives me crazy.

Has anyone been in similar situation? I need insights on how to deal with this because its very confusing at times.

Feel like I need a little more info. What do they do/say that makes you think they regard you as perfect? Can you give me specific instances?

[Really!]

Well, of course, you're not but Mom might think so!
As well as everyone who you're been kind to ...
People love those who are civil, polite & do not cause them problems ...
Sorry, I don't know how to get people to start disrespecting or talking trash about you ...

Geez, I'd be blushing from humility if everyone said that about me especially my ex-probationers!

Originally Posted by MOLA

Hello.

If there is always one thing that I notice from almost everyone that I've ever come in contact with is that they have this funny perception in their mind that I'm somewhat perfect.

Rest assured then. Somewhat perfect means you aren't perfect.
A bit like me, perfect apart from the conceit.

[Delsol]

Dear Mola, what you describe resonated with me - similar to how I felt younger, but am much older now. Here's what I learned on the way - maybe it will resonate with you. First, it is possible that you ARE more capable than those around you. Why not? It exists. They feel that, and stretch it to unrealistic proportions. People do such all the time. Everyone wants a role model, and we don't feel comfortable when our role models turn out to be human. You cannot stop them! You know you are not PERFECT, so... just be you. When others point out what they perceive to be shortcomings, all you can do is smile inwardly and let it flow. Don't take it to heart. I mean it. There is no 'perfection' scale, and you absolutely cannot stop the unrealistic perceptions of others - that is beyond your control. Next time someone says, "Oh my God! What you did is fatal!" ask yourself if there is any truth in it. If not, shrug it OFF and get on with your day. It takes grit, but eventually whatever you don't give importance or energy to (e.g. the wrongful impressions of others), will fade away and not be so irritating. Good luck, you perfect person, you! Ha ha.

[jimrich]

LOL, were you the 1st born or did someone insist that you be or are PERFECT back when you were a child?

Originally Posted by MOLA

Hello.
If there is always one thing that I notice from almost everyone that I've ever come in contact with is that they have this funny perception in their mind that I'm somewhat perfect.

This might be because you were conditioned or programed to believe that you are or SHOULD be perfect, most likely by someone in your family so now, you PROJECT an image of PERFECTION or Infallibility.

The question is, why? Why does everyone assume I'm perfect? Why does everyone assume that I can do everything, all at the same time? Why does everyone place the blame on me? Why all of this pressure? How come I can't just blend in the crowd and have it easy like most people?

I'd say it's the curse of being the oldest kid in your family or being CONDITIONED to look, act, be and even project INFALLIBILITY.

Why am I not allowed the privilege of making a mistake? Why am I assumed to be perfect?

I'd guess it's about childhood conditioning which makes you BELIEVE you have to be perfect and NEVER make any mistakes.

Has anyone been in similar situation? I need insights on how to deal with this because its very confusing at times.

My 1st born bother and my late wife, who was the 1st born, seemed burdened with the "I must be PERFECT" curse do to very bad and inadequate parenting which placed very high and heavy expectations on them to BE PERFECT and NEVER MAKE A MISTAKE!!!! I'm the 2nd born and our parents allowed me to be very IMPERFECT!
LOL, go figure!

[MOLA]

Hello,

Thank you to those who have given their insights and I apologize for taking decades to reply back to this thread because I wasn't aware of when my account suspension would end.

I am not an only child but I am by default because my stepbrother lives with my stepmom so that would make me the defact only child in the family. Growing up, my mom has been heavily protective of me and understandably so. But if there is one thing that my mother and her family have been restraining me from doing is to go and experience life for its actual reality. They have been keeping me so very protected because they fear of what would happen to me and around 7 years ago I made the choice to tackle this very practice; I've made the decision to separate myself from them as I enter college. I made the rationale of wanting to experience life for the better and for worse as long as I was learning things on my own.

As I was living alone, I did realize the dangers of life that my mother and her family did not want me to experience but I did experience these and nevertheless I came out of these experiences unscathed; meaning I could fend on my own without relying on help from my family or from anyone else. I was my own man. I was the person that never asked for help from anyone because I could tackle any kind of situations and this would actually become my greatest weakness. When I ask for help, I expose myself for who I really am.

Long story short, I never reunited with my mother until 2015 and from there on until now, she has been the same figure that I tried to distance myself from; only this time I have an understanding of why she is treating me the way she is, I choose to tolerate it for her happiness while creating a wall into how much she can treat me the way she is.

I am an only child, from a single mother, who never did drugs. I smoked for a few months to experience it but found myself able to outright quit it; not even a social smoker. I found myself to taking a liking to drinking but I was never addicted to it. I found myself and I assume that everyone around me is surprised that I am the person I am now given the circumstances and conditions I was presented.

I am trying to show more frailty in my life now so that people don't create the perception that I am perfect. People have been giving me an easier time now compared to when I made this thread. But I still feel a pressure from people, especially those that I am interested in romantically.

Thank you all. :)

[Lucky]

I am the oldest child in my family, and similar to you being the only child I do agree that we have a pressure to be perfect. The truth is we put this pressure on ourselves! Everyone makes mistakes, we are only human. Feel comfortable in your skin, because at the end of the day you are the only one who has to answer to yourself.