The guy with two hearts

[Remnantique]

Right this is going to sound like something completely out of kingdom hearts lol but does anyone feel like deep down they're actually a different type of person but for the most part you're someone else?

It's not so much as a double personality, but basically I try and be nice, polite and kind to everyone through life and I feel it's great to see people happy and helping others with their problems. However, I have to actively "force" myself to pursue feeling that way otherwise in actuality I become quite lazy and over-reliant on others. It's like deep down my heart is telling me i'm lazy and just selfish for myself but I have decided that I want to be someone who's nice. It's like a battle with myself lol

I didn't really know where to post this so I thought it might be linked to past lives, a journey of spiritual self improvement and perhaps certain traits are lingering from past lives.

[Tobi]

I suppose it's not so weird to feel that way. Part of you -some people might call "Higher Self" (?) has managed to inspire you to work towards an ideal, which must be a very strong value for you to keep trying the way you are doing.

But gradually diverting the course of your desire takes some time and patience. Responses become ingrained by habit. Each thought, translated into a deed, and done regularly, slowly changes habitual responses.

[BriarRose]

I don't think it's weird to feel the way you do, Remnantique. I have to work at changing my unkind thoughts about people to good ones. When I get really impatient, and "mean", I send thought blessings to the victims of my scorn. It may not help them, but I feel better for it. I wore a wooden bead bracelet for a while. It was called a "compassion" bracelet, and made from the seeds from a Bodhi tree. When I touched it, it reminded me to think "good" thoughts. I think many of us feel like "two people", because we all have a "shadow" side. I agree with Tobi that your efforts are positive, and will become habits in time.

[TheGlow]

I would think most of the worlds population isn't even at your point of awareness/awakening.

Most are just thinking only of what they can get, all about themself. Or their immediate family. As you awaken it seems you become more oriented towards giving and kindness and ultimately love.

I was born different so have watched it all my life. im still haunted by the day as a toddler in nursery school (35 years ago) I chose not to share my crackers with a girl. I regretted it seconds later. I can still see her face.

I used to think people chose to be selfish, and greedy but getting to know them more I see it now that selfishness is something most have to fight against, or awaken to defeat. Sadly I think most go to the grave never even considering it isn't the way they want to be.

If you truely want to be more kind and caring perhaps start small pick one or two people to treat how ideally you would like to be treated. Practice with them till its a habit, slowly you will find it more natural.

Ps picking people it's easy to love but are not blood relatives might make it both easier to accomplish and easier to later generalize to others.

Be well

[Remnantique]

I feel the more I want to focus on developing myself as a person and spiritually, the less attached to material possessions I become. You surround yourself with love and then it just feels like nothing else really matters and all you wanna do is surround yourself with people who can share the love.

Originally Posted by Remnantique

Right this is going to sound like something completely out of kingdom hearts lol but does anyone feel like deep down they're actually a different type of person but for the most part you're someone else?

It's not so much as a double personality, but basically I try and be nice, polite and kind to everyone through life and I feel it's great to see people happy and helping others with their problems. However, I have to actively "force" myself to pursue feeling that way otherwise in actuality I become quite lazy and over-reliant on others. It's like deep down my heart is telling me i'm lazy and just selfish for myself but I have decided that I want to be someone who's nice. It's like a battle with myself lol

I didn't really know where to post this so I thought it might be linked to past lives, a journey of spiritual self improvement and perhaps certain traits are lingering from past lives.

We often speak of personality matters with reference to the heart (center). This can be inaccurate and misleading. The energies and purpose of the heart are little to do with emotional behaviourism. The ethereal centers involved here are those below the solar plexus and a couple of minor chakras in the head area all expressing through the throat. It is my belief that what you are experiencing is normal for someone who, clearly, is as sensitive as you are.

In our long road of spiritual awakening we advance in little steps. So often we have to adjust each time a change occurs. I believe this is all that is happening and say "don't make more out of it than there is on the surface". There's nothing wrong with you and don't allow any feelings of either guilt or responsibility for some unknown thing to distract you from everyday living.