What happens now?

ksjm: In order to not flip flop back and forth with this, you might want to consider asking yourself some questions and honoring your HONEST answers. That's what I had to do. The questions I asked were:
Why do I need this other man when I have a husband I love and who adores me/loves me? If I will never leave my husband, why am I wasting my time? If I am to make an assumption on what the other man has shown regarding his personality, etc. as of late, would I even WANT a relationship with him anyway?

It only took these three questions and HONEST answers for me to know what I needed to do. Once I made a decision, I stuck with it. No more back and forth with this issue.

We are blind creatures who often remain in denial when we want what we want. Perhaps you still want sc in your life and you have to find out why by asking your own personal questions.

We often (as people) waste needless energy on things in life when that energy can be put toward something more meaningful and important.

Hope this helps.

Suchapisces,

I don't have any spiritual evidence based on any conversations we had. It was just this intense feeling and later I felt several of my chakras opening, which I have never experienced before. Some of the feelings I had several weeks ago felt related to rejection, which is a recurrent theme in my life. I feel that this experience may have just been a catalyst for growth. I am, however, still labeling it just for my own research and reflection.

I have had several meaningful connections with friends and a boyfriend over the years who have helped me with some of the leasons I need to learn. My husbad has, without a doubt, been my biggest soul connection and partner. He has never rejected me and wants me to be whole. I am very lucky. With this "connection" I believe the Universe was providing me an opportunity to finally get this lesson. I apparently needed a bigger, more intimate (althougn we were not physically intimate; the emotional connection and the comfort we felt right off the bat was enough to pull me into an intimate place with him) relationship to make me take notice. My husband, who absolutely never gets jealous of me chatting or even flirting with men in our community, was completely freaked out by this relationship--after only the first five days. At one point he even said that tf and I are so alike. He did not mean it as a compliment. He meant that we both seemed to "need" this back and forth communication. He had read some of our early conversations. He was very threatenend and I could not isagree with him because in just five days of back and forth communication with tf I was so drawn in and not paying much attention to anyone in my family. It was beyond noticeable--especially to my husband who knows absolutely everything about me. I have never acted that interested or gotten that carried away like that before with anyone. It was like a drug and I wanted more! I don't think it is healthy and I may have an addictive personality or something (not really though; I like to drink and sometimes get carried away, but I do not feel as pulled in by alcohol or any substance the way I was with tf--so strange!).

Because I have read that these connections can happen online and without ever meeting up physically, it made me wonder. I am ok if I'm not right about all of this. In fact, I'd be happy to know I am wrong. Letting go of this would be easier if I just drop the label.

That's why I feel it's a spiritual situation.

Were you aware of what chakras were before you had this intense feeling? Any spiritual "fruits," or definitive gifts, not just for yourself but to others, from this?

Suchapisces,

Yes, I knew what chakras are. I spent time years ago trying to open them, focus on them, spin them. I don't think I got very far.

Recently, after taking a short break from tf I started feeling my heart, solar plexis, root and sacral chakras opening. I also felt electricity running down my spine a few times.


I am so into my ego and head about tf right now that I have sort of lost these feelings, so I will head back into myself for a bit and see what shows up.

[Liladeryn]

Originally Posted by ksjm33

He was very threatenend and I could not isagree with him because in just five days of back and forth communication with tf I was so drawn in and not paying much attention to anyone in my family.

I find that rather sad.. Ksjm your Hubby may one day get sick of feeling threatened over a guy on the internet and go off and find someone that wants to put him first..

You have said this Sc of yours has said too you He gets back too your mail to avoid your meltdowns If ANYONE said that too me they wouldn't hear from me again..

You said he has said he cant keep up with your Torrent and he just wants normal ..Hes asked you too meet up and you said no and then he changed..So you wonder if hes a womanizer..But you still want to fit all that into a TF situation?

I know you have said you wondered if you were just looking for something as life is hectic..Could it be this guy just gave you a bit of spark back in life as he gave you some attention and it was all new..

You want to know "what now"..I think you need to get honest with yourself and what you really want..If its your marriage try to find that spark back with the marriage instead of outside it..Go on a spiritual journey if that is what you want..You dont have to have TF to do that

But even if he mails you in an hour..You need to figure out what you want ,what are you are doing in all this .. Where do you actually think it will go ..Do you really think you can just stay friends with this person..Friendship is extremely hard to keep, feelings grow and you have already admitted to feeling strong feelings ..Stop worrying if hes coming back to give you some more attention and really have a look around you now and see what you have..Do you want to give that up..How long will hubby put up with it all for? We all have our limits
(please dont be offended I had to ask myself all the tough questions as well)

Yes, I am not making light of this and am completely guilt-stricken!

I read tfs can come along when you're married and so I thought this is what was happening, because absolutely no one has ever made me feel this way since I've been married, nor has anyone even made me look twice.

This is the only reason I even explored this topic.

I want to feel what I'm going through and move on so I can learn whatever I need to. I hope never to drive my husband away. I don't want to have my cake and eat it too, but I do want to figure out the reason for the connection. If I just go into guilt mode about how I've treated my husband, then I'm not sure I'll dig deep within to figure out the meaning of all this.

Believe me, the guilt is still going to come--after I've processed this top layer of emotion about twin. It will be horrific!!

I'm not a cold-hearted animal. I was completely shocked by this thing and was not lonely or looking for attention. This was very strange and out-of-the-blue.

[Liladeryn]

Ks No one says you should feel guilt although I know that comes along when these things happen when married..Im not saying you should be guilty..Nor is anyone calling you a cold harted animal

You got to take the Tf thing out of this..Any connection Anything can come along while married..

I really dont think you will ever find out the reason...No one can tell you what the reason is and it could be a hundred little things or just the fact you were feeling bored with life..I really dont think there are answers to everything..You could go around in circles forever trying to figure it all out..

You care about someone else it really does not need to be anything more..You wanted to know what now..Well when I asked myself that question..My what now was to figure out not what the connection was (who cares) It was what did I want..Where am i going and what was important to me..

Originally Posted by ksjm33

It was beyond noticeable--especially to my husband who knows absolutely everything about me. I have never acted that interested or gotten that carried away like that before with anyone. .

Ha! Tell me about it! 2 years ago I went to a concert and twin was there. When I came home, hubby looked at my face and said, "Dang, just go be with him" lol