A true silent black enveloping conscious

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by Ewwerrin

I went through life review process of many kind of lifes. ... But my center Self remained unaffected. As if there is nothing there. It felt like it was happening to me, like some higher intelligence was giving me a ride through random experiences. Showing that death is not real and fear is just a believe system that activates prior to death. It happened so fast and I remained like a nothing center, unaffected.

Yes, we can say that the Self is formless and thus is never touched by anything arising in form.

At the same time the incarnate Self is connected to the mind-body apparatus in order to experience the worlds of form, even while remaining unaffected.

You say that you observed these lives while remaining like a nothing centre. Which suggests that there was an "I" observing it all, and this "I" is not Ewwerrin but Consciousness.

And Consciousness has its own intelligence, and occasionally the mind-body apparatus can directly experience the intelligence of our Higher Consciousness. Why such experiences happen to particular people at particular times I do not know. Maybe the everyday consciousness of the mind-body apparatus can occasionally become aligned with Higher Consciousness and so the energies flow freely from the higher to the lower. Or maybe our everyday consciousness is pushed beyond its usual boundaries by some extreme event, and we discover what lies outside everyday consciousness.

So when you say "some higher intelligence was giving me a ride through random experiences" maybe consider the possibility that this higher intelligence was actually coming from the real you.

Peace

[Ewwerrin]

Originally Posted by iamthat

So when you say "some higher intelligence was giving me a ride through random experiences" maybe consider the possibility that this higher intelligence was actually coming from the real you.

Thanks, I always wanted to make some sense of that experience.

It's scary that it came from my real me. It felt that way. But my ego was still present completely confused by chaos of experience that immense speed of creating realities and navigating them in such unusual ways. My ego felt like it would not survive the experience of my eternal consciousness. real self.

Still today, I feel a disconnect between me and it. I never understood its intentions during those experiences. It seemed to have intentions that were alien to me. Exploring and navigating reality in alien ways. The way that real consciousness of mine related to reality was almost like a computer. I could not extract any intention that was recognizable by me. And it had immense speed. My experience of it was chaos because too many things occured that I coulden't understand.

It felt like my real self was non physical super intelligence, calculating countless of realities. This experience came after extreme distress and trauma. 3 day lasting psychosis before it happened. Maybe that's what triggered it.

[Starman]

The “real you” is in unfathomable deep meditation and thus the saying “God does my meditation for me.” We, our self conscious selves, just jumps into the flow of meditation that is provided by our greater self. That flow is constant and it is as a ladder by which we climb consciousness, or are pulled to greater heights. But like a moth to a flame self consciousness dissolves the closer it gets to its true state of being. When we come before the answer there are no questions. I feel like the One Being is the fisherman and I am the fish, the hook of inspiration is in me and I am being reeled in. It is my lack of effort more then my effort which brings me there, yet everything has a part to play. I do nothing unto myself or own my own, and yet the self just may be all there is, without a self conscious identity.

[ste20man]

Hey!

It's amazing to see so many different people talking I guess about near enough the same thing. The story I wrote happened maybe 15 years ago and I guess it took me 5 years just to integrate it into my life. It was that out of the ordinary, I wasn't trying for this to happen, it just did. Completely life changing of course.

Today things have changed. For 35 years I have been working against myself. I have been self sabotaging for that amount of time. I thought I had done something wrong when I was 9 or 10 and did not speak. It was nothing but I thought it was. I started to turn in on myself, telling myself that I was bad. Worse still I was fighting against my soul, my very being. It's a fight you cannot win and I didn't. Whatever i've achieved in those years I havent even been trying.

Most people work for their benefit, they progress, the get wives and families.

Not me. I was at war with myself. There is no quit in me. For good or bad.

But today is different. Over the past 3 weeks I have become clear, calm and at peace. A switch has tripped. I am not fighting myself anymore. I am free.

You can't imagine what it's like to stop fighting. It is so exhausting.

But now I'm completely still and free.

I will never change because there is nothing to change to.

A average human with a big heart that has travelled so far that it even makes me smile. Where most people I know have been building houses, going to work so they can buy cars, I was drilling down to the every bottom of myself.

I just never expected it to be an eternal and infinite sea of consciousness.

It might have been easier if someone had told me what would happen if you started looking in. "The light of the world resides within you..." So many wise words that were only words to me at one time. I was blind to that level of knowing.

But I'm not now, my shpere of conscioussness has grown.

I need and want for absolutely nothing.

After so many years of fighting, I am now completely at peace. This is bliss.

I will never move, I will never change or strive.

I am truly happy.

Thanks for all your helping words.

This will be my last post, I wish you well.

I live in Manchester and as we sing round here:

"You and I are gonna live foreverrrrrrrr..."

Never a truer word said.

Be brave!

Fear nothing!!!

[Ewwerrin]

Originally Posted by ste20man

Hey!...
... It's amazing to see so...
Fear nothing!!!

I'm glad you are being well. Good for you.

It's always nice to hear good news.

Thank you for your sharing.

[Starman]

ste20man, The battle most often is with ourselves, even when it involves someone else. It is the great war, Jihad or Armageddon, which are spoken of in religions, but many think that war takes place in the outer world when actually it rages within people even now.

At the age of nine-teen I was in a war in Vietnam but it was not like the ferocious battle I had within myself after leaving that outside war. That outer battle paled in comparison to the inner battle afterwards. It took years and lots of healing, but most of all spirit distanced me from the pain inflected by my internal battle, and I learned it was a battle that I really did not need to fight if I surrendered to spirit. Lots of people take their life because they feel they are losing that inner battle.

When I hear about a school shooting, or other active shooter situation, domestic violence, rage and anger in its many forms; I view those events as people at war with themselves and taking it out on others. As you say the battle with ourselves can be exhausting and consuming. Peace on earth begins with me is more then just a slogan.

It literally happens when people allow spirit to conquer their internal battles, free them and relieve them of their fight. It is wise to understand that which gives us life can also protect us in battle. Today I do not take things as personally as I used to, and by the Grace of God I am finally learning how to let go. I know and have met people who find peace boring, they crave opposition. I thank God I have no enemies and that I am a friend to myself. It is an outstanding feeling. I congratulate you on finding peace.

P.S. I might add that the internal war is frequently based on a perspective that is stuck in a polarizing duality.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by ste20man

...I am not fighting myself anymore. I am free. You can't imagine what it's like to stop fighting. It is so exhausting. But now I'm completely still and free.

Yes, the internal struggle, the inner resistance to what is, takes up so much time and energy. And it is a continual unconscious struggle. As you say, it is exhausting.

And then something within us surrenders and we cease to resist. The fighting stops and we rest in stillness, allowing all things to be. And it is only when we drop the burden of the struggle that we realise what a burden we have been carrying for all these years.

You say that this has happened over the past three weeks. If I can offer one piece of advice, if it is practical then make the time to really embody this state. There are many accounts of people who have such "awakenings" and it may last for days or weeks or months, but eventually everyday life and old patterns re-assert themselves. Adyashanti calls this the "I got it, I lost it" phenomenon.

I sometimes think of Eckhart Tolle who says that following his realisation:

"For the next five months, I lived in a state of uninterrupted deep peace and bliss. After that, it diminished somewhat in intensity, or perhaps it just seemed to because it became my natural state. I could still function in the world, although I realized that nothing I ever did could possibly add anything to what I already had. But even the most beautiful experiences come and go. More fundamental, perhaps, than any experience is the undercurrent of peace that has never left me since then. Sometimes it is very strong, almost palpable, and others can feel it too. At other times, it is somewhere in the background, like a distant melody."

Incidentally, Eckhart Tolle spent two years after his realisation just sitting on park benches in a state of intense joy. This may not be so feasible in a Manchester winter!

So at the moment this is new and fresh and immediate for you. It may never go away, but do not be surprised if it moves from the foreground of your awareness to the background of your awareness. Hence the recommendation to really embody this while it is still strongly present.

Peace

[movingalways]

Not of its own volition, the mind is made sick by duality perception. And because the sickness of duality perception comes without reason, the medicine of mystical experience also comes without reason. The wisdom of the bible (parenthesis mine) tells us “For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of (the unknown) him who hath subjected the same in hope...”

What is the hope that comes of the same unknown source of human vanity (ego)? It comes in the form of mystical experiences that lifts one up and out of their separate self sense. How is the hope that is the mystical experience manifested? "The word of the LORD was unto them precept upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little..."

The Buddha likened the mind's need to reason space, distance and matter, be it gross (self-centred) or be it subtle (mystical), as a raft that one carries on one's back until they get to the shore of the clear light of (nondual) truth. And once standing firmly on the shore of knowing not-two, to send the raft back to the sea from whence it came.

[Ewwerrin]

Originally Posted by movingalways

Not of its own volition,...
...sea from whence it came.

I don't understand why the mind is always blamed for duality. When duality is in all of creation. All of creation as we see and know it being a fractal. A manifestation of duality.

I find it funny that people think the presence or absence of mind can change the omni presence of duality, being in and of all things. Or that a change of mind can somehow reveal nonduality. Even the revelation of it means that it was not revealed before. Creating another duality. Before and after realisation.

What is true nonduality, has to be already everything. But how can one realise it without realising it? The seeker of nonduality is the most hopeless cause there is.

[movingalways]

Ewwerrin, I'm sending these words with nothing but love - shut the F up! Your mind is on overdrive. Time for a mental vacation. Step away from forums for a while, go for long walks, breathe! Eat ice cream slowly, sip coffee lovingly, listen to uplifting music, talk to the trees, laugh, cry, read Rupert Spira and the Upanishads, write to God, write to yourself. After all, when all is said and done, either you want lasting peace or you don't.

Please, for the sake of your mental and spiritual health, walk gently into that good night.