Fans, impersonal vs. personal communications and TF

[clueless]

Is there anything in TF community that makes you second guessing or challenging TF phenomenon?

For me, it is not about mythology or authenticity of TF teaches. It is about something else.

Among many comments on one yt channel about TF, there is this one person who keeps posting about her TF. The way she writes about her experience, it is something many of us experienced in a similar way. Yearning, wanting to be with that person, feeling love and connection etc.
At first - everything is almost like a pattern we all been thru.
Except, when you keep on reading her comments, you eventually get to find out that person who she considers her TF is a famous celebrity whom she met as a fan at some event. Also, this celeb is known to be a opposite sexual orientation that she is (if that matters for anything).

I know many of you expressed serious doubts about TF mythology, origin, purpose and other serious factors of TF narratives.
But, to be quite honest, the only part of TF narrative that scared me was finding out about story similar to lady in question.

Why this scared me, you may ask. I cant explain it in a coherent way, its more intuitively.

The man I considered my everything for 17years (almost half of my life) is a living, breathing human being that I knew personally and he knew me, we were in physical contact for years, and in each other lives (for better and worse, but we were)

Everything I felt for him, although maybe it meant nothing to him, but everything I felt for him was something I based of the fact that he IS a human being next to me, part of my life. Not some kind of a faraway fantasy, imaginary character I know only from the media, magazines, books or something like that.

But then again, people feel the same, or at least the report that they feel the same about others they never met or communicated with personally, except for 30second photo op they had.

Dont get me wrong, I spent 5 years in a predominantly phone communication with my TF, so Im not bashing long distance relationships or anything like that. I'm not bashing anything :)
Thing that scares me, is not about long distance it is about personal vs. non-personal communication.

If a fan of a celebrity can feel the same amount of TF pulling, does this in a way makes ours (peoples who had personal relationships with TF) TF experience less credible?

[QT Pie]

No.

My experience is mine. There isnt anything about it to question because I dont hold any belief that it means anything. I know how it felt. I dont know what it means. Perhaps others know what it "means" but that is thier truth. I dont try to evalute other peoples journey. It's of no concern to me. It changes nothing while on mine. I didn't control it's happening and I cant control it's outcome. All I can do is peel my desires off of it. And expect no more than I was given. Doing this - it has given and given and given endlessly. If I read someone had a TF experience with a horse I would hope whatever happened would bare as much spiritual fruit for them.

It is only the need for it to be special that raises such a defense and subsequently fear.

[clueless]

Originally Posted by QT Pie

No.

My experience is mine. There isnt anything about it to question because I dont hold any belief that it means anything. I know how it felt. I dont know what it means. Perhaps others know what it "means" but that is thier truth. I dont try to evalute other peoples journey. It's of no concern to me. It changes nothing while on mine. I didn't control it's happening and I cant control it's outcome. All I can do is peel my desires off of it. And expect no more than I was given. Doing this - it has given and given and given endlessly. If I read someone had a TF experience with a horse I would hope whatever happened would bare as much spiritual fruit for them.

It is only the need for it to be special that raises such a defense and subsequently fear.

thanks
cute pie (love your username)

Part of me wants to say the same as you said, and other part of me is afraid of being judged by others (by world, actually I dont know by whom specifically), I'm afraid I'm gonna be judged the way I'm judging this lady
(and it is not that Im intentionally judging her, it is about - what is real what is not)

I'm afraid that one day, after many years pass without him, without his word or contact or anything, without closure, I'm gonna become a person "chasing" a ghost, almost non-existent person, or person who used to exist in my life...
He used to exist in my life, but at what point person is changed to the degree that old them is nonexistent and you dont know new them.
Umm I know this sounds off, but ....

I dont know if this is something my ego fears or my soul fears of.


There is also another thing, wanted to add to my first post:
People often ask how do you know who's your TF, and they often add that most of TF stuff is in a head of the chaser, they used to say -"runner just wants to get away from you, why are you chasing after them? you are just imagining the connection"-

And that's the thing: for people who had personal communication with their tf - why would they imagine the connection where the other person is running away from them.
If I would to only imagine that there is a connection with anybody I wouldn't imagine that this person is running away from me, I would imagine this person to be the one that is running after me, you know?

If I would to choose figment of my imagination to be that important to me, I would imagine most ideal situations and person, not a scared runner.

I mean, at the end of the day, you cannot go around saying this celeb who I met for 30seconds is running away from me, since they dont even know your name, and they are not running away in a way "real" tf are running away.

Writing this, I realize Im bothered by this since I feel I need some kind of validation for all these years I spend hoping for our reconciliation. :(

[QT Pie]

Truth does not require belief.

Find your truth with it and you will be safe from all such fears.

Originally Posted by clueless

Is there anything in TF community that makes you second guessing or challenging TF phenomenon?

For me, it is not about mythology or authenticity of TF teaches. It is about something else.

Among many comments on one yt channel about TF, there is this one person who keeps posting about her TF. The way she writes about her experience, it is something many of us experienced in a similar way. Yearning, wanting to be with that person, feeling love and connection etc.
At first - everything is almost like a pattern we all been thru.
Except, when you keep on reading her comments, you eventually get to find out that person who she considers her TF is a famous celebrity whom she met as a fan at some event. Also, this celeb is known to be a opposite sexual orientation that she is (if that matters for anything).

I know many of you expressed serious doubts about TF mythology, origin, purpose and other serious factors of TF narratives.
But, to be quite honest, the only part of TF narrative that scared me was finding out about story similar to lady in question.

Why this scared me, you may ask. I cant explain it in a coherent way, its more intuitively.

The man I considered my everything for 17years (almost half of my life) is a living, breathing human being that I knew personally and he knew me, we were in physical contact for years, and in each other lives (for better and worse, but we were)

Everything I felt for him, although maybe it meant nothing to him, but everything I felt for him was something I based of the fact that he IS a human being next to me, part of my life. Not some kind of a faraway fantasy, imaginary character I know only from the media, magazines, books or something like that.

But then again, people feel the same, or at least the report that they feel the same about others they never met or communicated with personally, except for 30second photo op they had.

Dont get me wrong, I spent 5 years in a predominantly phone communication with my TF, so Im not bashing long distance relationships or anything like that. I'm not bashing anything :)
Thing that scares me, is not about long distance it is about personal vs. non-personal communication.

If a fan of a celebrity can feel the same amount of TF pulling, does this in a way makes ours (peoples who had personal relationships with TF) TF experience less credible?

What makes a lasting celeb a celeb is that she or he has lots of fans, many of whom adulate. My parents talk about the Beatles/Stones craze back in the 1960s, girls hysterically screaming, worked up into a frenzy, throwing money at memorabilia...anything that had an autograph on it was crazy valuable. Some threw their underwear at the group and at others when staging allowed. Men fell in love with Twiggy and Lulu similarly. Photos were put under pillows.

Still goes on.

It's about adulation not love. The TF industry would have made huge gains if it had been thought up 50 years ago. People fantasise - and as a certain leader said (almost a century ago) if you believe a lie long enough it becomes the truth, which seems relevant to this issue.

Romance is wonderful. Just don't get carried away with it! What you seem to be saying is that you've enjoyed a lasting contact/relationship without attaching labels to it.

...

[arushofbloodtothehead]

Hi. :)

I’m gonna share my story a bit because I feel like it and maybe it helps you understand better. Having spiritual experiences myself with a "famous" person who I don't personally know, I cannot really judge her, or anyone in here really. We haven't lived through her experience and cannot ever comprehend the full complicity and the depth of it. From someone on the outside she might seem delusional, and maybe she is, who knows, but the whole point is that she is growing through it, and in this journey everything is highly customized and unique to every person. If I told you about some stuff I experienced you'd probably think I'm a case for psychiatry, but even if it sounds crazy it still doesn't take away the validity of my experience.

For example, when I met him, my brain went onto autopilot and I got flooded with thoughts and images that I couldn’t understand at the time. Also the voice in my head kept shouting „It’s me, I am here, it is me, it’s me!“ on repeat without a logical reason. At one point he interrupted signing stuff for people, turned to me, looked me in the eyes and leaned in way too close with a confused frown of „Who are you?“. I was looking him in the eyes and smiling in pure love, but when he made that questioning frown I just froze and couldn’t move or break eye contact. I felt naked and exposed. After studying my face for what seemed way too long, not breaking the eye contact he twitched, leaned back, his face lit up and his expression changed into a huge smile, like he recognized me and went like „Oh, it’s you!“.

After I just prayed I will one day make sense of everything that happened that night. Then one day I was on a bus thinking about the way he looked at me and why, and then the bus stopped at the red light and I lifted my head and looked through the window and in front of me on a building there were huge letters that read „green eyes“ (I have green eyes). Like that solely wasn’t enough, at that moment a lady walked under it wearing a shirt saying „I felt electricity when you looked at me“. My stomach did a couple of twists.

Then some time later I was having a walk thinking about life and how that was a strange thing on a bus, when two little boys playing in the park came to me literally pulling me by the sleeve and one exclaimed „Miss, miss, look, he has the same eyes as you!“ pointing at the other boy and smiling. At first I was perplexed, then I looked at the other boy and he did in fact not have similar eyes at all, he had brown ones, so why would he even say that, and just as I was thinking about the topic. In fact, I even had dark sunglasses on and he couldn’t see my eyes at all, so how would he even know. I know kids imagine things playing, but that was so weird. And, as a cherry on the cake, eventually some time later I found out my celebrity guy wrote a new song and, guess what, it’s called Green Eyes.

So when things you cannot logically explain happen again and again, eventually you come to realization that it is your reality and it is a factual reality, not the trick of your mind. There is so, so much difference between something you would call unhealthy delusional obsession with a person and a profound spiritual experience that just keeps on giving. You may call it whatever you want, tf or something else, but it is there, something deep and profound that changed your world completely. From what I've experienced, these connections have nothing to do with outer circumstances, either be it skin color and religion issue or things like status and publicity, but are all about the inexplicable inner pull and gravitation, the urge to love said person completely selflessly and unconditionally. So what I want to say is that you should never compare your story to someone else’s, that would only make you deny your truth eventually. Your truth is yours only. Hers too. And it’s only between you and God/Universe/whoever you believe in and the person you love as a tf/sm. And all the answers lie in there.

I can only say that for the first time I saw him on screen everything in me screamed in joy and awe. I didn't even know who he was, it wasn’t based on anything tangible, not even looks, I just recognized something eternal and had the most urgent need to found out what it was. I was young and it brought so much pain for I couldn't comprehend what it is and why I’m feeling this way about somebody I don't know. I lived for years in misery because everything in me wanted to bask in that love inside me, but all I did was stomp on it, suffocate it and bully myself for feeling it, because one cannot feel these things towards a celebrity. I used to say to myself that it is a crush, that it will pass, but it never did. And I had crushes when I was younger and it didn't feel the same at all.

After four years of agony and battling myself (my education suffered, I was depressed, physically unwell and just lost all direction in life - it all started with him coming into my life, before it I was fairly happy young woman) I got the chance to meet him for a moment. I expected I'd come to my senses and realize I imagined it all. I even looked forward to that moment of final freedom. But that short encounter and that whole day was filled with synchronicities and symbols, weird occurrences, that only raised more questions in my confused mind and strengthened the spiritual part of it even more.

After it I begged and begged the Universe to tell me what this is, to free me, to get my life back, I was on my knees in the middle of the night crying in desperation just thinking where is this pain coming from and why. And one day I found out about tfs. Can you imagine living through something for five years and not once hearing for a term that suddenly seemed to explain everything I was going through? Not once, even by coincidence picking up on it, even if it is just one google search away, even when there is so much written about soulmates and tfs on the web. Not even getting a glimpse of it. Like I was not meant to know before I actually met him. Because if I did know before, I know I would certainly convince myself that I projected this theory onto him and that I was really just crazy. Of course I heard about soulmates before, but I never related to that concept, at least not in this case, it just seemed too bland and mild for what I was feeling so fervently, so quietly, so powerfully, so strongly, yet boundlessly and non-possessively towards him.

So you see, yes, my experience too is as impersonal as it gets, but then there's dreams and visions and things I couldn't possibly know that turned out to be true etc. and it is what it is, some kind of bond is just there and it persists. Everything just happens at its own pace and time and all we can do is have utmost faith in ourselves and Divine. So never stray from the truth of your heart. Even in a biggest of doubts, there is a spark that will lead you back to safety and calmness of your personal truth. :)

[eliana israel]

I think that's the issue here is having a story only God (whatever that may be to you) and yourself can write. You can't depend on someone else's story to validate your experience...If it's 100 percent real to you, no one can take that away. Only the all and all knows if that girl really had soul mate connection with a celebrity, afterall their human beings as far as I know, you can become a celebrity. Seems like everyone needs to vent or want to share their story, nothing wrong with it.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by clueless

thanks

I'm afraid that one day, after many years pass without him, without his word or contact or anything, without closure, I'm gonna become a person "chasing" a ghost, almost non-existent person, or person who used to exist in my life...
He used to exist in my life, but at what point person is changed to the degree that old them is nonexistent and you dont know new them.
Umm I know this sounds off, but ....

:(

Clueless, my twin and I had no contact for 20+ years, then a year ago he came back in my life. It didn't take long to see that the man I remembered is still there inside and we connected very quickly. He was in the back of my mind all those years, but not to the point where it affected me. I see that we both needed to be apart, to live our lives with others, to have the experiences we did in order to come back together today, if that makes sense.

If he's meant to be in your life, he will be again. I truly believe things work out the way they are supposed to, even if its not the way we might ideally want. Hope that helps.

[Kalika]

As long as you experience unconditional love, where you can let go and not need them, then I guess your Twin can be anyone.

Originally Posted by HeartChakra

As long as you experience unconditional love, where you can let go and not need them, then I guess your Twin can be anyone.

That seems absolutely right. Most people with whom we engage teach us about us if we bother to attend.

♥