I can only project on accident?

[merwitch]

A few years ago I began experimenting with astral projection. The vibrating was odd, and the first time I saw what I thought was my soul as I brought my hand out (there was quite a bit of suction) and it was a beautiful blue, like still water or aquamarine. Then it happened again by accident (the first time was also an accident as I was not expecting it when I woke up) and I was pulling my head out (also quite suctiony) but quickly went back in because I was afraid to turn around and see myself.

About a week ago, to my surprise, it happened again although it was instant and I did not have the experience of pulling myself out. I was just out. Everything was slow and dreamy and I was looking down at my own face, I looked up and saw my dresser and my things, panicked and went back inside.

It seems I can ONLY do this by accident which is nice because I don't have to try, but it's also irritating because it happens once in a blue moon and I'd like to make it a nightly thing.

Has anyone else ever struggled like this? Any advice? Anyone know why I can only do this by accident?

Note that I also invoke good and pure spirits to help me come out when I try to, and banish all spirits of ill intent from touching me or my body.

[shoni7510]

I also do not make myself astral project, it happens on its own accord when it does and I am okay with it.

[astralsuzy]

I used to ap a lot by accident but that was a long time ago. I now have to make an effort to ap otherwise it mostly does not happen.