social anxiety

[RedEmbers]

Does anyone here have any experience with social anxiety and how to overcome it?

Mine started probably 10 years ago, prior to that I was very confident in social situations, in fact, I was the life of the party (or so I thought).

I just feel almost paralyzed in social settings now and often come across as abrasive, which is far from the truth. It would be all to easy for me to avoid social situations but I try to get out even though I feel like I would prefer to slink away into a dark corner.
It can make me act quite strange in public... I have some coping stratagies but they seem to get burned away in the heat of the moment.
I'm not getting any younger but I am getting pretty over it.

[innerlight]

Anxiety is, most times, based around past failures that keep repeating in your mind. You said you were one thing, and since then, you are no longer that.. That is where you need to start your quest of healing. Find that jump off point that occurred ten years ago, and heal yourself to allow yourself to return to your place of innocence.

[Saiisha]

Hello RedEmbers,
I've always felt uncomfortable in social settings, so rather than try to shine in them, I try to avoid them, and instead prefer to connect one on one. I find that one on one connections are much deeper, and more meaningful. When I really have to survive a social scene, I try to go with a friend. I'm not looking to change the unsocial aspect of me, so I'm not sure if this helps you :)

[wolfgaze]

Have you read any books on this subject matter that might provide valuable insight & advice?

[knightofalbion]

Have you tried something like a herbal nervine (i.e. Kalms or Quiet Life) or the Bach Flower Remedies (esp. Rescue Remedy)?

Learn a few jokes. Laughing and getting others to laugh breaks down inhibitions and mental barriers.

Be kind and courteous. People will warm to you.

Join a hobby/interest group. Being around people who share your interests i.e. kindred spirits, will automatically put you at ease.

[Tobi]

I'm not really a great 'socialiser' either nowadays. I used to like to go out when I was younger, just to see what was happening out there! Sometimes I would stay out late and then have to walk home -miles, and very often in silly high heels...arriving home sometimes at 2-3 in the morning, to the disgruntlement of my long-suffering husband!
Once he locked me out!
I was young and very foolish! LOL He was older and more sensible than me.

Yet as I have grown older and changed quite a lot. I rather like quiet times now.
I don't think I exactly have "social anxiety" but sometimes too much social action can make me feel a little stressed. So I can definitely empathise with someone who does have that.

It is possibly because I need to be alone more than I used to.

However -one thing I have found that definitely helps is -no matter what I am feeling I forget about myself, and concentrate instead on the other person....what they are saying....what conversation we are having, etc. And send them kind thoughts while they are with me. It does mean a lot to many people, to just be appreciated, even for a short time, and someone who is interested in them and listens. Forgetting about yourself can help lessen any anxiety.

[jacqueline]

Maybe you're an empath but you're not counscious about it? That is the case when you feel emotions of others and since there is a lot of negativity, especially in an everyday life, everyone has a job they don't like, relationship issues, personal problems on their mind and you subconsciously take it all on yourself.


There might be these cases:
1. You are generally peaceful person. You have inner balance, especially when alone and rather like to be alone or/and in nature. You don't feel the need to be around people a lot.The question is do you have hard time not crying when someone else is crying? Or maybe you are sensitive to others suffering? Do you feel trapped in a crowd? Does your heart palpitate when in social situation, do you feel like your blood pressure is too high? Do you just want to leave/run away and be alone in a well known, perfectly quiet place?

2. You are rather easily disrupted by little things- everyday situations.You are shy- you want to express yourself and interact with others but feel some blockage in your mind. You have also some unhealed issue going on there which you can't get rid of (might be not connected to the "social issue"). You can't sleep well. You are an overthinker.

If the first case was a yes for you than you may be an empath. Try to be alone as much as needed to relieve the stress uploaded from the other people. You tend to take on their negativity as well as positivity, but these are not YOUR emotions and your body can't take it without feeling imbalanced.

If the second case was a yes for you than maybe try talking to someone about your problems- social and other. Try crystal healing. Try some meditation to slow down and not overthink things. Thinking and creating too many (mostly impossible) scenarios in your mind will disappear.

In both cases you may have a problem with your throat chakra. This is a sign- disability to express yourself clearly to the others. Work with your voice, use it a lot- scream, sing, hum, chant the oum while meditating. If you have additional problems with your throat- if it hurts or other similar- that might be a sign too. If not- then the problem is different. Be in nature, talk to trusted people. Express yourself in different ways- artisticly or maybe there are some things you've always wanted to do but was scared? Do it. You want to tell something to somebody (relatives, family?) but for some reason can't- that's it- do it (or just try). Maybe you have some truth to spread and you don't for some reason? Do it. That all may help- I'm not saying it will for sure. Try to hear deeply what your body and mind needs. If the situation doesn't seem right at the moment- don't force yourself in it. Maybe you just need to be alone for some time and find out what you really need. But if you feel you want to be around people a lot- like in the past than try to get off the fear and think what do I have to loose? Think of all the things you could do to be happy and you don't because you're scared and do them as if there was no fear in the world and nothing would be stopping you. Try to maybe get back to the times you were more social and analize if anything happened that put the blockage on you and think of ways to overcome the past problem.

I hope that helps.
Love and Light to you

[starling]

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

Does anyone here have any experience with social anxiety and how to overcome it?

Mine started probably 10 years ago, prior to that I was very confident in social situations, in fact, I was the life of the party (or so I thought).

I just feel almost paralyzed in social settings now and often come across as abrasive, which is far from the truth. It would be all to easy for me to avoid social situations but I try to get out even though I feel like I would prefer to slink away into a dark corner.
It can make me act quite strange in public... I have some coping stratagies but they seem to get burned away in the heat of the moment.
I'm not getting any younger but I am getting pretty over it.

I think it's a well know fact that crowds are stressful situations. I was having this very conversation with my "boss" a few days ago.

A very few lucky people find them easy I guess. I do not.

Like Christmas you just grit your teeth and get through ti as best you can. Just remember you are not on your own and even those that appear to be coping probably just wish they were having a quiet conversation with some where.







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