I always get ignored?

[CherryCherry]

Hi all,

So I've noticed that in large groups of people I always get ignored. I'm not an insecure person and I'm very good at spending time with myself and enjoying it. So why do I get ignored when I speak? Obviously it my a be a vibe I put out?

However, if I'm with a big group of guys I am always involved and they always seem to be very welcoming and playful with me (protective too) but with most women they ignore me or talk over me, it pretty much feels like I'm invisible.

Why is this? Any ideas?

[wolfgaze]

Did you ever feel like you were ignored at home when you were a child or adolescent?

[yellow]

I'm not ignoring you!

No idea, but hope you have a super day today. Be happy

[Sojourner2013]

Originally Posted by CherryCherry

Hi all,

So I've noticed that in large groups of people I always get ignored. I'm not an insecure person and I'm very good at spending time with myself and enjoying it. So why do I get ignored when I speak? Obviously it my a be a vibe I put out?

However, if I'm with a big group of guys I am always involved and they always seem to be very welcoming and playful with me (protective too) but with most women they ignore me or talk over me, it pretty much feels like I'm invisible.

Why is this? Any ideas?

Hi CherryCherry,

I get the sense that this may be a subconscious behavior that you exude in the presence of females, as you state you are ok in a group of guys. Usually, that would indicate to me that you need to look into and redefine your definition of power in relation to being a woman and also, your historical life experiences with perceived "powerful" women.

I say that because it isn't the women in the group ignoring you, but your need (subconscious, probably) to defer power to a woman. IMO, it would indicate an overbearing female presence (s) in your developmental years. Then, work on developing a great, self-accepting affirmation! I hope this helps.

[The Elven Knight]

Study body language, become aware of non verbal communication, slightly mimic others body language, you won't get ignored anymore

[CherryCherry]

Originally Posted by Sojourner2013

Hi CherryCherry,

I get the sense that this may be a subconscious behavior that you exude in the presence of females, as you state you are ok in a group of guys. Usually, that would indicate to me that you need to look into and redefine your definition of power in relation to being a woman and also, your historical life experiences with perceived "powerful" women.

I say that because it isn't the women in the group ignoring you, but your need (subconscious, probably) to defer power to a woman. IMO, it would indicate an overbearing female presence (s) in your developmental years. Then, work on developing a great, self-accepting affirmation! I hope this helps.

My mother! She was very independent and strong willed although very loving towards me. She never really needed anyone but herself. Maybe it's this?

[Sojourner2013]

Originally Posted by CherryCherry

My mother! She was very independent and strong willed although very loving towards me. She never really needed anyone but herself. Maybe it's this?

Right, that would make sense then, because you didn't need to learn assertion or leadership, as your mother would have assumed that role perpetually. So, you learned to defer power and presence to a female, due to your mother's leadership and personality. Thus, in a group of females, you subconsciously assume that someone like your mother is in the group.

Easily fixable. You just need to start assuming you are just as capable of leading and asserting yourself, as a woman and with other women. Best wishes!

Were it me, I'd move to a different crowd. Are we talking about "small-talk" or in a more professional, specialised setting?

Because there's really no harm, especially being drawn into a new group, in staying quiet and being ignored for a while. That way, you quickly learn who talks rubbish and not. Otherwise, bide your time until something crops up in conversation about which you're supremely confident, then put your oar in. It's disconcerting, I know, but it also depends on a pecking order in groups of people who've known each other for some time. Hang around long enough, new people will arrive whereon they'd look on you as "part of the establishment."

...

[wolfgaze]

Sojourner is onto it!

[Clio_86]

Funny… I'm the same way and my mother is a very hilarious, friendly and chatty lady, while I am the opposite.

I have many male friends and seem to do better when one on one with women than in large groups. I notice in professional situations people always talk over me or ignore me. It's like since I am quiet and have a somewhat gentle personality people don't take me as seriously. However, my background is in writing/research and I'm currently in grad school and people are always thrown off when they find out I actually do quite well. I'm currently dealing with a bit of animosity towards me from some female peers. One who is a competitive aries and another a scorpio. I was actually thinking about this the other day and began categorizing my female friends who did not talk over me/ignore me/compete with me. Most have been libra's and I checked your profile… LOL. I seriously think female air signs get along really well with males and are super relaxed and less competitive than some other signs? That's just my experience.