Life Trying To Tell Me Something?

[MOLA]

Hello Everyone. :)

As I am about to go on my vacation for one month back to my home country, it seems that no matter who I talk to, or what I talk about, people always seem to find their way to a topic I really don't want to discuss more about; my ex-fiancee.

My ex-fiancee and I have fallen apart and we are not completely broken up. I broke off the engagement because of her cheating and dishonesty through long-distance. We haven't really talked about everything face-to-face to find closure (because of her not willing to end things in a proper way) So in a way, we're in a cliffhanger and I've already completely cut off contact with her.

What everyone always assumes or tells me is that I'll be seeing my ex-fiancee or try to get back with her; which is completely far from the truth. I am going on vacation to go see my friends and just to give myself the gift of relaxing for one whole month. Physically, mentally and spiritually, I need a break.

What do you think? I really don't want to shame myself again by having to go there to talk to her when I know the conversation won't amount to much.


Thanks! :)

Just don't talk to her/meet if you don't want to. If people want to talk about it and you don't, can you assert what you've said here "I have no further contact with her; nothing more to say on it"? If it goes on, turn the subject onto them - "No matter about me - how are you and (whoever) getting along?"

As the saying goes, the ball is in your court.

I think all life is trying to say is that you have to stand up for your independence/aloofness on this matter. If anything the people you speak of are testing your resolve. They may even be her emissaries. People who break the rules agreed between themselves meet their comeuppance sooner or later.

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[Electric_Dreams]

It seems that you are certain you dont want her back and you've cut all ties, so tell people that the relationship is completely over, not that its not fully broken off as you stated in your post. Its your choice and your perspective that counts. If she refuses to state its over for good, then thats her issue and not yours. Dont let her denial hold you back, as you are feeding into her denial by holding her view of the situation as your own if that makes sense. Use an affirmation every morning if it helps like "I am free and single and ready to move on with my life". Just remember by letting go, you give freedom to move on to you both��

[MOLA]

Originally Posted by lorelyen

Just don't talk to her/meet if you don't want to. If people want to talk about it and you don't, can you assert what you've said here "I have no further contact with her; nothing more to say on it"? If it goes on, turn the subject onto them - "No matter about me - how are you and (whoever) getting along?"

As the saying goes, the ball is in your court.

I think all life is trying to say is that you have to stand up for your independence/aloofness on this matter. If anything the people you speak of are testing your resolve. They may even be her emissaries. People who break the rules agreed between themselves meet their comeuppance sooner or later.

Thanks for the reply there. :)

It's been almost a month now since the last time I cut off contact with her. The people around me question if I really am just going on vacation or is really just traveling half way around the world for a girl that I'm not even with anymore. If anything, I've become annoyed of their constant skeptical behavior towards my vacation.

But it seems that I am forced to meet her when I get there to return her stuff; which is weird because the last time I talked to her before cutting off contact was her saying she's okay with not getting her stuff back, and me not getting my stuff back. All of a sudden today she brought this subject up again, to which I replied as shortly as possible.

I'm enjoying my life without all of her drama and I am learning to love and appreciate myself more because of it. I can see my worth and that my worth is not worth wasting my time for her.

Originally Posted by electric_dreams

It seems that you are certain you dont want her back and you've cut all ties, so tell people that the relationship is completely over, not that its not fully broken off as you stated in your post. Its your choice and your perspective that counts. If she refuses to state its over for good, then thats her issue and not yours. Dont let her denial hold you back, as you are feeding into her denial by holding her view of the situation as your own if that makes sense. Use an affirmation every morning if it helps like "I am free and single and ready to move on with my life". Just remember by letting go, you give freedom to move on to you both

I've come to the simple conclusion that if she really did love me, all this wouldn't happen. By following said conclusion, it makes it easier for me to accept the breakup. I am pretty confident that she has announced the relationship to be over way before it was actually over (when the cheating started)

I don't know if this makes sense. But I've grown to resent her and that made it easier for me to move on from her. I now see her from an objective point of view and I've decided that this was the best way it could've gone.

Thanks for your reply.

[Electric_Dreams]

Its good that you have found a way to move on. Just dont forget to truly let go of any lingering resentment, not just ignore it as suppressed resentment can be harmful to you spiritually and even physically.
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[MOLA]

Originally Posted by Electric_Dreams

Its good that you have found a way to move on. Just dont forget to truly let go of any lingering resentment, not just ignore it as suppressed resentment can be harmful to you spiritually and even physically.
��

The more time passes, the more I discover that these resentments eventually turn to indifference. When I think of her or see a picture of her, I don't feel anything now. No anger, no sadness, nothing. And I like it that way. :)