Greetings Hellabomer...
First and foremost I just want to remind & reassure you that how you find yourself feeling is not unusual nor uncommon. There is nothing 'wrong' with you. Others have found themselves feelings this way and experiencing such a state of being as well - myself included... You absolutely (over time) can heal/purify yourself and bring yourself to rise above your current state. There is an end to your hurting/suffering - you just have to continue to push yourself forward and work towards that goal...
Here are some suggestions for you:
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-Periodically take time to sit down and write down your most sensitive feelings/emotions. Really pour your heart out into your writing and just lay it all out. The very act of doing this is important because it enables you to consciously acknowledge and even
process everything that is present and unfolding within you - rather than hiding from it and suppressing it.
-Try to get into a routine of taking 45-60 minute walks, several times a week. While you are walking, allow yourself to consciously connect with your sensitive feelings/emotions and whatever has been afflicting you. It's important to try to do this while you are simultaneously walking/exercising. There is research that not only is walking an effective means for counteracting a depressed state of being, but the walking promotes healthy/constructive emotional processing because that motion/activity syncs both hemispheres of your brain (this is sometimes referred to as
bilateral therapy). See if you can get into this walking/exercising routine for a good several weeks and then be mindful of how you feel after reach walk and how you feel after a few weeks of doing this.
-Listen to uplifting and/or inspiring music regularly. For me, I prefer Classical music and also some Reggae music. There is also research about how Classical music has positive effects on the mind/body (see my thread in the Music subforum). Put on some classical music when you get home from work and are trying to relax, listen to it while you are cooking dinner or even just relaxing in the living room. Lots of compilations/playlists to be found on Youtube or elsewhere
-Search for reading material (books) in the spirituality/self-help/Consciousness genre. Keep searching for books until you find one which
really speaks to you on a deep level and challenges your current way of thinking about yourself your current manner of perceiving. You may go through 10/15/20 books which you really don't connect with and which don't don't have much effect on you. However when you find that one special book that's out there and waiting for you to explore - it can cause a
shift within you and the subsequent reflection & contemplation that it spurns can be absolutely life-changing over time. Keep searching for that special book. There are so many stories of individuals reporting coming across certain certain books which ended up having profound impact/influence on their lives (I experienced this).
-Look into practicing meditation or find some practice or activity which enables you to detach and pull back from the habitual activity of your physical mind. Anything which allows you to quiet your mind and relax your mind. The more time you can spend in such a state, the less momentum and influence your physical mind will have in terms of fueling the types of thoughts/thinking which has been dragging you down and which is not contributing to your well-being
-Try to spend increased time outside and ideally surrounding by nature.
-Look for opportunities to connect with animals. The influence of animals in our lives can be deeply healing. If you have a cat or dog, spend a good 30-45 minutes just petting and bonding with these animal companions. If you don't have any pets maybe you have some family/relatives/friends which do. Animals can influence you to be
present and to connect with them on their level of being (which isn't muddied up by the influence of incessant physical mind activity).
-Look for opportunities where you can do kind gestures/deeds for others - and act on them. Anything you can do to brighten someone's day or uplift/help/support another. Even the 'little things' are absolutely valuable and important. Bring a smile to someone's face, tell them they're doing a good job, thank them for something that they've done for you, donate things in your possession which may help benefit others, etc... This is important, valuable, and the cumulative effect of these actions will be substantially uplifting for your spirit. Reaching out to others and connecting with others in such a way will increasingly bring you to the awareness & understanding that you are not alone and you are
not a separate
being that's alone & disconnected from others - that you are divinely connected to something much larger, to the greater WHOLE. This will help bring you outside of and above your current and limited perception of 'self'.
-Instead of striving for the elusive experience of 'happiness', seek to experience contentment, acceptance, an absence of suffering. Happiness we associate (even subconsciously) with short-lived states of elation - which never last long. IMHO it's far more realistic to strive for a state of feeling content, for feeling acceptance for whatever is unfolding in the present moment, and for experiencing an absense of hurting/suffering. Think about it, would you really have any complaints if you found yourself feeling content and there was no undesirable mental/emotional activity present within you? I think you would certainly welcome that and you would not feel any lacking or insufficiency due to not experiencing what we typically associate with the concept of 'happiness'... I think it's wise to let go of that term ('happiness') and instead focus on thoughts of contentment, inner stillness, calmness, freedom from hurting/suffering, etc.
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There are mental/emotional 'blockages' within you which are serving to restrict your internal energy flow and this is causing you to feel disconnected from the full influence & energy of your HEART center. Again, it is not unusual nor uncommon that you are experiencing this. It is the 'great work' of a lifetime to refine yourself and bring about your healing/purification through significant emotinoal releases (purges) and through internal/spiritual growth. You have to keep conducting the important inner-work- continue engaging in intensive introspection (self-relflection) and deep contemplation. Continue questioning your current way of thinking and perceiving, continue opening up and expanding your state of Awareness. This is the key. Over time you are going to discover new
territory within your 'Self' and come to experience newfound states of being that you never knew were possible. Be patient, be determined, be strong, and be kind to yourself!
Okay I think that's all I wanted to communicate for now. I hope something expressed here proves to be helpful for you.
Regards,
~
WOLF
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