How can I help my friend?

I'm not sure where to post this but this seems the most relevent place.

My best friend and I went through this journey of enlightenment together. We ate right, meditated , looked after ourselves body & mind. By doing this we woke up to so many things and experienced the greatest things.

I still believe we both had and still do have a lot of old cobwebs and baggage that was not cleared , therefore not allowing the enlightenment to be full. I was aware of this and knew was quite open with the fact that I have issues to deal with. Him, on the other hand has had a much worse life than myself. his childhood was full of abuse and abandonment from his parents, hes suffered a lot of bullying from family and his peers, he was homeless... and more. Despite this I feel hes worked hard on perfecting his skills and his talents and im very proud of him. During the journey that we was on he came across further difficulties in his life , his friend died tragically and he had a bad breakup with his girlfriend. After this its like his life has been chaos since.

He seems to be in a big battle with himself at the moment. At first I thought he was fighting ME and it was all my fault the reason he felt like this (especially with the girlfriend thing as they broke up because she did not approve of our friendship) and he blames me directly sometimes about what is happeneing to him. I know this is mainly because everyone uped and left as soon as things got hard and I am the only one that's there to blame.
one point last year he didnt sleep for nearly a week and was ranting about random things and had to stay at his mums. His family are not very Patience and at that time we're already thinking about sending him to a place to 'help him' and telling him that he was 'sick' which obviously made him worse. He picked himself back up,on and off. Now hes back in it, possibly worse.

The stronger I get and more comfortable I am with myself the more I see that I'm not the problem. I know what it feels like to be traumatized by one event , so i can just about understand that he must be traumatized about the 100 things that have happened to him.


The thing is I know this needs to be dealt with soon. I dont think hes sick I just think the awakening forced him to look deep inside the darkest of places. But his family wont see that. I don't want them to try to get him put away and put on those medicated drugs. The other day I calmed him down just by being warm to him but this is only temporary because as soon as i warm him up he gets scared and keeps away from me, like hes protecting me.

He needs to stop before it gets worse.

I know he needs to talk but I need him to talk without saying mean things to me , not just because its hurtful but Ii feel if he doest he will never talk through the real cause of his problems. Its like he doesnt know how, like he wants to sometimes but stops himself and uses anger to express himself instead.How can I encourage him to talk to me and let all these feelings out, without him using his anger?

Originally Posted by Lilstar07

How can I encourage him to talk to me and let all these feelings out, without him using his anger?

Healing is not about talking.. healing is about letting go of your problems..

There is nothing you can do ever to make a person heal.. that is a fact!

And if you try to force yourself you can only make you and him worse.. not better..

What you need to do is simple.. be the best you! Put out the best vibration of love for yourself that you can.. and hope that he can match it.. anything less, is you lowering yor vibration and being caught in his cycle..

Originally Posted by Lilstar07

I know he needs to talk but I need him to talk without saying mean things to me not just because its hurtful

This is the whole problem.. how well are you holding your space??

Because if you "feel" or "hear" hurtful things from him.. your not holding it well at all.. your allowing his energy to affect your mood..

Have you ever been in a great mood before and someone comes up to you and says? "$#^#$^#$ you" "or you suck!" or anything like that?

And all the sudden your mood is gone.. cause your responding to this hostility..

There is a point where you hold yourself together and you are no longer in "reaction" or reacted to by anything people say.. it's not a easy point to get too.. but very BENIFICIAL to you!

Originally Posted by Lilstar07

He needs to stop before it gets worse.

No, you need to stop before you get worse.. you can't force fix people.. you can.. but you can't!

The most important journey on the planet is the "self" journey.. making others more important than your self can drop you into a world of hurt..

He is your friend or more.. I get that.. you care about him.. I get that.. but people have a right to make their own choices be they "negative" or "positive" that is there right via "free will"

Why are you not respecting his choices?

When the time comes and he wants to turn around from being "negative" and hating the world.. that is the time to be of assistance until than.. your really "meddling"

Originally Posted by Lilstar07

He seems to be in a big battle with himself at the moment.

All battles are with the self.. everything else is "illusion"

Have you ever tried explaining to your friend.. "law of attraction" and being responsible for what he created/allowed.. all these so called "abuses"?

See the reason why he feels like sh%$ is cause he is busy in denial and anger about things that if he'd just look at.. and accept responsibility and say "I allowed that" "I created that"

I didn't really like it.. but I can look at it from this empowered state that I create my reality and allowed this to happen.. there is no power in playing "the victim" there is power in accepting responsibility for the events and actions that happened to you/around you.. and then going.. I prefer to create this now..

Have you ever considered mentioning this.. or would he just throw a temper tantrum..?? you can't help people that don't want to be helped.. and you can't feed them information that will empower them and make them feel better unless they allow

Originally Posted by Lilstar07

I still believe we both had and still do have a lot of old cobwebs and baggage that was not cleared

Yes, very good statement.. make sure that you look to yourself.. and your baggage not your friends..

I say again..

Hold the best vibration you possibly can.. be the LIGHTHOUSE that shines I love myself.. and that reflection/that vibration you will offer to every person you see.. just as I offer it to you

And each time you offer it.. you give others a chance to "raise" there vibration..

Originally Posted by Lilstar07

I During the journey that we was on he came across further difficulties in his life , his friend died tragically and he had a bad breakup with his girlfriend. After this its like his life has been chaos since.

This is his baggage.. physically manifested in his life.. it's really for him to deal with and look at..

Understand that when you heal a person.. you don't heal them!

They heal themselves.. you simple hold a space/a vibration and then they join you.. but that is still choice!

You can offer comfort to your friend and a healing vibration.. but they don't have to take it.. don't know how many times I have to say that

Thanks a lot Master for that very construtive piece of advice. I appreciate it.

I think just coming on here and typing it all out makes me feel better. Once I write it out after I get the hysterical feelings out its like I just find the answers I need. I pretty much know what your saying. I know its me that needs to be that strenth on my own. Kind of lead by example thing. But a lot of what you said comfirms and reminds me of that.Its like once it gets to a certain time at night, when all is quiet and Ive busied myself throughout the day I come to a point where I just feel like I cant be that strong, Maybe its tiredness. I just find it hard to feel up when people I care about are down. Even when strangers are sad I am too lately.

The main worry is'nt really me or him. I understand what hes say and why hes behaviing like this. But I know other people dont. I just dont want them to do anything stupid and treat him like a mental patient.

However I know I am a big influence on him so this is more of a reason for me to pick MYSELF up and hopefully I can show him the way...like a lighthouse (I liked that one, hope you dont mind that I stole it there lol).

Originally Posted by Lilstar07

Thanks a lot Master for that very construtive piece of advice. I appreciate it.

I think just coming on here and typing it all out makes me feel better. Once I write it out after I get the hysterical feelings out its like I just find the answers I need. I pretty much know what your saying. I know its me that needs to be that strenth on my own. Kind of lead by example thing. But a lot of what you said comfirms and reminds me of that.Its like once it gets to a certain time at night, when all is quiet and Ive busied myself throughout the day I come to a point where I just feel like I cant be that strong, Maybe its tiredness. I just find it hard to feel up when people I care about are down. Even when strangers are sad I am too lately.

The main worry is'nt really me or him. I understand what hes say and why hes behaviing like this. But I know other people dont. I just dont want them to do anything stupid and treat him like a mental patient.

However I know I am a big influence on him so this is more of a reason for me to pick MYSELF up and hopefully I can show him the way...like a lighthouse (I liked that one, hope you dont mind that I stole it there lol).

Your very welcome!

Yes, be your own lighthouse.. and show the way

Your friend has to battle THROUGH mostly on his own........at least at this stage.

You can do little but the little you can do may be the difference!

He is dealing with SHADOW and it does not release easy......yet his choice to surrender is more powerful.

For both of you I suggest "The Shadow Effect" both the book and the DVD.
It will help you understand this deeper and then pass it on to him.

Thanks Racer I will check that out.