Do people try to keep you from your twin?

[Liz614]

Since I have met my twin, many people close to him have "warned" me about him. This also happens with my own friends and family. Everyone seems to know something I don't, and who is right? I don't know, but here's the rundown:

His mother - Very sweet lady who I've spent enough time with to get to know fairly well. She told me one time when he was outside that she wished she'd done a better job raising him and blames herself for not being able to teach him better. I know she witnessed me sticking it to my TF for being grumpy with me. It felt natural to me, but to others it's like "Omg, did she really just say that to him?" Yes I did. And he knows I don't take his [Edited by staff/Language Rule]

His uncle - Known him since he was 10, met him one night only and this guy had the opportunity, after many drinks with me (TF was sober and had left to go do something) that TF has aggressive tendencies and is very selfish.
Well TF is almost 40, maybe give the guy a chance to show he's matured instead of dwelling on how he was in his 20s? But I am open minded. Yes TF is indeed selfish, and he's learning since he met me, the emptiness that ultimately leads to. Uncle said "I just don't want to see you get hurt." TF has not had a real relationship in 15 years. Didn't allow himself too, for whatever reasons.

Friends - friends told me, in drunken states usually, everything from that he is not a sexual person ( A female friend said this) and warned me he is mean to her kid so I should beware (yet this friend seems to enjoy his company and invites him to a lot of things. She's engaged so it's not that she has feelings for him).

Other friends have suggested in many different ways that he is a difficult person, not relationship material, never seen him in love (expressed shock that he was in love with a woman because in 15 yrs they had not seen this).

MY friends, getting mad even now, insisting I can do better. My dad, says he is a shallow " in the moment" guy (never met him, just going by what I say), literally NO ONE has supported us being together past the first breakup.

Everyone is trying to protect me, but then I have one friend who says she is jealous of what I have and is not going to hide it from me.

Please share your own experiences with this because for me it's maddening, it's like everyone saying no, no , no and he and I are so in love but what we have fits no traditional bill, it's crazy and unconventional and challenging, and they think we are both suckers and weak, they have no idea...

[Natively Libran]

Some friends and family you're TF has. Wow. They act as though they're flawless and devoid of any hang ups. They also seem incredibly negative. Poor guy. It's too bad he had to be around this growing up. No one's perfect. I wouldn't listen to the naysayers. Trust yourself and have faith in him and your relationship.

I haven't met my TF's family, though he's shared a bit about each one through conversations. But for the most part, everyone including his friends and colleagues seems to love him. He can charm the socks off of anyone. Even when he acts like a fool, everyone just thinks he's adorable. The only thing standing between he and I in this moment are his ego and my pride. :)

He was previously in a relationship and I guess that was standing in the way somewhat but it was his choice to do that. For the most part any obstacles standing between us were self motivated. We created the challenges ourselves.

[gravitysrainbow]

I haven't met my TF in person, but I've had dreams about him where a protective third party tried to come between us. There were a lot of insults being hurled around - mostly about me and my shortcomings. I had a separate dream where the same person was asking me about my beliefs on true love and finding my TF and he was very condescending in telling me I was wrong and I was being too idealistic. I got very frustrated and said in sarcasm, "Oh okay, yeah - this is the thanks I get!" In my case, it could've been someone close to my TF or it could've been me, doubting myself on the soul connection - not too sure.

I don't know whether people just get protective or if they sense something is there and want to prevent the connection subconsciously. Maybe life just presents you with these uncertainties in order to overcome them and become stronger in your convictions. I just see it as yet another spiritual lesson.

[Laulau79]

Yep most people told me stay away. Warning stories, etc and it clouded my judgement rather than thinking about what it was realy about
Wish people would keep opinions to their self

[LadyMay]

I think you should pay heed, as they are telling you things about him related to lessons you need to learn.

[Liz614]

Originally Posted by Natively Libran

Some friends and family you're TF has. Wow. They act as though they're flawless and devoid of any hang ups. They also seem incredibly negative. Poor guy. It's too bad he had to be around this growing up. No one's perfect. I wouldn't listen to the naysayers. Trust yourself and have faith in him and your relationship.

I haven't met my TF's family, though he's shared a bit about each one through conversations. But for the most part, everyone including his friends and colleagues seems to love him. He can charm the socks off of anyone. Even when he acts like a fool, everyone just thinks he's adorable. The only thing standing between he and I in this moment are his ego and my pride. :)

He was previously in a relationship and I guess that was standing in the way somewhat but it was his choice to do that. For the most part any obstacles standing between us were self motivated. We created the challenges ourselves.

Thanks, I'm trusting myself. I know people have judged me from a certain time of my life and never let go of that, or one bad choice I made, etc. It hurts me to see people he thinks love him talking about him negatively. I'm a grown woman and can find things out on my own. It's not like they're warning me about something dire. Besides, I know he is full of flaws and bad habits and I love him for all of it, it's who he is/where is right now and I know he's trying to be a better person. He admits to me that he knows he needs to change and wants to be a better person.

If he was aggressive towards anyone in his past he hasn't been with me. I think the guilt would kill him. He feels really bad when he's called me a crazy witch (with a b) once or twice during one of our arguments (I had a tendency to down a bottle of wine and blow his phone up with texts). He tells me he never, ever wants to hurt me and I believe him. I feel bad because I've called him a lot of things and called him out on a lot of things he does that don't make sense to me. He always forgives me.

I just think they've never seen him in an actual relationship with a woman besides one 15 years ago, very young love that lasted many years. Not sure what happened there but he is very guarded with his heart, he openly shows love but then when we get too close he withdraws which prompts me to panic and act needy and unhappy, which ultimately leads to a breakup. He seems skeptical that I could love him as much as I do. He doesn't know why. I don't have to have a reason! But he struggles to accept my love, probably because deep down he doesn't believe he deserves it.

To Scarlett Hayden, I've taken the warnings and acknowledged that yes, this is a broken man, but I am broken woman too. I know if we were to try to commit right now and have something "normal" it would be a matter of when, not if, we next imploded. He is truly inspiring me from afar, and there is a great exchange of love between us at all times. We both need to heal, and it's comforting to know he is out there on the same path as me, feeling as I do, and longing for me too, and I hope we can come together again many times this year to witness each other's progress, and most of all, recharge each other, reassure each other of our unconditional love. In short, the warnings aren't anything I didn't already figure out and accept about him, my ex husband could "warn" people about a lot of things with me, he never understood me and holds jealousy and resentment. He is even jealous of how I love my twin. He said he would never get away with what my twin does. How can I respond to that? It's just a whole different matter. I am not choosing to love this man, I am powerless not to, no matter what he does.
I guess there is the possibility that the uncle and friends at least, are jealous of my twin because he is very successful in his career and has an amazing life, and now a loving woman? One of his friends even hit on me several times and this is a friend my TF holds dear.

One of his big issues he is dealing with now is realizing that his friendships are not as deep to his friends as they are to him, because he is unable to have deep connection, so in his mind they are deep but to his friends, it's a shallow connection with him. A drinking friend, not someone to lean on if you had a crisis. He recently disowned several family members as well. Meeting me seems to be helping him see who really cares about him and who just uses him. For that I am very happy. It's crazy when you see all the changes that happen in you and your TF's lives after you meet.

[Natively Libran]

Originally Posted by Liz614

Thanks, I'm trusting myself. I know people have judged me from a certain time of my life and never let go of that, or one bad choice I made, etc. It hurts me to see people he thinks love him talking about him negatively. I'm a grown woman and can find things out on my own. It's not like they're warning me about something dire. Besides, I know he is full of flaws and bad habits and I love him for all of it, it's who he is/where is right now and I know he's trying to be a better person. He admits to me that he knows he needs to change and wants to be a better person.

If he was aggressive towards anyone in his past he hasn't been with me. I think the guilt would kill him. He feels really bad when he's called me a crazy witch (with a b) once or twice during one of our arguments (I had a tendency to down a bottle of wine and blow his phone up with texts). He tells me he never, ever wants to hurt me and I believe him. I feel bad because I've called him a lot of things and called him out on a lot of things he does that don't make sense to me. He always forgives me.

I'm right there with you. I'm human and nowhere near perfect. I've done some really good and bad things in my life. At different stages of my life, I'd even question who I was in those moments, because it was so out of character for me, but it's the phases we go through as we evolve and grow up in this life. Keep your relationship between you too. Learn to protect that love you have for each other. People may never admit it but they are probably jealous. I've got like a handful of friends getting married this year, and I'm over the moon happy for them, but as a single woman (who has no plans of ever getting married), I do get a bit jealous of them. Having found someone to share their lives with. I'm human and not ashamed to admit that.

I have one friend who is constantly ripping apart men because of her bad experiences with them. I take space from her, though I love her, because she can be a major negative Nancy and being around all that negativity can really throw you off of your equilibrium. I'm a straight shooter and I'm not afraid to go head to head with anyone. She's protective of me, but I'm protective of the connection I have with my TF. I refuse to have anyone come in and stir things up. I'm all for advice and input with pure intent, not for selfish or deceptive means. Take all the advice you receive from others about him with a grain of salt. They tend to tell you more about themselves, then him, in what they say. Continue to be alert and perceptive, and have faith in yourself and judgement. You know what's best for you.

[Ascension]

They have indeed , no idea ...