You Create your own Reality .Maybe?

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by ameliorate

I don't understand this. How can a 'friend' take on the task of being mean to you?
Surely there are less prolonged and devastating ways of learning lessons?

Ha - you would think ...each person's case is so individual!
For me - I needed a BRICK to fall on my head ...Rem I said I get these 'visions'?
Well, I know of, saw, TWO lives*, (then this one!) --- where I had the same darn terrible issue.
I happen to be a SLOW learner and I was stuck in a darn pattern.
He alone was kind enough to help me get out of this 'loop'!!

I always like to mention the profound insight people can gain from Robert Schwartz's research on our Soul's Plan.
3 thick books and many youtube interviews.


* Embarrassing and humbling

[ameliorate]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

I happen to be a SLOW learner and I was stuck in a darn pattern.
He alone was kind enough to help me get out of this 'loop'!!

So, by agreeing to take on the 'task' of being mean to you i.e. 31 years of emotional abuse is a way of showing kindness re. lessons learnt!? Jeez...they must be SOME lessons!!!

I can't get my head round finding this believable (much less acceptable!) It really feels like twisted logic and allows (controversial) acceptance of all kinds of abusive actions in the name of lessons to be learned. Whilst we can, indeed, learn from harsh experiences, not everyone does i.e. just plain suffering is the norm. Furthermore (and worryingly) those committing abuses may look to justify their actions in this way....!

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by ameliorate

Jeez...they must be SOME lessons!!!

Well, I am embarrassed to say...I still did not learn the lesson.
Rem I said I was stuck and a VERY slow learner?

About 3 decades AFTER my father died...I met someone that hurt me many times to the core, holy cow to the core.
I did FINALLY learn what I needed to learn.

You don't have to believe a word of what I say, nor agree - just telling my personal journey...not one person here needs
to glean a darn thing from it.
I mean just saying I 'saw' my In-between conversation with my dad...
is a hard thing to wrap your head around, I know.

[Bluto]

Originally Posted by ameliorate

I don't understand this. How can a 'friend' take on the task of being mean to you? Surely there are less prolonged and devastating ways of learning lessons?

It depends what the soul needs to learn. If the soul needs to learn the absolute power of forgiveness, and the virtue of empathy, what better way to learn those than being placed into a situation which engenders the conditions for them? Imagine two closely bonded and eternal souls in heaven. Twin flames if you will. Imagine the following discussion between them:

Soul 1: I really need to learn the power of forgiveness. I'm getting it, slowly, but my previous 37 incarnations haven't quite delivered the absolute yet.

Soul 2: What would really make you learn that?

Soul 1: I suppose something horrific happening in that horrible physical plane over there they call Earth. It would give me the correct opportunity to overcome hatred, and learn authentic forgiveness. It would also help me learn to empathise with those that do evil, so empathise with them choosing a path of darkness in their heart. It would therefore help my ascension into the angelic realms, my true path.

Soul 2: Would you like me to reincarnate with you, and I'll do the horrific thing?

Soul 1: You'd do that for me? You'd reincarnate in that awful hellish Earth for 80+ years, just to help me learn this lesson?

Soul 2: Yes, because I love you completely and unconditionally, and your ascension is important to me. Seeing you earn your wings means everything to me. I will do that for you. It will also help me, for when I transition back here, my life review will show me how I effected you, so I shall learn something about love and empathy too, on my journey with you to the angelic realms.

Soul 1: You're right, and it is only a ridiculously short experience compared with the eternity we exist in here. It'll be over in the blink of an eye, then we can rest here and reflect on it later. Wow! what an opportunity for growth! Let's go.

[Miss Hepburn]

Hi, Bluto - you get it, yes...this scenario may help others understand better.

[Altair]

The belief comes after the fact. We grow up, develop our brains/mind, and then it will think about this and in some cases it will make a belief. But there's really no reason to believe you ''create'' your place of birth, date of birth, parents, and every little activity that you will do. If you do then literally nothing you do now and no choice you make matters, as it would all be predetermined and justifiable anyway. So no point even asking the question in that case.

[ameliorate]

Originally Posted by Bluto

It depends what the soul needs to learn. If the soul needs to learn the absolute power of forgiveness, and the virtue of empathy, what better way to learn those than being placed into a situation which engenders the conditions for them?

Yes I 'get' the agreed method/contract - just have an issue in it taking '31 years of emotional abuse' for the lesson to be learnt! Surely that entails extensive damage? Miss Hepburn has qualified that it's because she's a slow learner. I fully respect that this is what works for her, i.e. what she needed but am finding it too conflicting to accept, logically, that this can be a beneficial means of learning a lesson. As mentioned in my previous post, it brings up further worrying scenarios if this is to be taken on board as being helpful/beneficial.

[Hemera]

I honestly don't believe that we are in control of everything in our lives. That said, I do think we create a great deal of what we experience through our beliefs and expectations. It's easier for me to witness this in other people. I used to know someone who was incredibly negative about everyone and everything and it's unbelievable what used to happen to her -life seemed to go out of its way to irritate her through the most random of events like her car alarm repeatedly going off for no reason and picking up fines for the most obscure things. I think life does reflect the energy we give out since we are energy ourselves. But sometimes life does its thing and it's not personal at all. At least, that's my perspective on the matter.

[Miss Hepburn]

Hi Amy - Maybe this will help you understand more. If during that 31 yrs...
I had a circle of normal nice relatives and friends..my Dad was one person...
that after 18, I didn't even see or visit that much even.

Now, if you put all the moments of emotional abuse together - I'll betcha they would add up to (off the top) 2 hours...maybe 2.75 hrs.
It taught me to have meanness in all it's many forms, roll off me, (oil off a duck's back) and to not BE that way to others.
It was a perfect scenario for 'me'.

'Your' scenario in a life (to learn something) might have been smothered in love! Mine was 'this' to get thru to me.
.....
Does everyone reading here recall in a Hypnosis, Past Life Regression of Dr. Brian Weiss' - a couple with big problems
were regressed and they had
52 lives together where one killed the other.
Ref: 'Many Lives, Many Masters'.

There are others way slower then me.

[Bluto]

Originally Posted by ameliorate

Yes I 'get' the agreed method/contract - just have an issue in it taking '31 years of emotional abuse' for the lesson to be learnt!

That's 31 human years upon Earth. In light of the eternal soul, that's barely a breaking of wind.

It might upset a human, in a human body, during one particular reincarnation, but the emotional abuse might also occur during only that one incarnation. This means all the other years on this plane of existence, and on the other, are not spent enduring emotional abuse.

There's also the question of "what do you choose to do with the emotional abuse"? Do you choose to hang onto it and let it shape a victim mentality, breeding resentment and negativity along with it, or do you choose to conquer it by framing it as an opportunity to learn how to truly forgive? From the perspective of your eternal soul, which is more fruitful? For you here, now, on earth, which is more fruitful?