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[awakeningheart]

I also feel, as SQ does, that this journey is a lifetime commitment in letting go - a process as SQ says. For me it's a constant re-evaluating of my own spiritual journey. And the fact that I have a TF in my life has opened up the doors and allowed me to progress a little faster.

And imho, the emotional 'surges', the ups and downs, the crying, the joy - it's all part of the process. It is the spiritual/emotional/physical way of bringing the body and mind into energetic balance. If you can observe and allow it out, it will make things much easier.

[Topaz]

Try and find peace with in yourself , be positive and stay centred in your heart. Think out of the box and hand it over to the Universe . One has to move forward for miracles to manifest and forgiveness and letting go of the emotion from the past is the key .

It was me who said it because you ARE making progress :) all this is part of it - contract and expand wider than you were - even the pain allows growth as does doubts and fears - it brings them to light and helps us to release...it will be an evolving process no end as such - look positively at it - whatever the reason for your latest emotions - it IS movement - it is movement of energy - if it's yours from the being you knkw or in another dimension or if its hers it doesn't matter - the Universe is listening and responding - you are creating movement of energy - if it remained the same wouldn't that cause you to doubt more?

Because you are experiencing emotions provoking thought do you think you are going backwards? Have no fear my friend you are stepping forth xxx

Originally Posted by WhiteWolfSpirit

I am trying to, I really am. I've made so much progress, from where I was. I feel comfortable with where my life is going these next few years, like I've never been, in my entire 37 years of life. I'm pretty sure it was even you, who said that I was doing great, going out and doing the work my TF and I were meant to do together, on my own. I'm doing that, and I still am.

I would like to think there's hope for us. I am certain, beyond all doubt, of the great things we could do together. I'm also certain, beyond a doubt, that if we truly unite, neither of us would ever look back. I've looked back at our first time together... and it's true, I wasn't ready for her, even though I was ready to try anyway. I know some of you say I'm still not ready, and when I'm in a phase like this moment, it might be true. But I really do feel like I'm ready for her, and I appreciate her on a level I never did before, as much as I loved her. I get everything about her now, accept it all, love every bit of it.

Again, if I hadn't suddenly started getting overrun by these emotional surges, and the dreams, I'm pretty sure I'd still be in the place of peace I was at not long ago. There HAS to be some reason all of this is suddenly coming at me though, isn't there? If it's just another test, it's a cruel one, and I'm not afraid to say that. Cruelty has no place in love of this level. So, it must be something else. But what?

This has turned into a mammoth thread because it is REAL and the truth of what we all experience - ebbs and flows - ups and downs - facing fears, uncertainties, feelings of doubt - fearing to trust and find out that it didn't turn out the way we expected.

But if nothing else you WILL be more than you ever dreamed you would be - this journey is evolving your soul - you will not be disappointed regardless of the outcome - it is hard to see this now as I know too I cannot conceive being happy with any outcome unless it involves final union with Jay - but I have to trust that my soul knows what it is doing and would do nothing to my detriment...

Originally Posted by Loving_Soul

Because you are experiencing emotions provoking thought do you think you are going backwards? Have no fear my friend you are stepping forth xxx

If they cause me to sink back into the depression, and the endless messaging that I sometimes engaged in, of the last two years, then yes, I would say I would be going backwards. When you combine my natural missing of her presence, with these unbelievably powerful emotions I feel from her... the urge to reach out to her is almost impossible to resist.

I've said this before too, and to some it sounds selfish or something, but it's really not. I *am* moving forward, and doing so much better... and I *want* her to see it. Not because I think it will attract her back to me... but because I want her to feel good about it. She felt terrible guilt over leaving, and she felt even worse guilt about the state I'd fallen in to. It would make her soul smile to know how far I've come.

Originally Posted by Loving_Soul

This has turned into a mammoth thread because it is REAL and the truth of what we all experience - ebbs and flows - ups and downs - facing fears, uncertainties, feelings of doubt - fearing to trust and find out that it didn't turn out the way we expected.

But if nothing else you WILL be more than you ever dreamed you would be - this journey is evolving your soul - you will not be disappointed regardless of the outcome - it is hard to see this now as I know too I cannot conceive being happy with any outcome unless it involves final union with Jay - but I have to trust that my soul knows what it is doing and would do nothing to my detriment...

Mammoth thread is right, and it's been all over the place, hehe. I do know that this journey is changing me, that I am evolving. And you're right... I can't see what you say. If I never see her again, I will be very disappointed. Disappointed not just for me, but for the world. I know that sounds really conceited... but I can see so clearly, the work we would do, and I can see the love we would spread together. I can do a lot on my own, but I cannot replicate the power that is around us, when we are together. There's a reason, after all, that TFs come together, for their mission. They CANNOT do it on their own, not completely.

[EricDraven]

WWS, As similiar as many of our stories may be, no one here can completely understand where you, or another, are with your state of development, current or past. It definitely does have cycles of ups and downs.

I agree with everything all have mentioned. I'm sure you wonder how that could be when some seem to conflict perhaps.

It's because there are different patterns, tendencies, or desires I've observed in my own experience so far. At different points/stages along the path we are guided to feel and act in certain fashions, all a part of a path that, so clearly to me, involves fate. I do believe our lives are highly directed, highly as in greatly and as in from a Higher Source. I realize it now to such a degree as I type this I wonder to myself "why bother", because it just seems so clear to me that we just have to go through certain things at certain times. But our need and desire to be of service and give love to others is also an important lesson for us all while here.

I've been through and back to many different stages, including the make contact or not. Trust and have faith, or take action and attempt to control the process. Had I not made the efforts I had, I would not have seen what I now see so clearly, that I have to have faith and trust the process. I am not saying you should not attempt contact, it may be the next required step for you. And even a result you wouldn't prefer still leads to the next step, whatever it may be for you.

Example, your desire to make contact, it may result in an outcome you would right now consider favorable. If not, I have zero doubt that it would be because it's suppose to be that way, leading you further down the path for your benefit, ultimately. That you are in a state of uncertainty, perhaps a limbo of not understanding, is not an accident as others have said. Our situation is so similiar in this regard. It does have a purpose.

As far as getting feelings from the other, that doesn't necessarily mean that they are also aware of it. They may be feeling it, or it may be coming from a deeper soul level they are completely unaware of for now.

I see and feel in your words such a familiarity, I understand the huge hole that seems to be there. But I've also moved beyond simply examining the physical world whys and what ifs, not that those thoughts are entirely gone. There is much more happening here at deeper and higher levels.

Understanding the many theories on our souls evolution and the many reasons why the soul may want us to experience what we're going through can bring much relief, if not freedom. I have sustained periods of freedom, not that the connection leaves, I've simply acquired some understanding that has helped me.

It seems many here are experiencing an awakening, through the heart. But we still have human brains and the need for understanding. You can help this battle between heart and human mind by feeding it new information, train it just as we were all trained so far. You live in the states, so I know you've got a Barnes and Noble or Borders somewhere. Go to a bookstore, stand in the New Age, Eastern religion, or Philosophy section and let books 'jump' out at you. You WILL be guided to info appropriate for you at this stage.

I suggest this to you, and many others here, because you are so desperate for answers on a physical level that just may not be available to you yet or ever, for a reason, but you can through your physical brain gain understanding of many spiritual understandings and concepts, such as 'vibration' simply by studying them that may ease the confusion and lead to some if not complete acceptance and understanding.

You accept that this is a relationship of a spiritual nature, yes? Then how better to understand it than by grasping what we are beyond the physical. I occasionally still fight with my logic and reason, trying to find rational answers from an experience that is everything BUT rational. That you are uncertain of a Higher power isn't surprising, but I want to suggest to you that this may be happening among other higher reasons, to guide you to discover that.

Since this thread's about seeking answers, the best way you can do this is by connecting with your true nature, your higher self. And through meditation, and studying about spiritual concepts, will help you immensely. I agree with the others that there may have been signs you've missed, or misinterpreted, and no signs are signs as well. Only you can know this, when it's the right time for you to know. This state you are in is not an accident, and it may feel like a cruel lesson/test, and I surely understand that, but our souls desire a full experience that clearly involves pain. There are reasons for it.

Even the confusion you feel now is likely for a purpose and guiding you towards something. Every day that passes I believe more and more that we are here with very little to no control over what's happening, except, maybe, how we react to it all.

I surely wish you the best, and that you find as soon as possibly allowed a place of peace for yourself. And I do believe that will happen.

Originally Posted by WhiteWolfSpirit

If they cause me to sink back into the depression, and the endless messaging that I sometimes engaged in, of the last two years, then yes, I would say I would be going backwards. When you combine my natural missing of her presence, with these unbelievably powerful emotions I feel from her... the urge to reach out to her is almost impossible to resist.

I've said this before too, and to some it sounds selfish or something, but it's really not. I *am* moving forward, and doing so much better... and I *want* her to see it. Not because I think it will attract her back to me... but because I want her to feel good about it. She felt terrible guilt over leaving, and she felt even worse guilt about the state I'd fallen in to. It would make her soul smile to know how far I've come.


Mammoth thread is right, and it's been all over the place, hehe. I do know that this journey is changing me, that I am evolving. And you're right... I can't see what you say. If I never see her again, I will be very disappointed. Disappointed not just for me, but for the world. I know that sounds really conceited... but I can see so clearly, the work we would do, and I can see the love we would spread together. I can do a lot on my own, but I cannot replicate the power that is around us, when we are together. There's a reason, after all, that TFs come together, for their mission. They CANNOT do it on their own, not completely.

Keep this vision WWS - you are not being asked to forget it or let it go - you are being asked to learn patience & trust that WHEN you are both ready and can offer more together than apart then you will be reunited - but to be ready you both must be fully awakened to all that you are apart - then when you reunite it will be not be for need of each other - it will be in joy of being in Oneness for the greater purpose :)

In answer to your original question...i thought maybe you are too caught up in your own feelings to catch up any sign?? it could interfere you know

Originally Posted by Loving_Soul

Keep this vision WWS - you are not being asked to forget it or let it go - you are being asked to learn patience & trust that WHEN you are both ready and can offer more together than apart then you will be reunited - but to be ready you both must be fully awakened to all that you are apart - then when you reunite it will be not be for need of each other - it will be in joy of being in Oneness for the greater purpose :)

I am trying, extremely hard... but I'm failing at the patience, at the moment. Emails have been sent... nothing loving, just conciliatory friendship, but... I want things to be OK between us, so badly. I'm not impatient for the reunion, but I'm hugely impatient that things not be so bad between us; and I'm sure I'll end up making it even worse :/ It's just impossible for me to believe she can be so repulsed by me, when I *know* what's in my heart for her is so beautiful.

[Topaz]

Originally Posted by WhiteWolfSpirit

I am trying, extremely hard... but I'm failing at the patience, at the moment. Emails have been sent... nothing loving, just conciliatory friendship, but... I want things to be OK between us, so badly. I'm not impatient for the reunion, but I'm hugely impatient that things not be so bad between us; and I'm sure I'll end up making it even worse :/ It's just impossible for me to believe she can be so repulsed by me, when I *know* what's in my heart for her is so beautiful.

Whitewolfspirit I feel the same about my soul connection . I have never come across anybody in my life time who has cut me off so quickly and yet loved them so dearly . One minute you have it all and the next they sail off into the sunset with no answers , no gain ,no pain and no emotion.