Mutual admiration in sameness and differences

[JustBe]

I was standing in a rather long queue at the supermarket recently. It was after 9pm so the staffing was limited to only a few. The normal self serve area was closed due to the lack of available staff at this time of the night.

At the time of my arrival in the queue, there was only one service lady, one being served by her, two in front of me and then myself. After a few minutes about five more arrived behind me. The service lady was doing her best to get through the current ladies groceries, she wasn’t at all slow, if anything, she was very efficient.

I had a young man behind me with one item. He began fussing out loud about being held up, complaining about why the self serve wasn’t open for the increasing numbers. I turned around thinking he was talking to someone, but then realised he was talking out loud. I then decided in my less impatient mode to listen and acknowledge him. After he finished venting, I said, “you go before me if you like”. He was uncomfortable and said “no” I’m ok. I said it again, only this time I added I had more than him. He this time agreed and moved in front of me. He put his head down and was slightly uncomfortable in his receiving. As he held his head down he began asking me about my day, what had I been doing and then shared about his. At some point we managed eye contact and he genuinely showed appreciation to my offering. In the meantime two people back an older man yells to the service lady his impatience. He tells her quite angrily to
call in some help. He carries on for a bit. I noticed the service lady then panic and she motioned for help as best she could. The guy in front of me acknowledges his reaction, by saying. “Yeah we’re tired mate, we just want to yo get home after working all day. I turn and smile at the same man.

About thirty seconds on from this moment, I hear a crash. The verbally loud man has dropped his groceries, or st least some of them, he was carrying. I turn to see the lady behind me bending down helping him pick them up.

As I looked ahead of me, I saw faces of patience change to impatience.

I realize I was witnessing the ripple affect in a few ways at this point. The young man ahead of me thanks me before moving forward to be served. He says. “I hope I can help you one day in return”. I smiled.

When it was my turn to get to the checkout, the lady apologised for the long wait. I assured her, I was completely fine. I offered to pack my groceries so she could attend to the other man, now right behind me. I felt the air between them. It was awkward and tense. He asked for his cigarettes and off I went.

When I arrived home I thought to myself about what it all meant in me witnessing this ripple affect. Then I realised, If a situation similiar or related arose, I will let the person in the back stalls who dropped his groceries, go before me.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by JustBe

I was standing in a rather long queue at the supermarket recently. It was after 9pm so the staffing was limited to only a few. The normal self serve area was closed due to the lack of available staff at this time of the night.

At the time of my arrival in the queue, there was only one service lady, one being served by her, two in front of me and then myself. After a few minutes about five more arrived behind me. The service lady was doing her best to get through the current ladies groceries, she wasn’t at all slow, if anything, she was very efficient.

I had a young man behind me with one item. He began fussing out loud about being held up, complaining about why the self serve wasn’t open for the increasing numbers. I turned around thinking he was talking to someone, but then realised he was talking out loud. I then decided in my less impatient mode to listen and acknowledge him. After he finished venting, I said, “you go before me if you like”. He was uncomfortable and said “no” I’m ok. I said it again, only this time I added I had more than him. He this time agreed and moved in front of me. He put his head down and was slightly uncomfortable in his receiving. As he held his head down he began asking me about my day, what had I been doing and then shared about his. At some point we managed eye contact and he genuinely showed appreciation to my offering. In the meantime two people back an older man yells to the service lady his impatience. He tells her quite angrily to
call in some help. He carries on for a bit. I noticed the service lady then panic and she motioned for help as best she could. The guy in front of me acknowledges his reaction, by saying. “Yeah we’re tired mate, we just want to yo get home after working all day. I turn and smile at the same man.

About thirty seconds on from this moment, I hear a crash. The verbally loud man has dropped his groceries, or st least some of them, he was carrying. I turn to see the lady behind me bending down helping him pick them up.

As I looked ahead of me, I saw faces of patience change to impatience.

I realize I was witnessing the ripple affect in a few ways at this point. The young man ahead of me thanks me before moving forward to be served. He says. “I hope I can help you one day in return”. I smiled.

When it was my turn to get to the checkout, the lady apologised for the long wait. I assured her, I was completely fine. I offered to pack my groceries so she could attend to the other man, now right behind me. I felt the air between them. It was awkward and tense. He asked for his cigarettes and off I went.

When I arrived home I thought to myself about what it all meant in me witnessing this ripple affect. Then I realised, If a situation similiar or related arose, I will let the person in the back stalls who dropped his groceries, go before me.

This is a very important lesson for me...I am usually the one who is grumbling about the lack of service staff, more than being personally inconvenienced. Then again, I must admit to being an impatient person.

The Universe always says to me in response: "if you want to rush towards your grave, just let me know and we can dispense with all of these inconvenient formalities of life".

After which, I usually check myself, recompose myself and take out my iPod and earphones...listening to Vedic mantras and turning the volume WAY up to drown out the sounds of everyone around me who are all whining much worse than I was.

I also admit to not letting others in before me..but the waves of that "ripple effect" hasn't reached me yet...and I am forever stuck waiting for it to do so, instead of "making my own waves" until I realise that this is what everybody else is doing too...until Gandhi breaks through and goes "Be that Change You Wish to See in the World".

The conditioning is difficult to break through sometimes...you are running late for an appointment...you get every red light between "point A" and "point B"...until you find yourself choking the life out of your steering wheel, only to realise that if you had of left ten minutes earlier to compensate for all of the red lights, they would all be green...which is also incredibly annoying...but hey, at least you won't be late!

It is the smallest of mercies that we need to show the most gratitude for.

Thank you for that lesson and the timely reminder.

[Unseeking Seeker]

***

Very meaningful indeed. And as we increase degree of difficulty, we can possibly extrapolate this to the understanding that there are no difficulties actually, save those artificially created by association and expectation

***

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

This is a very important lesson for me...I am usually the one who is grumbling about the lack of service staff, more than being personally inconvenienced. Then again, I must admit to being an impatient person.

The Universe always says to me in response: "if you want to rush towards your grave, just let me know and we can dispense with all of these inconvenient formalities of life".

After which, I usually check myself, recompose myself and take out my iPod and earphones...listening to Vedic mantras and turning the volume WAY up to drown out the sounds of everyone around me who are all whining much worse than I was.

I also admit to not letting others in before me..but the waves of that "ripple effect" hasn't reached me yet...and I am forever stuck waiting for it to do so, instead of "making my own waves" until I realise that this is what everybody else is doing too...until Gandhi breaks through and goes "Be that Change You Wish to See in the World".

The conditioning is difficult to break through sometimes...you are running late for an appointment...you get every red light between "point A" and "point B"...until you find yourself choking the life out of your steering wheel, only to realise that if you had of left ten minutes earlier to compensate for all of the red lights, they would all be green...which is also incredibly annoying...but hey, at least you won't be late!

It is the smallest of mercies that we need to show the most gratitude for.

Thank you for that lesson and the timely reminder.

How refreshing your honesty touches on this topic, in ways you are willing to self reflect and show courage to become more consciously aware.

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by Unseeking Seeker

***

Very meaningful indeed. And as we increase degree of difficulty, we can possibly extrapolate this to the understanding that there are no difficulties actually, save those artificially created by association and expectation

***

Yes.

We all face difficulty in our own way, where we are within, what we come to know to be.

The view of realities service environments, shows me the nature of myself and service as one whole source.

[ocean breeze]

Should've yelled at the service lady to hurry up. Give her a mean stare, throw items on the floor. Said to her "if you didn't move like such a turtle, you wouldn't need to apologize to begin with." Always add more fuel to the ripple effect.

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by ocean breeze

Should've yelled at the service lady to hurry up. Give her a mean stare, throw items on the floor. Said to her "if you didn't move like such a turtle, you wouldn't need to apologize to begin with." Always add more fuel to the ripple effect.

Your joker self is becoming an ocean beyond its breeze..😉

[inavalan]

You don't know what's in others' heads. We may judge them, and we may be wrong. We may be proud of ourselves, and we may be wrong.

[ocean breeze]

Originally Posted by JustBe

Your joker self is becoming an ocean beyond its breeze..😉

Ha ha. But in all seriousness, i know what its like being in that service lady's position. I worked at a very busy bank. All the other employees are busy as we were short staff. There is a long line. A customer comes in with 5 or more different transactions to do, the guy at the drive-thru is honking his horn waiting to be taken care of, the phone rings, i have ask a supervisor for an override, etc. Like you're one person trying to do many different things at once. Can't really blame some people for being mad or impatient. Sometimes you get yelled at or talked down to.

Originally Posted by inavalan

You don't know what's in others' heads. We may judge them, and we may be wrong. We may be proud of ourselves, and we may be wrong.

Yep. Some of the nice ones may be really mean and some of the ones that come of as rude may be really nice. Sometimes people also change as times goes by. Probably because they are more use to you. This my experience when working with customers.

But i do feel people pick up on each others energies knowingly or unknowingly which can cause that ripple effect mentioned in the OP.

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by inavalan

You don't know what's in others' heads. We may judge them, and we may be wrong. We may be proud of ourselves, and we may be wrong.

We don’t know the full story of others. I agree. All the same behaviours and responses to behaviours can reveal how we feel, what story we tell ourselves and what choice we make in the face of what we are experiencing in all that.