I've lost several pets over the last few years and one again last night. Her name was Fifi. She was a teacup poodle who would have turned 10-years-old last month. She was actually my mom's dog but I had been helping her take care of her ever since she got her 3 1/2 years ago, so she grew close to me as well as her. I was also around her just as much as she was since I currently live at home.
Last night I felt a cool wet sensation on my fingers even though my blankets were covering my hands. Then maybe a little wet sensation on my face. I also felt a drop in temperature. After that feeling went away I felt something plop up against my leg. It felt small and just a tad bit weighted. I couldn't help but think this may have been Fifi. I wish I had said her name. Was this her way of saying good-bye? Or can I expect more encounters like this?
She had cancer, so I tried my very best to give her the best life with what little life she had left. I gave her baths and foot massages. And she LOVED being toweled off, so I would fold a super soft towel in half and she would spread out on it. And I would towel her off for even longer than usual. Every morning she'd bark at me for a cookie. Cookies were her favorite. I tried not to give her too many but it was hard at times! Her favorite cookies were anything shortbread and Nilla wafer cookies. For now on, whenever I see shortbread cookies--especially the kind in the tin that you get at Christmas--or Nilla wafers I will think of her.
My main question is like most humans who pass on, do animals know they are dead? Or does it take them a while to figure it out? I know that once you are in the spirit world you ascend to a higher plane and that you start learning things quickly. I just wonder how animals learn things over there. Do they have some sort of angelic guidance or do they figure things out on their own? I know we have spirit guides and our loved ones that greet us when we pass and who give their help but I just wonder about them.
It has been said that animals cross the rainbow bridge, so I guess she will go there or someplace like that. Hopefully playing with other animals. She was very loving and playful. I just hope she doesn't forget to travel to Earth every so often for a visit!~! She is surely welcome. ~ <3
None of this has been easy for me. I didn't fall asleep until 4:00 a.m. last night then I woke up at 6:25 a.m. I had been crying all night and I had other things on my mind (personal injury lawsuit going on, work, bills...). Too much worry and little rest. I felt better after I spoke to the vet this morning. My vet was very flexible on the cremation payment. Aside from being wrought with grief, coming up with the cremation money in time had been weighing on me. My mom wanted her preserved in some way so she could take her with her when she moved. She told me today that she had wanted her stuffed but said it was too expensive. I'm sad that I cannot give her the $500.00-$850.00 to do it. I could only come up with $165.00 for the cremation and $35.00 for the paw print. She's okay with the cremation, but she wanted her stuffed to keep her on her bed.
I'm sorry to go on and on. What was supposed to be a few questions ended up being a novel. I just feel absolutely sorry for my mom. She is having such a hard time with this. Fifi was always with her, and now she doesn't have her little bed buddy anymore. :'(
I really do miss her. I would call her my "little bedbug" when I held her. No more barks or kisses. No more watching her rub her face on the bed and bite the blanket when you wouldn't listen to her. She had so many little funny quirks. They seemed funny then but not now. *sigh* I hope to look back on these funny moments and laugh again someday.
I think the day after losing a pet is always the hardest because they aren't physically there and you know there will be many more days without them. We knew Fifi was sick but we weren't expecting 10:13 p.m. last night to be the end. I'd give anything to have the day before yesterday back when she was up and walking or at the very least yesterday morning before she went into her deep sleep. At least I got to kiss her and look into her eyes before she died. I even wiped her face. I think I spoke to her, too.
To those of you who have pets, could you please hug them tight for me? Tomorrow is never promised.
I wasn't sure whether this post belonged here or somewhere else. But I thought my questions could be best answered here.
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