Purging or ego based relationship?

[Fleur de Frost]

Hi! I have a close friend who I help a lot with emotional issues, and he's equally interested in my own well being. What's fascinating to me, though, is just how deeply I want to bring up deep fears or dark emotions with him. There could be an issue I thought I overcame a year ago, but after an intense conversation, I realize how many of those issues I've never overcome and simply brushed under the carpet, pretending to be 'cured'. In this particular phase of our relationship, it seems like every single fear I've ever held in my life is reemerging until I fully accept it.

Even though he is doing an amazing job at trying to help me through, is this healthy or detrimental? Part of me is concerned my mind is playing tricks on me and bringing old emotional issues to the surface, in hopes of validating our 'emotional support' type relationship... but the other is screaming that no, these have always been buried within your subconscious - it's just something about talking with him that brings them to your attention, ready to be healed.

Do we have soulmates like that? Who, without doing anything specific, make us want to resurface and give light to old wounds we thought we solved?

Thank you! :)

I do believe it is so important to face one's "fears"; one's emotional dark side.
But I also think it's somewhere between "useful" and "necessary" to have someone standing by for support - a therapeutic role, in a way. Often it's just enough for someone just to listen....you, talking through your struggles /problems /fears, can often open the way to solving or dispelling them. It's also important that you can trust the listener absolutely if you hope just to let your thoughts out unhindered. They may come out confused, illogical etc which is why just talking is so therapeutic. You get to hear yourself and things start to dawn....

Likewise, writing is an excellent therapy whether it's just notes as things emerge or a novella about you, your fears, manifested as characters that gradually resolve their problems.

You need to meditate or contemplate or just cogitate on these issues and let them come forward, hopefully in a "controlled" way (like, little by little). Anything too uncomfortable and you can snap out of it but with the resolve to go back later and try again. Eventually you'll beat it!

He could indeed be your soul mate. If you seem to have the same values and willingly support each other through difficult times without counting any cost, it's distinctly possible. Always remember though that it's a mutual thing. Would you be ready to support him if he needed to pour out or suffered emotional tiredness? To me, it's about can you walk spiritually with him hand in hand.

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[Morrigan]

As long as neither of you is feeling drained and depleted, by the support being given to each other, it sounds like you have a healthy give and take going on.

However, if you have something REALLY dark that you are working towards revealing to him, might be best to test the water first, and maybe reserve this issue for a professional helper.

[IAmNemo]

Originally Posted by Fleur de Frost

Even though he is doing an amazing job at trying to help me through, is this healthy or detrimental? Part of me is concerned my mind is playing tricks on me and bringing old emotional issues to the surface, in hopes of validating our 'emotional support' type relationship... but the other is screaming that no, these have always been buried within your subconscious - it's just something about talking with him that brings them to your attention, ready to be healed.

The answer lies here.
Is it real, or is it an illusion? Only you can answer this.
I would say that if the problems feel real to you then they are probably real. But the fact you question it is good. It means you're thinking, processing, understanding. With this will come the true answer.