Is True Love biblical ? The bible says about finding True Love ?

[sky]

Originally Posted by Redchic12

For me personally, I don’t have a problem with love but whenever I’ve mentioned to others about loving themselves they kinda look at me weirdly or say…….how can ya love yourself?

Just a thought.

How can ya not love yourself I find it very sad when you come across some who do not love themselves, these type of unfortunate people keep Physiatrists in business thats for sure....

[Redchic12]

Yep I feel sorry for them as well but unfortunately there are quite a lot of them out there. Very sad.

[Maisy]

Originally Posted by Molearner

Hard for me to call ego affirmation love…..

I think ego affirmation is not even close to love, I think more like a feeling of ones importance and status as better and more important than others, vanity, a big ego. Real love to me is not selfish or self centered. Well plus I don't believe we are the self. I think we are that which is aware of a self.

I think instead of saying the phrase "self love" I would say being at peace within and without with no inner or outer conflict, feeling unity and compassion and empathy for everything and everyone, oneself and others...but yea is more words than just saying "love yourself."

I get what people mean by saying "self love" as a word short cut but it can mean so many different things, some positive and some negative. I assume people that used it as a good thing meant it in a positive way and not a big ego type way. Like in being kind and understanding with oneself, (and others) - compassion as opposed to thinking I am better than others in some way.

I think if I was throwing out a popular cliché I would say self love is not important, loving God is better. Or maybe like surrender to God. If I said I loved myself or I hated myself, I think both are self obsession and identification with the thought stream. Maybe better is not to have the attention on thought or self at all. Instead be empty in God's grace. I think the real self can be connected to our source, open expansive, and not self enclosed in a ego built shell. I think the "self" is happier when it is selfless and unlimited love.

[vortex]

Originally Posted by Redchic12

Maybe the word love could be substituted for the word respect.

my word is acceptance but so get respect to

and agree with every thing you said, well said

[sky]

Originally Posted by Redchic12

Yep I feel sorry for them as well but unfortunately there are quite a lot of them out there. Very sad.

I like this, it makes sense to me personally.

"Love of self is not selfishness but a humble recognition of our lives as true, good and beautiful. Without real love of self, all other loves are distorted."
Thomas Merton.

[Redchic12]

Wow I really love that quote.

[Maisy]

I like Thomas Merton's writings:

"As long as we secretly adore ourselves, our own deficiencies will remain to torture us with an apparent defilement. A selfish love of ourselves makes us incapable of loving others."
― Thomas Merton

[Maisy]

Originally Posted by sky

recognition of our lives as true, good and beautiful.

That part of the Merton quote is interesting to me. Especially with all the wars going on.

I googled Merton on war and this came up:

"Instead of hating the people you think are war-makers, hate the appetites and disorder in your own soul, which are the causes of war. If you love peace, then hate injustice, hate tyranny, hate greed - but hate these things in yourself, not in another." Thomas Merton

[sky]

Originally Posted by Maisy

"Instead of hating the people you think are war-makers, hate the appetites and disorder in your own soul, which are the causes of war. If you love peace, then hate injustice, hate tyranny, hate greed - but hate these things in yourself, not in another." Thomas Merton

I've noticed that Thomas seems to see love as being the opposite of hate which I personally don't.... I'm wondering why.....

[Maisy]

Originally Posted by sky

I've noticed that Thomas seems to see love as being the opposite of hate which I personally don't.... I'm wondering why.....

Maybe part of it was he was a Roman Catholic Trappist Monk. That is a pretty unusual way of life. He gave up all of his personal freedom and pretty much all "normal" ways humans love. Monks give up family and all romantic forms of love. They seek to love God and God alone. But then also part of that I think is loving all humanity. Not in a selfish way, thus no wives or kids or hanging out with family, parents and grandparents.

I think if you asked an average person what love they expressed they would say their romantic partner, their kids, their friends, their parents. I think if you asked a monk or nun they would serving others. But then that is an ideal I guess as I'm sure their are selfish lazy mean monks or nuns in the world like in all walks of life.

Some philosophers don't see true divine love as getting something back. If you get something back, is it love and selfless? Like get married, that's supposed to be love right, then you don't get what you want, they don't act like you want, so you divorce them. Was that really love? We call it falling in love and out of love. But that's another way monks think of it maybe. Love has nothing to do selfish expressions. Where you do something to get something in return. We call it love in our society though. We tend to define love as things we like a lot. Things that bring us pleasure. I think someone like Merton gets pleasure in being selfless. Through that one is supposed to connect to God which is a kind of pleasure.

I was reading a page of his quotes and it seemed to me he was really interested in the idea of being selfless. But I think that makes sense for a monk I guess. That's the life they have chosen. Letting someone else tell them what to do for their whole lives. And not being allowed to have a romantic partner. We have someone control us at work, then have freedom at home. I think they never really have personal freedom. Maybe in some small ways they do I don't know.