The end of the line for me

[lunapixie]

Hello everyone,

I have not posted on here for a while now and most will probably not be familiar with my story. Nonetheless, I'm once again shocked by the latest turn of events in my situation with "twin."

We met online in 2011. I met him in person in December of 2012 and we maintained a long distance relationship until early 2014 when he ghosted. In February of 2015 after months of incredible pain I was starting to make peace with him being gone "forever." I had texted him a couple of times during the previous months and he had replied with short messages so I wasn't expecting much from him. But we started talking again and kept talking every day until I was forced to leave him in May of 2015. I felt that something was off... he was too desperate and needy and kept trying to get me to go visit him for a "fun weekend." I just knew intuitively that something was terribly wrong.

Around July of last year I felt that something had happened in his life but I couldn't figure out what it was. I tried to keep living my life as normal but kind of hoping that he would heal himself and come back. He never did.

In February of this year I finally caved in and started to text him again. Those were live notes, just messages about what had happened and how I still loved him. That's when he told me that he was in a relationship and it almost literally killed me. But miracles do happen and my prayers were answered. After the news I let him go completely as I had never done before. My life improved drastically over the following months. I found happiness again and was enjoyeinh myself to the fullest. I rarely thought of him and my life was full of good things.

But... and isn't there always a but... last August one week I suddenly started feeling him again. Nonstop, day and night. One Saturday he resurfaced on Facebook and started "liking" my posts after keeping me blocked for 4 years! Long story there too. He was always running basically.

I didn't say or do anything for about a week after that. I was secretly hoping that he would just stop and go back into the shadows again. But he sent me a friend request seven days later and, after much prayer, I decided to accept it. But I couldn't bring myself to look at his page. Took me a few days before I mustered the courage and when I did look it was really bad! Pictures of him and the girlfriend (I knew they had broken up but he didn't know that I knew), he kept all her pictures up and I thought that was a bit strange. He also locked all the years prior to this year so I couldn't see his posts from back then.

But it was too much and eventually I messaged him and said I couldn't do it and that I wished him and the gf well, etc.. That's when he started talking about a marriage that had happened in 2014. I mean... WHAT!?! Marriage? So apparently he ghosted in early 2014 because he was already with the woman he married and later divorced within a couple of months.

So now back to the gf. He said a bunch of awful stuff about her and that they were no longer together. He said terrible things about both women, really. I was in such a state of shock about the marriage that I didn't think much of the ex gf. We stared talking again pretty much every day. And even though he keot repeating over and over again that he just wanted to be my friend (lots of bad feelings on that one from the get go) he also kept flirting with me. He seemed conflicted and kept talking about the ex gf even though I never asked.

Then one day I don't know what I said and he told me that she had left him because he refused to marry her and take on the responsibility of raising her 4 young children from two different dads (he said this with prejudice). She left him and went straight to the courthouse and married another guy.

I just KNEW that he was hurt but every time I tried to talk to him about it he kept saying that he wasn't hurt and that he knew that he should've never dated her and that he never planned on marrying her because he will never marry again blah blah blah He became very defensive every time so I stopped. But once I said that she had a funny way of showing her love for him. He kept bringing her up and saying she would come back anytime if he wanted her to. Apparently this girl got married but never stopped trying to get back with him. So when I said that she had a funny way of showing love he went ballistic and started defending her and saying that she left him many times before because he refused to get her pregnant and marry her and that he was a jerk to her and that I didn't know her and had no clue how smart and fun she was.

Now I'm reading this (we never talked on the phone all these years just texts) and thinking to myself that I should run, run and never look back. But I didn't. Not until he told me that he was dating yet another woman. He talks to me for two months and not once did he ever mention this other girl. It was too much for me and I felt used and desrespected. Three weeks ago I stopped taking to him and he never reached out either.

During this time I refused to let myself look at his Facebook. I didn't want to see anything or be involved with his toxicity. In hindsight I now regret not looking at his page. This past Monday I felt compelled to send him a nice sweet picture quote. Just a friendly little white flag of peace. No reply.

On Wednesday I finally mustered the courage to look at his Facebook and right away saw pictures of him and the ex gf (the one who just got married last August) hiking together and going out to dinner with his mom. Again, WHAT!?!?! What is going on over there?!

I told him weeks ago that they would get back together and he said no way and that she was blocked forever on his Facebook. Now she's back with him after leaving her husband of only two months!?! NOTHING he said was true. He did take her back and didn't even care about the husband. Now the big question is: did he come looking for me only because he was dumped and needed someone to soften the blow?

Does he love her? Is that considered love when you let someone marry another guy like that? The entire thing is too sordid...

I try not to judge but it's hard because he could've left me out ic this. He knew that I probably still had feeings for him and sought me out even knowing how much he had hurt me in the past. He also knew that he was still in love with this woman and only using me.

The weirdest thing though... they are not friends on Facebook anymore. They were last Sunday when they posted all the photos but not right now. I blocked both of them for the first time.i need my peace. But I'm still rattled by yet another instance of him treating me like I'm nothing. He kept saying that he came back because my light is beautiful and he respects and cares for me.

But his actions say otherwise.

I now doubt this entire twin flame thing. I refuse to believe that a guy who's out there posing as the most spiritual man on the planet, the smartest abc brightest, that a guy that talks about not wanting to raise "any other man's kids" and the. taking a woman with four kids for a ride like that... it's too much for me. He's not my twin!!

Thanks for reading if you read it all.

I'm just venting one last time.

Oh and the signs and synchs are still going strong as always. Awful :(

Sorry about any typos. Thanks all.

[hineahuone]

The synchs are amping up for me too since I surrendered and actually let my twin go in the physical. I have seen triple numbers 111, 222,333,444,555 and 777, 999 several times today and I saw his name on a number plate. It is not a common name. I prayed tonight that he would find God because his life is just spiralling out of control.

[lunapixie]

By the way when I saw their tagged photo and her comments in his page I was so triggered that I started to shake uncontrollably. All I could do was take a screen shot of his Facebook post with her, send it to him, and tell him to never, ever come looking for me ever again. I then blocked him on my phone. Earlier today I felt triggered again and unblocked him because I was going to cuss him out... but my sister didn't let me. She stayed on the phone with me all day because she was afraid for me. She says silence is best now. But because she's not a tf she doesn't really understand how I always feel him, no matter what I do. I can't really ever truly cut this connection...

[hineahuone]

No we cannot break the union, it was made by God, you need to let go and go within. It is none of our business what our twins are doing and who they are with. Triggers are opportunities for growth. Make the most of them, celebrate them even. Hang the photos on a dart board and make a game out of it. Lighten your mood or you will get depressed.

[Goddessa]

Hi Luna,

I'm sorry you're going through all of this, this sounds awful. He really isn't being fair to you right now and you need to look after yourself - immediately. I know its going to be a challenge, but do not look at his FB page because that seems to be a source of major anxiety right now. I'm not on FB (thank goodness) so I'm not sure how it works, but just make sure there is not temptation at all to look at pictures of what is going on in his life.

I'm not even sure what to say about all the lying. Look he was gone for a while and you managed to move on and be happy. Just try again, pls. The most important person here at the moment is you - forget him and his lying and women and direct all thoughts towards yourself with the intention of healing the feelings his actions have brought up in you. He is not treating you well and he seems to be using you as a buffer somehow. You need to be strong and not allow this to happen. Twin or not.

Much love.

[RedBasket]

Dear Lunapixie

I'm so sorry for this pain you are feeling and how surreal it all must be. Is there someone from an earlier stage of your life who had power of you and did not treat you with integrity and respect? If so, I think that primed and conditioned you for this current situation and I believe that the more you can shift your focus onto the how and when you became familiar with enduring this type of treatment, the more you can heal and be protected from it hurting you again.

Good luck in your personal journey. The sooner you can detach from his story and turn inward, the sooner your personal transformation can unfold.

xoxoxox

[T.L.M.]

You have to realize that not everything is as it seems on the surface.... He could be manipulated/abused behind the scenes by this person. I can't really relate but please have faith that things will work out; even if the eventuality is far off. As your telepathy and emotions start melding together at a quickening pace; you will be pulled back together almost immediately. Focus on centering your emotional states as well as your output in regards to actions/though forms in every aspect of your life. Remain humble and show gratitude for all god given gifts. Keep focusing on your inner qualities and transmute all negative energies into something positive(lightworking). Playing the victim card will only prolong separation/healing; once you start healing things will get smoother. You gotta' realize that it's quickening process... What are you focusing your hearts truest desire on? How does that relate to humanity and god? Picture that as a vertical braid straight to source. Also remember that GOD made us all in his infinite image of WISDOM LOVE AND STRENGTH. Picture a pendulum if you will.... Everything has to be approached from the viewfinder of wisdom and strength simultaneously and any debris or shadow elements that pop up have to be seen through this corrective lens than transmuted/transformed through your creative love sex energies. Most people on this planet practice anti-life behaviors vs. pro-life behaviours... So it's not just about you or me or our twin; but US as a whole( humanity as well as with your twin concurrently). Basically to sum everything up; its not about growing or learning; to be frank those are just skewed perceptoins/seperation games. People like pretendindg dont they. It's about mutual love; returning back to eachother, helping eachother, healing eachother, leading the othe rback; not oushing them away. Are your energy output methos drawing him back or away? If your intent is to drawm them closer; why do I get the impression that your approach might be doing the adverse affect; when clearly that isn't the desired outcome.

[Clover]

Originally Posted by lunapixie

I now doubt this entire twin flame thing. I refuse to believe that a guy who's out there posing as the most spiritual man on the planet, the smartest abc brightest, that a guy that talks about not wanting to raise "any other man's kids" and the. taking a woman with four kids for a ride like that... it's too much for me. He's not my twin!!

Sometimes it's the most spiritually acclaimed people that have the most issues with relationships. They talk a big game, but lack boundaries and self governing significantly. Also, It's not out of the ordinary that people use spirituality to manipulate people as well, I have witnessed this first hand.


Look inward. All you seek in found within, and of course if you find someone that shares that same love and respect for themselves, you can have a whole lot of mutual fun together : D
Sometimes, Synchs and 'signs' are self manifested. If you think about red cars all the time, your simply opening your awareness to them more and attracting that energy to you. I like what one member said once, the Universe has nothing but time to play this game with you. If your not careful, it will help drag this cycle with you for years. You have at any time the free will to make this stop, just the way people have the free will to chose to love you ( or not)

I believe in you Luna <3

[Inika]

What a situation. I'm sorry you've been taken advantage of in this way.
This is what I see.

did he come looking for me only because he was dumped and needed someone to soften the blow?

Yes, he doesn't know himself by the looks of it.

Does he love her? Is that considered love when you let someone marry another guy like that? The entire thing is too sordid...

No. He doesn't even love himself by the looks of it.

I saw this yesterday. It's important to see relationships as they really are rather than how we'd like them to be.
It sounded like you had more fun enjoying life while he was absent from it. That would be a pretty big sign for me.

Quite honestly you're better off shot of him. On the basis of your story he sounds thoroughly neurotic, either an emotional wreck or hasn't even started to grow up. Words and stuff are all very nice but you have to reckon people by their acts. Without hearing his side of the story I'd say he's hopelessly insecure and seeking security with anyone who'd give him a cuddle (and more).
How does he get on with his mum?

Twin or not, feel sorry for any woman who lands him. Far too capricious for someone wanting a fulfilling friendship let alone anything else.

So great, you can get on with your own life now.

Wishing you all the best.