Could someone else feel the true connection with 2 other people?

OK I know weird put question.

Edited.

Background story, had a young love, couple of years. That guy had had it tough before in life. During our relationship something tragic happened that made him angry (with what had happened, had nothing to do with me) and he began to grieve. During this time he began to drink more, and more. I think in his family history there was environmental and genetic factors. He got to be hooked.
This was a serious relationship. We were engaged. We were almost always together. I felt very, very loved by him. I felt we were on the same page. From what I can tell he was very intuitive. I think he had visions of the future as well. If I would take aside the drinking issue I could not have asked for a better boyfriend, fiance. He was a good person. He had principles, morals. He would show it in small ways, in big ways.

He would not even remember that he had caused our break up and soon after it was evident he had began to drink again. I do not think he had planned it.

Some time afterwards he got to be partly confused, partly clear in the head and began a stalking period of me, as if he had skipped or ignored the break up and that we were done with. It was surreal to me. He was this crazy for some time, and then he got back to normal again, not confused anymore.

Because of circumstances we agreed to be friends only, I merely thought ending things as friends, and too because we were to bump into one another wether we liked it or not and we knew few of the same people. Once we got to be friends (not active friendship) he would not flirt or be bitter or anything like that.

As I had before when he had been mine wanted him to go to Rehab and his family and he did not think that, and afterwards I would too tell him to please go to Rehab, and he still would not do it, I thought he had made his choice. I suppose I felt had I been so important to him, had he truly loved me he would have done that and he didn't.



Moving forward I had come out of an unhappy relationship when I began seeing him again in a romantic sense. I had had flashbacks of him, the good things he had done, for me, for other people, animals etc, while I had been in the other relationship as these two men were each other's contrasts and no wonder I missed my first love.

Unfortuntaly because of how this other man (ex) began to behave after the break up it felt as if he pushed me over the edge to develop anxiety and eventually panic attacks. I refused to show that I was afraid of him, and I had been pushed around enough. And now I began to push back to try to get him out for good. He had been jealous and done things to innocent guy/s before when we had been involved and I began to fear that if he learn about me and my first love he might do something. I went to see a psychiatrist because of the anxiety and got into treatment and given pills for sleep and to calm me down. I ended things with my first love as I did not think I was stable enough to be in a relationship and in my own way to try to protect him. I ran off to rebuilt my life somewhere else. If and when my first love and I were to later bump into each other or see each other through the few people we knew, and I was doing much better, to me our short reconsiliation was more of a dream, a result from me having become sick before. He had stayed sober, and was stable and understanding when we had began seeing each other again in a romantic way, and I would say afterwards, when I got to be much better, he would not bring it up, but be careful, tender with me.

I think back when we began seeing each other again, that brief period, that I was afraid to put my heart in his hands again if he would break it the way he had before. Even if he was sober the period we met he had still not gone to Rehab and I knew his drinking was a sensitive subject. I was asking him about the break up to try to get clarity as to why he had caused it and he would say he didn't remember and that it could not have been the way I remembered it because he would never say, do that to me (he had not done anything, but said something) and that there must have been some misunderstanding. I could tell he was ashamed and he was looking down.

Years later my husband was to have recurring nightmares of my first love and I, that it was him and I that belonged together, and that my first love was coming for me, and that I returned to him. These things did not happen.

It was not until I was married and had my child that my first love finally went to Rehab. He insisted to talk to me and would apologize. He did not think our break up would have ever have happened back in the day if he had not been addicted. I forgave him and wished him all the best, and said to him how proud I was that he had taken this step for recovery. He would also thank me for him knowing I had been the one fighting for him (both as his girlfriend and even as an ex girlfriend telling him to go to Rehab). Back in the day I had support from my family, but his family did not want to think it was as serious as it was or that he could not quit on his own. When he had finally gone to Rehab it was not his family that pressured him into it, nor a girlfriend, it was someone else.

My first love would later write me a letter when he was worried about his health and did not know the outcome, that I was the love of his life. How accurate or not that was I don't know. I know he had few girlfriends now and then, but nothing that would last before.

We both had had our crazy periods. Him with his stalking, confused mental state before. Me with my anxiety, panic attacks.

Is it possible our subconscious were in connection in some way that my husband felt through his nightmares but that I didn't and that neither me nor my first love knew off in a way, as we had both been out of it with our separate mental conditions?