Meditation, Scared of it and do not want to awaken anything

Ok, before anyone type's anything due to the Title, Let me just explain my story first.

I am a 21yo male from Australia, Always been into surfing and had lots of friends growing up, played loads of sports, just your average youth, I am not religious and I do not believe in anything unless it gives me a reason too believe in it.

4 Years ago (when I was 17) I had my first anxiety attack from smoking weed, and have had anxiety ever since, It basically prisoned me on and off and made my life much harder (I dont smoke or drink since the event).

I tried medication, which backfire, and found lifting weights and exercising regularly to do the trick, it has helped my anxiety the most, but theres still that little bit of anxiety that still makes it hard for me to do certain thing, (my anxiety is trigger'd because I think I am having a heart attack and I have had a phobia of dying that way ever since my first attack).

My family always told me meditation will help, but I always put it off since I could not be bothered, when I was 18 (3 years ago) I had a family friend teach me meditation, too observe your breath, keep your back straight, but relaxed, keep the tongue on the roof of the mouth, but after 1 week, it got old and I decided to just focus on my excercise.

Now you know my past, ill tell you about my last 2 weeks, 2 weeks ago, I emotionally broke down since my anxiety has put roadblocks in things I really want to do (get back into surfing, travel and see my family etc), So I decided the last thing I have not giving a fair go is meditation, so I bought these cd's by Micheal Roland to guide me, and it was exactly the same as my family friend was teaching me, So I decided to take it seriously, the first and 2nd day I was doing it and it was great, my anxiety went down almost straight away, and I had more energy and felt much happier.

Then on the 3rd night, thats when it got a lot more deeper, I focused on my breath, and then it went one step further, where I was not even focusing on my breath, but its like I shifted into a whole new realm, My hands felt like they were buzzing, and I litterally felt butterflys and got aroused, and felt sick, Like I was about to have sex for the first time again or something, and I remained in that state, I shifted out of the state for a little while, but shifted back in, then thats when it got deeper, I felt like my chest started buzzing aswell, along with my back, arms, head, and it felt like the distance between my arms and head was solar systems away, its hard to explain, and the amount of energy and buzzing and feeling like I was about to be sick, I jumped out of my meditation and I had had an anxiety attack, feeling out of energy, like it hit your nervious system or something.

I tried the meditation again, and just before I went into the same trance state again, I opened my eyes and decided I better not do this anymore until I talk to somebody about it to make sure that this type of energy is safe to release, and thats honestly what it feels like, felt like I got the tip of the iceburg.

But yeah, keep in mind I have only been using meditation for a week, so I have no idea what is going on, I looked up things that happend, and all I have read is awakenings and kundalini awakening, and if you do it too soon, the energy is too overwhelming, I just want to meditate for the sake of helping my anxiety, I dont really want to go through anything thats even close to anxiety even if its ment to be finding yourself and who you are or whatever.

So yeah, I really hope one of you can help me and give me an idea of what I should do in this situation, ever since I experienced it, I truly got a taste of how powerful this stuff is, and I am not sure if there a dark side to it or not, if not I dont want anything to do with it (not trying to disrespect anyone or what they believe.

Thanks

(I am seeing john, my family friend this weekend to tell him what happend)

I have not talked to it too my family members yet either, I am not sure if they would think I am going crazy or not, I mean, I would think I were going crazy to if I heard something like that, so yeah I would really appreciate the help if there is any help to give guys.

hi
you don't have to meditate to relieve anxiety, the anxiety comes from focusing on the outcome of a situation rather than being in the moment. they tell people to use meditation to relax and to relieve anxiety, but in reality it leads to enlightenment. The trick is to use the bits that help, while discarding the bits that don't.
Focusing on the out come of a situation is living in the future, a moment that does not exist yet, it is insanity, the mind can't live in a moment that does not exist. Also it takes away the power away from everything you are doing right now. its called beating the drum (ester hicks). The future does not exist, neither does the past there is only now. you cannot progress by living in the future work in this moment and this moment and this moment blessings.

Thanks for the response.
I understand I do not have to meditate, But I had instant anxiety relief when I did, I understand what your getting at, it looks good down on paper, but when it comes down to it the anxiety is so overwhelming, and it can be tough not living in the future without some relief which I was getting from meditation.

I know I have difficulty taking my own advice, what I,m getting at is there are safe bits of meditation, and there are those that lead to enlightenment of the soul, ie the end path of your journey to be re born on earth.
the safe bits are in my opinion
separation from thought - you are not your thoughts. realisation that you can separate your self from your thoughts and feelings. you can sit and watch the forms your mind creates, you are not your mind.
each thought is form and will reincarnate until manifestation. ie he said, she said they did this, he did that until anger, frustration, hurt then action.
living in the now.
I would say going in to the body - no need.

Ok, I really appreciate the response!

What happened to you is actually pretty common. You slipped pass your threshold point and did indeed go into a trance state. It happens to me often.
If you want to avoid it meditate with your eyes slightly open and downcast about a foot and a half or two in front of you. The trance state actually causes you to lose awareness. You don't want that though, stay focused on your breath and be aware of your surroundings. When things happen just take a mental note, notice it, and move back to your breath.

Ok, thank you very much, it really annoys me, I really like meditation, even though I had a slightly bad but at the same time good experience, the only reason I am scared to do deep meditation, is unlocking some power, I know I felt some sort of incredible energy, but I am unsure whether it is worth it to explore it or not.

Oh and the energy you felt could very well be your chakras. However I don't think it's likely that you would have a kundalini awakening by just doing breath meditations. I get lots of weird sensations when I meditate. Like I said notice the sensations and then go back to focusing on your breath.

If theres anyone eles that has any opinions, please feel free to post.