from meditation to insanity

[Kinki]

hey. im a 22 yo male
when i was 19 i tried to meditate for the first time at 3 am, i saw a man with a blueish edge around him, i felt my consciousness inside my spine "or very focused conscious" i then went from my lower spine to my brain. i saw pictures of many things like buddha and others. i saw no longer thinking of any religion, it was strange waking up from the meditation it had been 4 hours, but felt like 5 minuttes. so i woke from the meditation at 7 and went to bed where i saw pictures of things i was scared of. with a delay on 0,5 sec.

it was here i startet the spirit search.

from there on i have had sex with something at night very spiritual. what it felt like? when you lay in bed, and your mentally going with all ur body from side to side without moving ofcourse.

ive seen geometry patterns when falling to sleep.

and many other things.

when i was 21 i fell into another meditation, this time not on purpose. i simply fell into it, it felt like a seed or something in my brain sprung up like a tree of life or something near my third eye. I saw some energy inside my head like a picture moving, red green and black. i got the biggest anxiety to like this was something mental that i could deny this energy or what it was. it basicly felt like a big anxiety around it.

i had heard of 12d consciousness, and i was like is this source or something, i saw in the core? or was this "angst" the thing that we deep inside have, and the energy that i felt was in the air, and held us together that we all have unconsciously?

anyways, i woke up from the meditation i fell into and i could literally see everything as some sort of magic, everyone had sparkling green eyes. the internet was a free source of a lot of things, i turned on the tv, and there was an old icon of the channel from when i was 4-5 years old, i watched a formula 1 car driving around for 22 minuttes, and i percieved and just looked at the car with wheeping tears of joy, it was pure tears of joy, like who knew i had this like "dream" or seen this when i was a kid? i remember seeing this red energy that i called prana.
i also felt like INFORMATION was comming to me from prana.

the NEXT day there was no real "conscious expaned" the eyes on people was still sparkling green. i had this fantastic joy in my body, cant describe the feeling. it was like a fire was lit inside of me. i can describe it as you know they say we walk in waves. well i was the waves flow. i felt abit like a vibe of jason mraz - im yours. it felt like i could see a broader view, i felt people was smiling and i could see more peoples eyes at once.

anyways i called MY FRIEND and we went to the grill. and basicly at the grill i saw 2 beatifull girls serving our food, they looked natural, they had the flow aswell. they were definently not from the town i had extreme anxiety and felt like i absorbed anxiety from my friend. i dont know where they came from.

when he left it felt like i had either left him or me in the "spirit realm"

i felt chi around the room, and almost bubbly in my room, it was in my chest. first of all i had learned to make or handle this chi with my hands as i believed it. but when you can feel it all over your chest and you just want some fresh air it feels terrible i didnt feel like dying but i felt trapped in energy.

i went out to meditate in the woods. the PROBLEM was there was no people so i felt extremely alone. i tried to get all these energys or chi away from me, at the end i jumped in the cold water in march, and i thought the fishermen was illusions. those fishermen were the only people i met that day. well this is where i went crazy

at day 4 i smashed a WINDOW where there was a cat because i thought the cat was locked inside at my neighboor. yeah i was crazy from all the energys. chi etc

the police came and i felt abit ashamed that i had done it, they said we drive you to the mental hospital

here i danced for several hours filled with a form of spiritual extasy just couldent sleep and just danced and crying tears of joy. i couldent feel energys anymore and felt so happy to both see new people but also a form of freedom a few days later the "sparkling eyes" dissapeared.

can anyone enlighten me about the energy i saw and the feeling of a tree of life at my third eye?

[Silver]

Wow, that was an amazing experience, truly.

As I read your experiences, especially at the beginning, I felt as though the experience was positive, but your mind or ego or whatever they call it was experiencing fear of these out of the ordinary things happening inside.

What did they do to treat you at the hospital?

I just recently in the past couple months got interested in Buddhism and I don't know yet what all the terms mean (like 'prana') - there's so much to learn. I'm reading an excellent book by Thich Naht Hanh about the Buddha's life story called Old Path White Clouds and I like it so much because it teaches about his life story and what Buddhism is all about. I'm reading the library's copy and have ordered my own book from amazon.com. You might find it of interest.

Originally Posted by Kinki

hey. im a 22 yo male
when i was 19 i tried to meditate for the first time at 3 am, i saw a man with a blueish edge around him, i felt my consciousness inside my spine "or very focused conscious" i then went from my lower spine to my brain. i saw pictures of many things like buddha and others. i saw no longer thinking of any religion, it was strange waking up from the meditation it had been 4 hours, but felt like 5 minuttes. so i woke from the meditation at 7 and went to bed where i saw pictures of things i was scared of. with a delay on 0,5 sec.

it was here i startet the spirit search.

from there on i have had sex with something at night very spiritual. what it felt like? when you lay in bed, and your mentally going with all ur body from side to side without moving ofcourse.

ive seen geometry patterns when falling to sleep.

and many other things.

when i was 21 i fell into another meditation, this time not on purpose. i simply fell into it, it felt like a seed or something in my brain sprung up like a tree of life or something near my third eye. I saw some energy inside my head like a picture moving, red green and black. i got the biggest anxiety to like this was something mental that i could deny this energy or what it was. it basicly felt like a big anxiety around it.

i had heard of 12d consciousness, and i was like is this source or something, i saw in the core? or was this "angst" the thing that we deep inside have, and the energy that i felt was in the air, and held us together that we all have unconsciously?

anyways, i woke up from the meditation i fell into and i could literally see everything as some sort of magic, everyone had sparkling green eyes. the internet was a free source of a lot of things, i turned on the tv, and there was an old icon of the channel from when i was 4-5 years old, i watched a formula 1 car driving around for 22 minuttes, and i percieved and just looked at the car with wheeping tears of joy, it was pure tears of joy, like who knew i had this like "dream" or seen this when i was a kid? i remember seeing this red energy that i called prana.
i also felt like INFORMATION was comming to me from prana.

the NEXT day there was no real "conscious expaned" the eyes on people was still sparkling green. i had this fantastic joy in my body, cant describe the feeling. it was like a fire was lit inside of me. i can describe it as you know they say we walk in waves. well i was the waves flow. i felt abit like a vibe of jason mraz - im yours. it felt like i could see a broader view, i felt people was smiling and i could see more peoples eyes at once.

anyways i called MY FRIEND and we went to the grill. and basicly at the grill i saw 2 beatifull girls serving our food, they looked natural, they had the flow aswell. they were definently not from the town i had extreme anxiety and felt like i absorbed anxiety from my friend. i dont know where they came from.

when he left it felt like i had either left him or me in the "spirit realm"

i felt chi around the room, and almost bubbly in my room, it was in my chest. first of all i had learned to make or handle this chi with my hands as i believed it. but when you can feel it all over your chest and you just want some fresh air it feels terrible i didnt feel like dying but i felt trapped in energy.

i went out to meditate in the woods. the PROBLEM was there was no people so i felt extremely alone. i tried to get all these energys or chi away from me, at the end i jumped in the cold water in march, and i thought the fishermen was illusions. those fishermen were the only people i met that day. well this is where i went crazy

at day 4 i smashed a WINDOW where there was a cat because i thought the cat was locked inside at my neighboor. yeah i was crazy from all the energys. chi etc

the police came and i felt abit ashamed that i had done it, they said we drive you to the mental hospital

here i danced for several hours filled with a form of spiritual extasy just couldent sleep and just danced and crying tears of joy. i couldent feel energys anymore and felt so happy to both see new people but also a form of freedom a few days later the "sparkling eyes" dissapeared.

can anyone enlighten me about the energy i saw and the feeling of a tree of life at my third eye?

The universe is inside us, which means that you can feel anything you want. Sometimes I feel anxiety and I feel I deserve it, but in hindsight, its not real.

Death is the time to realize what kind of person you are, it doesn't matter how much darkness we have inside, but instead how much light we let out.