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Originally Posted by EarthMamma
It was to show me what I AM. Pure Love.. To show me what I am *without* my Mind.
I realized was that my mind had NOTHING to do with it all. What was happening was pure love, withOUT my mind being involved At All, which is pretty amazing considering I'm all up in my head most of the time lol!
Of course my mind, as a kind of 'side show' in this experience, was all in a twitter about what was going on. What is going on here? Why is this happening? What should I DO about how I feel? What was the significance in all this? Yet, this was something completely separate from what was *happening* to me.
The gift - as you put it - was the glimpse of love. It doesn't matter who it was I felt it for, or why... All that matters is: That I Know It Is Possible To Feel This Way.
♥ EarthMamma
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That's got to be the best synopsis I've ever read about the heart of what this experience is about! Mind had Nothing to do with it at all!
You also realized one of the peak most experiences of awakening consciousness:
I Am.
Pure Love.
I am Pure Love.
Pure Love I AM...
.... so beautiful. It all comes down to this.
Making contact with Higher Self does help sort out a lot of other things, like why this form of a cosmic 2X4 is nessasarly for some of us. lol
How to make contact.... *deep breath*
I guess for me I had nothing left, if was make contact or expire. It became the single most important thing to do because answers couldn't be found on this side of the Veil.
I remembered times in life, pre-awakening, especially traveling in third world countries dodging revolutions and genocides, ladrones` and pirates, where I would have this very exact Knowing of where to go, how to do it and the exact timing it had to be done in and never questioning it, just Doing It.
I knew there was a Higher Knowing inside me which unerringly was correct, and had saved my tush many times. So the Faith was there, it was just a matter of making conscious contact with it, not just when I was in desperate straights.
It seems like it began with this crazy urge somewhere in Utah during the 40 Days and Nights in the Wilderness of wandering trying to hear Spirit and trying to get separation from the Egoic mind just before the Dark Night of the Soul phase.
This urge was to pull into Rock Shops... of all things. I didn't want to look or buy rocks, my budget was a scary shoestring and rocks didn't interest me.
But as I'd pass the Rock Shops I'd get this horrible anxious feeling like I'd just done something wrong or made a mistake, and would nearly crawl out of my skin the further I got away from the Rock Shop. Meanwhile I'm shaking my fist at the van roof saying things like "Seriously?! Rock Shops? Have you gone nuts? What does this have to do with Spirituality? We don't have time for this!"
But only turning back towards it would ease the sensation, pulling in and parking stopped it.
So feeling even my body wasn't mine anymore I went in and got trained in crystals through these urges and mental pictures and occasionally quiet words. I was told/shown how to feel energy from them, which ones to buy and other things.
I got pulled over at every Rock Shop going across Utah I think! LOL
And soon had a bunch of rocks in boxes, no idea why and I had a whole bunch of questions like "Why are you making me do this??! I can't afford it, the weight cost more in gas also, Why why why?"
Maybe being out there in the desert with no one to talk to and not wanting anyone to know what I was going through anyway and desperate for answers made something in me opened, listened closer, for anything, a twinge in my stomach, tension in my back, a Knowing, a voice, a urge - anything which mind didn't do... it was the beginning of learning how to Listen, even though most of it was arguing back. lol
For a while there, Spirit had to battle the egoic mind which absolutely didn't want to not be in total charge and be the totality of the Self... this kicked in the Dark Night of the Soul, a phase it pains me still to talk about. Surrender was very Hard for this gal, it nearly killed me.
In time Spirit introduced me to Oracle cards and Runes and other forms of Divination and then the serious 2-way conversations started, also I understood many of the dreams I'd been having were Spirit trying to talk to me when the mind was quiet. Which led to meditation to enforce mental silence to hear from Spirit when more alert.
Deep desperate hunger to make contact and willingness to do whatever it took, and actually engaging was key.
It's been an interesting relationship, a salvation, at times I've argued endlessly, at times Spirit has just hugged me in energy form, sometimes chastised me, other times its been like a loving nurturing mother of the greatest Compassion, sometimes conversations have been the most patient outpouring from Spirit - almost an education themselves in how to
Be Love... trust came slowly despite my deep desire, because at times brain still thought it could sort something out by itself, still does on occasion but it's pretty quick to second guess its self as Spirit has well proved it can see into the future, see possibility lines and probability lines and return with the most insightful valuable useable information. It know the Bigger Plan, our purpose for coming back into body again, and the interconnectedness of all things and ripple effects and Butterfly effects and the Greater Good. So brain easily acquiesces these days, any argument is just more of the principle of it rather than any actual objection.
I've become Best Friends with myself :) lol
I speak of Spirit as a separate Being, but know it is the Eternal Aspect of this earthy self, and that this earthy self is merely an extension down into this density and much of me remains multi-dimensional in the ether.
Not sure if you can find anything valuable in all that to consider or adopt for yourself, hope you can though. :)
((((HUGS))))) Thank you for your beautiful words EarthMomma, I am but a mirror reflection of the wisdom and inner beauty that you are. :) We see in other that which we are ourselves.
The Flame/Charcoal/Steak analogy was a channeling possibly, lol I'm just not that good. :)
Often after writing, I run across it again a few days later and say "Oh Spirit! That was amazing, how do you come up with this stuff??- Wow you Rock!"
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