What soul connection type do you think it is?

[Seenthelight]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Because you're determined to avoid finding out. This time I won't give my opinion why
since it's probably something you don't want to read.

You were brusque with me up there - that's fine of itself, it doesn't matter.
When anyone gives a view here they should be prepared for a backlash or rebuttal.
What that suggests however is that you really don't want to face what the
problem is regardless of any suggestion from me.
Again, that's fine, it's your business obviously but having expressed yourself here
and posed questions, people will try to answer.

A replier can choose from two types of answer: a sincere one or one that's socially desirable.
Sometimes they coincide.
You have both types here.
If you seriously want to solve your problem you really have to own up to your
part in the impasse and look into yourself. Honesty can sometimes hurt.

However, I'll bow out of your topic now; leave it over to others.
I did my best and wish you all the best, sorting things out.

♥

I know you meant well in your original post, but (from my perspective and the way it made me feel despite it not being my post) your initial reply to ValVan seemed quite dismissive of her feelings. Regardless of the nature of the connection she has with this guy, her feelings are real - and in that, so is that connection regardless of whether or not he feels it too.

I agree that she is avoiding looking at something - she acknowledges this and says she doesn't know what it is. You then told her that she is determined she doesn't want to find out.... again passing judgement. She wants to know... but is afraid to step into it right now. Aren't we here to offer a helping hand into the unknown?

What if she truly doesn't know? What if she is wanting to find out and reached out to people here to get her started on that journey? (because that is the gist of what I got from her first post). Telling somebody in this situation that there is no connection, that it is all in their head and she is the problem - where is the advice and support in that?

ValVan has feelings for someone she does not want to have feelings for - therefore she feels connected to this other person. I know because I am there too. I reached out on a spiritual forum to see if there were others who were experiencing the same - I did this here first back in 2009, when I wanted to get to the bottom of all this. And I am still learning and expect to keep learning. I have come an incredibly long way, learned so much about myself, how I approach life, how I handle other people - I am a different person on so many accounts from 9 years ago. Each time I breathe I seem to peel back yet another layer. It's all good - but it has hurt like hell along the way. The journey has also shown me compassion.

I am perhaps a little further along on my journey than ValVan might be but I would not have got this far had I dismissed my feelings, and not acknowledged the fact that for some reason or another I was connected to this guy. It helped that I had a friend who acknowledged how I felt, who told me how I felt was real. My struggle continues in that I don't have the answer to why him, why not someone else. This is where some might seek help regarding twin flames - because we are struggling to find any other explanation.

I am not avoiding anything, I am determined to confront everything, because I know that is what this is about. ValVan is at the beginning of this, and will take a while to come to terms with it. She is afraid of being overwhelmed - naturally. I am sure there must have been a time when you faced this?

I think you took her response a little too personally.

[Seenthelight]

(double post - edited)

[Seenthelight]

Originally Posted by ValVan

Really thank you for your comment and opinion!!!!
Yea I guess it's the intensity that I'm scared of.
I'm afraid to be overwhelmed by the feelings.. it's intense..
The problem is that I don't know what I'm avoiding..

And you know what? That is okay right now.
It is all okay.

It is okay to feel feelings for this guy.
It is okay to acknowledge that for some reason you are connected.
It is okay to feel scared, of the intensity, of the unknown, of your own power in understanding it all.
It is okay to not know what you are avoiding.

None of this happens overnight - it will take time. Do it all at your own pace, in your own way. And it will all be alright in the end.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by ValVan

Thank you for your comment.
Yes I think so. He's a mirror. But why is he a mirror? Why did I have such feelings for him only? Why not someone else?
The problem is that I don't even know what I'm fear. Can't even look at his pictures.

These are good questions to ask - as I say, I think you'll discover the answers on the level of feeling, not thinking. Now of course it's easy enough to say that, but quite another thing to put it into practice; our instinct with strong emotions is to make them stop, block them out, distract ourselves somehow (and in fact a lot of our mental activity is actually designed to distract us from emotional pain, though we don't tend to be conscious of the fact because it's become such an ingrained habit), and it does take conscious effort and a willingness to open to uncomfortable and painful feelings. Certain practices can help a lot, though - meditation, for example, or keeping a diary, writing down your feelings. Talking things through with a trusted, supportive friend can also be very helpful.

I know it can be extremely challenging, but you can do it

Originally Posted by Seenthelight

And you know what? That is okay right now.
It is all okay.

It is okay to feel feelings for this guy.
It is okay to acknowledge that for some reason you are connected.
It is okay to feel scared, of the intensity, of the unknown, of your own power in understanding it all.
It is okay to not know what you are avoiding.

None of this happens overnight - it will take time. Do it all at your own pace, in your own way. And it will all be alright in the end.

This is exactly right, imo - very well said, Seenthelight

[ValVan]

Originally Posted by Seenthelight

I know you meant well in your original post, but (from my perspective and the way it made me feel despite it not being my post) your initial reply to ValVan seemed quite dismissive of her feelings. Regardless of the nature of the connection she has with this guy, her feelings are real - and in that, so is that connection regardless of whether or not he feels it too.

I agree that she is avoiding looking at something - she acknowledges this and says she doesn't know what it is. You then told her that she is determined she doesn't want to find out.... again passing judgement. She wants to know... but is afraid to step into it right now. Aren't we here to offer a helping hand into the unknown?

What if she truly doesn't know? What if she is wanting to find out and reached out to people here to get her started on that journey? (because that is the gist of what I got from her first post). Telling somebody in this situation that there is no connection, that it is all in their head and she is the problem - where is the advice and support in that?

ValVan has feelings for someone she does not want to have feelings for - therefore she feels connected to this other person. I know because I am there too. I reached out on a spiritual forum to see if there were others who were experiencing the same - I did this here first back in 2009, when I wanted to get to the bottom of all this. And I am still learning and expect to keep learning. I have come an incredibly long way, learned so much about myself, how I approach life, how I handle other people - I am a different person on so many accounts from 9 years ago. Each time I breathe I seem to peel back yet another layer. It's all good - but it has hurt like hell along the way. The journey has also shown me compassion.

I am perhaps a little further along on my journey than ValVan might be but I would not have got this far had I dismissed my feelings, and not acknowledged the fact that for some reason or another I was connected to this guy. It helped that I had a friend who acknowledged how I felt, who told me how I felt was real. My struggle continues in that I don't have the answer to why him, why not someone else. This is where some might seek help regarding twin flames - because we are struggling to find any other explanation.

I am not avoiding anything, I am determined to confront everything, because I know that is what this is about. ValVan is at the beginning of this, and will take a while to come to terms with it. She is afraid of being overwhelmed - naturally. I am sure there must have been a time when you faced this?

I think you took her response a little too personally.

Your comment helps and makes sense!
Some people are being judgmental and think that I am the way they think I am.
I am looking for some people who have similar experiences, not someone who don't know what I'm going through and my feelings at all then say something judgmental.

[ValVan]

Originally Posted by Seenthelight

And you know what? That is okay right now.
It is all okay.

It is okay to feel feelings for this guy.
It is okay to acknowledge that for some reason you are connected.
It is okay to feel scared, of the intensity, of the unknown, of your own power in understanding it all.
It is okay to not know what you are avoiding.

None of this happens overnight - it will take time. Do it all at your own pace, in your own way. And it will all be alright in the end.

I feel I am connected to that person. But someone people just say there is no connection just because they have a few words.
Well my words can just describe some parts of my situation, no my WHOLE situation, they should judge whether there is connection or not.

[Seenthelight]

Originally Posted by ValVan

I feel I am connected to that person. But someone people just say there is no connection just because they have a few words.
Well my words can just describe some parts of my situation, no my WHOLE situation, they should judge whether there is connection or not.

I first realised I had feelings for this guy when something weird happened. He had been on holiday for 2 weeks and I had been like a bear with a sore head for that entire time - I didn't connect the two, not then. When he came back, I went to work and it was like the two of us moved closer to each other - still a foot or so away - and I felt this incredible energy within me, like I was recharging or filling up. Then the dreams started. I tried so hard to fight it, but he invaded my mind and before long I realised I had fallen for him.

We connected. But it was like a weird sort of sense of being the same person, in a way. I can't describe it. Nothing happened between us, but we were very closely connected spiritually. I still feel it now, despite not seeing him for so long.

Now I have gone through a spiritual journey whereby everything I used to believe was stripped away, and rebuilt. I used to believe everything. Then he came along and other things that occurred in my life over the last 10 years, let's just say I am definitely more discerning, believing wholly in experience rather than other people's beliefs. If that makes sense.

The one thing that has stayed, despite the deep questioning, despite my life taking on a life of its own apart from him , is that connection. I doubt it will ever go away - it hasn't even diminished.

Human Being was right though - the mental can take over the feeling, distract us. I learned to separate the two - I know the image of him in my head some times is a false one, that is when I acknowledge I am avoiding something and can instead turn my attention to that other thing I need to address - not always easy, not always wanted, and some times I procrastinate and look at it another time, preferring to be stuck in my head.

Physically, emotionally and spiritually though, the connection remains.

Originally Posted by Seenthelight

I agree that she is avoiding looking at something - she acknowledges this and says she doesn't know what it is. You then told her that she is determined she doesn't want to find out.... again passing judgement. She wants to know... but is afraid to step into it right now. Aren't we here to offer a helping hand into the unknown?

There are times I suppose when one has to judge but not in the Draco or moral superiority sense. What people believe is sacrosanct - to them and me. Yet when they question something of themselves or turn up with a crisis one has to reckon. We're rarely given enough information to be adequate but we try. At least, I try. I wouldn't have bothered to reply otherwise. The topic title prompts assessment. I'm no better at assessing than anyone else, really. I just replied on my assessment. Others have done the same.

What if she truly doesn't know? What if she is wanting to find out and reached out to people here to get her started on that journey? (because that is the gist of what I got from her first post). Telling somebody in this situation that there is no connection, that it is all in their head and she is the problem - where is the advice and support in that?

ValVan has feelings for someone she does not want to have feelings for - therefore she feels connected to this other person.

There's the crux. Feels connected and connected are different things.

I am not avoiding anything, I am determined to confront everything, because I know that is what this is about. ValVan is at the beginning of this, and will take a while to come to terms with it. She is afraid of being overwhelmed - naturally. I am sure there must have been a time when you faced this?

I think you took her response a little too personally.

Not really. I just noted he abruptness. Nothing personal to take. Perhaps there's a slight frustration that she isn't ready to admit she'll have to look into herself. I might have expanded were she interested but she isn't so I - LOL - hypothetically left the topic. (And here I am back - but really to assure, yes, I can be judgemental if I'm in a position to judge and it's asked for; and no, nothing said in response to my replies anywhere is likely to offend. That I might discuss things or dissent is no sign of taking things personally ). I've avoided telling any of my own stories here but take my word, I've had a few relationship problems to deal with across time.

I wish her well and, of course, your good self.
Peace and love.

[A human Being]

There isn't that much information to go off, though in truth I don't know if there's really ever enough information for third parties to know one way or the other whether there's a connection or not - I think the only person who can know for absolutely sure is you yourself, ValVan.

[ValVan]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

There's the crux. Feels connected and connected are different things.

I know better if we are connected or not.
If I can't decide, who can? Nobody.
No one know better than I do.