Biological basis for soul mate recognition

Has anyone else read the book, A General Theory of Love, or knows anything about the concept of limbic resonance? I read this book years ago, when it first came out (2000) and found it fascinating. I have been wanting to start a thread on it for awhile. You can google the book and the concept, but in a nutshell:

The book puts forth the theory that when we have that instant "soul mate" recognition with someone -- "love at first sight" -- what is happening is that our limbic brain is responding to their micro-facial expressions, which are mirroring the microexpressions of whatever caregiver gave us our first experience of love as a baby. This is typically mom, but it doesn't have to be; it could be dad or a sitter or other caregiver.

The tricky part? If our first experience was dysfunctional, we will find ourselves having soul mate/love at first sight experiences with likewise dysfunctional partners.... which one could extrapolate would explain "karmic" soul mate experiences. And falling in love with all the wrong people. And waking up one day, years into a relationship, wondering how you married mom or dad???

The author goes on to say that this limbic resonance is so powerful, one cannot force oneself to fall in love deliberately with a more emotionally healthy partner. It just won't happen. Even if the higher brain can logically reason that partner "A" would make a more stable, less dysfunctional partner than "B," the heart just will not follow... there simply will be no "chemistry" with A while partner B will continue to be irresistible...

The author does say, however, as one works out their own issues over time within context of a relationship, and learns better relating patterns (therapy can help), they will gradually find themselves "reprogramming" their brains and falling in love with healthier partners. But it's very, very gradual.

I throw this out for open discussion. What do you think? I think it very much matches my personal experience with soul mates in my life (past and present). However, I still think the twin flame experience is something else entirely. Certainly it involves limbic resonance, but it seems to me it involves more than that.... the pineal gland... the fifth brain that is the heart.... ?

Your thoughts and experiences?

[miss_believed]

Originally Posted by SerpentQueen

Has anyone else read the book, A General Theory of Love, or knows anything about the concept of limbic resonance? I read this book years ago, when it first came out (2000) and found it fascinating. I have been wanting to start a thread on it for awhile. You can google the book and the concept, but in a nutshell:

The book puts forth the theory that when we have that instant "soul mate" recognition with someone -- "love at first sight" -- what is happening is that our limbic brain is responding to their micro-facial expressions, which are mirroring the microexpressions of whatever caregiver gave us our first experience of love as a baby. This is typically mom, but it doesn't have to be; it could be dad or a sitter or other caregiver.

The tricky part? If our first experience was dysfunctional, we will find ourselves having soul mate/love at first sight experiences with likewise dysfunctional partners.... which one could extrapolate would explain "karmic" soul mate experiences. And falling in love with all the wrong people. And waking up one day, years into a relationship, wondering how you married mom or dad???

The author goes on to say that this limbic resonance is so powerful, one cannot force oneself to fall in love deliberately with a more emotionally healthy partner. It just won't happen. Even if the higher brain can logically reason that partner "A" would make a more stable, less dysfunctional partner than "B," the heart just will not follow... there simply will be no "chemistry" with A while partner B will continue to be irresistible...

The author does say, however, as one works out their own issues over time within context of a relationship, and learns better relating patterns (therapy can help), they will gradually find themselves "reprogramming" their brains and falling in love with healthier partners. But it's very, very gradual.

I throw this out for open discussion. What do you think? I think it very much matches my personal experience with soul mates in my life (past and present). However, I still think the twin flame experience is something else entirely. Certainly it involves limbic resonance, but it seems to me it involves more than that.... the pineal gland... the fifth brain that is the heart.... ?

Your thoughts and experiences?

never met a soulmate or stayed with one anyway so not sure, i sorta hung out just to experience a tf it seems.

Originally Posted by miss_believed

never met a soulmate or stayed with one anyway so not sure, i sorta hung out just to experience a tf it seems.

Not even a friendship soul mate? I had instant resonance with my very best friend, the one I call my soul sister -- from the first moment she and I smiled at each other, it was "platonic love" at first sight. We still cannot help but grin at each other whenever we see each other.

I am going to have to read that book.

[miss_believed]

Originally Posted by SerpentQueen

Not even a friendship soul mate? I had instant resonance with my very best friend, the one I call my soul sister -- from the first moment she and I smiled at each other, it was "platonic love" at first sight. We still cannot help but grin at each other whenever we see each other.

yeah i have a massive soul group atm, all came after i met my twin, just like you say so instant as much as walking into a shop and chatitng with an assistant for 2 hours and us becomming friends and all good, i prob had a couple of karmic pre twin, one who overlapped and caused us a lot of trouble infact in the early days.
yeah past year my whole group has changed definitely finding my soul group , a scary amount of them are having soul connections of some sort too, cursed or blessed group lol

[gypsymystique]

I think the theory sounds very likely based on psychological theories and the things I've been studying over the last few years. We tend to find people who reflect our inner males or females respectively, and we initially associate those elements with our parents.

The journey begins when we have relationships and figure out what is working or not. We then either strive to balance our inner masculine or feminine ourselves and fix our own problems or continue to project our dysfunctions or inner issues onto our partners.

The whole notion of soulmates is that we are souls here to help each other work out our journeys, so naturally some will be the mirror that shows us what we need to work on and others may be the mirror to show us how far we've come.

Originally Posted by Elena

I am going to have to read that book.

If you do, and I misremembered anything, please don't be shy -- let me know! It's been a decade so it's quite possible I have misremembered some details. My copy is buried somewhere in a box from my last move. Otherwise, I'd read it again....

[veronicax]

Well for me I have picked bad and then okay and then good and then great!! At the same time the last two who i consider super sweet, great and completely compatible the first disappeared off the face of the earth (most likely working for the government and now TF/SC the most amazing guy I have ever been involved with well married. But I do feel you have to go through some stuff to realize what you need and not what you think you like or want.

Will be reading this soon. Looks like a good read.

Though I honestly believe people lean to science in order to rationalize things that we ourselves could not explain. The rational mind will always have to keep things balanced with the spiritual heart and soul.

The excess of each being (the rational mind and the spiritual heart) makes us "floating" , and it's the other being's part to keep our feel to the ground by citing cons that would question our feelings and discoveries.

As with soul connections - how can science explain the rapid changes in your life the moment you see your soul mate / soul connection? It's really a mystery - and no matter what science explains it, it cannot explain the "chemistry" and the "chemical hormones" that are being released by the body to attain such emotions. Why is the body releasing chemical hormones that makes us feel that way? There must obviously be a deeper connection or meaning that humans may never explain.