It feels like i have lost the connection

[awakeningheart]

Interesting thread about 'needing' our tf. Do we really 'need' her/him in our lives?

I am struggling with this today. Should I 'need' him? And DO I need him? Some days I think no, I do not need him at all. Is this what I should be striving for? Is this interdependence and healing of myself?

And if it is, why do I feel so empty?

Originally Posted by Lionsheart

Hello dear friends.

this ebb and flow is natural and is the nature of energy. Energy, any and all types of energy flows in a wave and therefore it will ebb and flow, or crest and trough. Hit is't peak and then drop to an equidistance at the bottom and this will ocur until you reach a certain point of achievement, or stability.

this is the nature also of what you expreience of getting into that state of I am sooo over him or her, and then it comes back. this is the energy reacting to your movements. It is also what they tell you about the twin flame, and that is to let go of them to do their thing and then they will come back to you. 'when you pursue it will push them away, and when you back off they will draw in to you. this is the universes way of showing you how much control over this creative aspect of you life that you have.

this supports the comment that Spirit25 made about focusing on the self healing and whiel you do this you are not spending your energy in pursuit and this will draw them into you with two actions. One you are letting go and two your self focus is clearing you making the drawing of them to you stronger. while we have this I want to be with them or i 'need' to be with them, this becomes a codependant situation and that can not and does not survive in the face of the twin energy. the pairs need to be interdependent, meaning that it is ok to want to be with them but not have the need to be with them and rely on them being there. IF that makes any sense right now.

So in summary yes when you back off or your want wanes, then they will move towards you. but pursuit makes them pull away.

With all the heart ache that you have gone thru on this exprience i bet you don't know that you were actually healing a neediness in you, an insecurity of depending on someone to be there with you. You have developed that independence in your life and this is showing yoiu that you are on the right track, that is when the energy wanes on you like that.

I don't know about any body else but for me in the beginning i could not spend a day with the thought of not being with my twin but us going thru this waning zone, we are gettig to the point that we will be with them becuase we are not wanting and needy of them in our lives. we are developing interdependency for them.

I like this Lionsheart Dancing...dancing again


I did this 'back off thing'. Not just months, but years.Stop contact him, stop thinking of him, stop sending him vibe, I denied every exchange even on energetic level.I know its hard.It was killing me...First thing is focus to my own life, then it become easier to manage the energy. I've reached a state of calmness, that I finally over him,that I live my fullest life,that I am happy and OK without him. That I dont need him anymore....

Someone mentioned here, it will back with double vengeance.Well,later on I just found that he actually came back..with a BANG!! Aargghh ...

[twinkle77]

Originally Posted by Lionsheart

'the twin wil exprience approximately the same but the mirror of it. the wave of the energy of the soul streamns of both twins look like a double helix, "dancing" around each other drawing into one another and faling way from one another and this is the effect of us individually doing our healing and balancing.

generally this wil be the pattern, but there is the factor of the fluctuations of the personal emotions that wil try to fight the wave and this will cause variations in the twin 'wave'.

it is also entirely possible that the rough period or troughing, (healing and relaeseing) you took care of everything in that one short time period. that wold depend on how much stuff you wanted to clear before you agreed to deal with in this lifetime.

Thank you for that Lionsheart

Originally Posted by awakeningheart

Interesting thread about 'needing' our tf. Do we really 'need' her/him in our lives?

I am struggling with this today. Should I 'need' him? And DO I need him? Some days I think no, I do not need him at all. Is this what I should be striving for? Is this interdependence and healing of myself?

And if it is, why do I feel so empty?

I'm in the same boat. My logic tells me I don't need anyone and that its my choice who I share my life with and who I don't. That being said I know deep down inside that I'd give up everything I have and know to be with my TF if the option actually presented itself. That really scares the **** out of me that I'd be willing to give up EVERYTHING for someone I barely know that I haven't even seen in 5yrs. All because I feel this "connection"...Ugh!

and as quick as a flash it all comes flooding back. he works with my son, who came home with a present for me from him last night - we have had issues with our heating and the house is freezing. he gave my son a tea light candle and said "give that to your mum to keep her warm" - a little joke.... I of course had to text him to say thank you (open up the communication channel)... needless to say he has been on my mind since; my silly mind that reads so much into things needlessly - the significance of this being an actual candle (flame), that it was red etc, stupid brain thinking stupid things again. I don't want to be with this man, only as friends, and I invited him to meet me for coffee this afternoon but he said he was busy :( I know, I should just get on with my life but every so often when this happens the day just goes by with thoughts filled with him!! Frustrating!!

Just to add to the above discussion though - I don't 'need' him. But I struggled for so long to get him out of my life only to realise that I actually 'needed' to be in contact with him and then things started to settle down so much more after we met up after months of not seeing each other - again, initiated through my son when he sent the message home "give your mum a hug from me". Oh that man certainly knows how to grab my attention!!! GRR!

And just to add - I have gotten to the point since that just knowing he is there, in my heart and will always be, seems to be enough at present. I can't turn off my thoughts though!

Originally Posted by awakeningheart

Interesting thread about 'needing' our tf. Do we really 'need' her/him in our lives?

I am struggling with this today. Should I 'need' him? And DO I need him? Some days I think no, I do not need him at all. Is this what I should be striving for? Is this interdependence and healing of myself?

And if it is, why do I feel so empty?

any and all emotions that you are going thru are natural to healing., There are some really toxic stuff that comes to the surface and then there is eht moderately toxic stuff and then there is the little stuff but the problem is that it is brought to ths surface alot faster than it would normally come up for us and that is the effect of the twin energy that is making contact with all levels of youbeing. any and all this stuff whereever and what ever layer that you have had a tendency to store this or hold it in, has come up for addressing and healing.

It is the sheer rapidity that causes us such pain. if it were to surface much slower, then it wouldn't hurt as much and that is what a psychologist is all about. they can take years to get something out when the twin energy is getting it out in a matter of days or months rather than years.

it is also said of the energy of the univerese that is showering the globe since 2009, that this is making our karma and all manner of dark energies in our beings and emotions come to the surface faster than ever. It is specifically said that we will clear stuff in a matter of days or weeks as opposed to years. We are being accelarated on all levels and this is the chaos that we are enduring now. You are getting crash course on the nature of energy and the cosmic laws of spiritual energy and it's effects.

It is all about the energy that is coming in to the world now since 2009 and is the energy that is prepping the world and it's inhanbitatns for the coming age, it is a divine energy and it will excite this dark stuff to brew to the surface, and in some cases it is an exeplosive release in the case of someone that hs harbored anger allk their lives.

this process is happening so quickly that there wil bea feeling of nothingness or emptiness. You are supposed to feel like this. In the ancient writings of the 'spiritual partner'=twin flames, it is written that the divine will take the two and empty them of all that they have and ready them to be fillled with something new. and in this case it is the light of divinity to replace that darkness that we held onto allour lives.

You are supposeed to feel empty, it doesn't feel very good, but then think back to when you felt empty before, truly empty of all the emotional chaff and dark emotional resposnes you had before. You are not used to it. but it wil change in it's own time, divine timing.

Iknow it's hard, but we need to faith and focus right now.

Originally Posted by Kenzie

I like this Lionsheart Dancing...dancing again


I did this 'back off thing'. Not just months, but years.Stop contact him, stop thinking of him, stop sending him vibe, I denied every exchange even on energetic level.I know its hard.It was killing me...First thing is focus to my own life, then it become easier to manage the energy. I've reached a state of calmness, that I finally over him,that I live my fullest life,that I am happy and OK without him. That I dont need him anymore....

Someone mentioned here, it will back with double vengeance.Well,later on I just found that he actually came back..with a BANG!! Aargghh ...

Yes i knew one couple where i live that backed away from each other for ten years and just recently they found each other. they had to clear up their other relationships and the karma that it produced, this is the balancing effect that we all need to undertake or if we are beign lead that way already then just let the spiritual world do what they have to becaue they want to see us succeed at this....

Originally Posted by twinkle77

Thank you for that Lionsheart

it's all good friend.....

I have to agree that it is scary at times! For my own situation, I completely turned my life upside down for my TF. I moved away from where I had been born & raised, to a town I had never been to before - because he lives there. With my ex, we were going to get registered as a charity and start a no-kill cat shelter, so had many, many cats that we were housing (we lived out in the country.) Since I had to move, I had to find homes for the majority of those cats, which broke my heart...but I did it so I could move closer to my TF. I basically gave up everything that was familiar and comfortable and "safe" - to be closer to a man I've only known for just over a year, and have only been in a relationship with for about 8 months! But I did it all without doubt, or hesitation...because the connection/bond is so strong, it never occurred to me to question it.
I also have to say, however, that all of this has made me so much stronger as a person - I am independent, and feel like I am back in control of my life again (I had lost that feeling for a very long time...) Being closer to my TF has actually relaxed me even more, because I don't feel the constant ache of missing him or being away from him - he is only 1 street over from me and, while I still don't see him much more yet (I've only been here since Friday the 18th and he has been working, while I'm on vacation to unpack & get settled) I know that better days are ahead. There is definitely an ebb & flow - right now I'm enjoying the calm :)

[Quest]

Sesheta, wow, your story sounds like one I could write in a few months! I will respond to your PM too once I get a chance. Thank you so much for sharing! It is giving me soooo much hope that I'm on the right track. I have a beautiful farm to loose as well, also am trying to rehome 2 of my 3 horses right now, have to make sure our dog is looked after, but I know deep down in my heart I have to do it. This love my TF and I share is all consuming. I have never ever felt anything like it, and even though I'm scared I know I need to do it. I will not loose in the end but gain. I want to be in control of my life again too, and not just live one day to the next, doing the same old same old.
I'm so happy that you have some sense of calm back in your life after all you've gone through. You deserve it! And I admire you for having listened to your heart despite of all the fears!