How Do You Cope with a Soul Connection without Fully Letting Go?

[unikestyle16]

Hello! While I started reading multiple posts on this amazing forum late last year, I finally feel like I should write something... I've always thought that sharing stories in a setting like this can be quite therapeutic and grounding, and can also help others asking similar questions. I'm sure any of you reading this have come across the same question time and time again, so thank you for reading

I met this guy in my college my fall junior year. When I first saw him, I felt an intense pull towards him, something that I had never before experienced. I also distinctly remember thinking, “You, it’s you! Where have you been all this time?” the second our eyes met. It was all very strange and dreamy. After we sort of became friends, my pull towards him became so strong that I wanted to define where I thought our relationship should go (in a romantic direction...) Sadly, he did not feel the same way. When I left for home for the summer and fall of 2012 (I took some time off from school due to family affairs), this was when I began seeing numbers, signs, and realized so many synchronicities. During the summer, I saw 11:11 and 111s practically anywhere I looked, and I did not know what it meant! It wasn't until I finally searched online that I realized the possibility of a soul awakening. In addition, I would see his birthday everywhere.

Afterwards, I realized that this guy was more than a crush; I met him for a reason - to learn more about myself and my weak areas (forgiving people, putting myself out there, learning that just because there is strong chemistry, that doesn't mean that anything will come out of it), and to grow from my encounters with him. I believe I called for him through the law of attraction. I always knew I would meet, if not this guy, then someone like him, and, after the shock of meeting him and feeling rejected had somewhat lessened over last summer, I began to realize that this wasn't some trivial crush or encounter. My sister is extremely intuitive, to the point where she can predict things that will happen in the future, and she saw me meeting a guy just like him as well.

In any case, when I returned to campus to complete my college studies in the spring, he and I did not really have a friendship. We were both immature about it; I was too sensitive and guarded, and he wasn't being so direct himself. Despite all of that, we couldn't stop being around each other! Even when we wouldn't talk, people would create space for us or feel the need to give us privacy whenever we were around each other. My sister actually came to visit me, and, given that she is much more grounded and intuitive than I am, she saw that we both couldn't help being near one another, and whenever we were around each other, we would just start to glow and brim with happiness! I know, foolish. My mother even saw him when she came for my graduation and also had good feelings about him, which is strange, because I never introduced them... She spotted him out on her own and immediately hoped for something to happen (I never told her about him or the situation, and she's practically psychic)!

Anyway, we are basically friends now, although he never really brought up what happened the previous year (it turns out the feelings were in fact mutual, and there are residual feelings, but we both aren't spiritually or emotionally ready for anything to crop up right now). We've both graduated now, but I'm having trouble living in the present and being okay with any outcome (which includes never seeing him again). My heart tells me that whatever this is is far from over, but my head tells me that all of this was in my head. To make matters worse, my optimism is telling me to hold onto what I want to have with him (a relationship), despite the fact that, even if that were in the cards, we both are far from the mark! All of it gives me such a headache and bouts of sadness that I try to push it all away with rational thinking, only to be bombarded with so many numbers! Whenever I get very sad, I see 444s, 555s, and 88s, and whenever I’m more at peace with the situation, I see 777s. I’m also seeing 1111s, 111s, 222, 333s, 1234s, 999s, and his birthday more than ever! And I see his first and last names often as well, either when I start to distract myself with hobbies, or when I tell myself that this is no soul connection. In fact, when I push him out of my mind and try to push him out of my heart, I’m practically attacked with all of these signs! As freaked out as I am in those moments, I just have to laugh, what else can I do?

My sister tells me not to worry, that she knows that she’ll meet him again through me, and that we both simply have lessons to learn before we can meet again to see if it’ll work out when we’re both more mature. This feels right to me as well, but I don’t know why I can’t just accept things as they are. The separation actually hurts, even more than last summer!

I guess I’m wondering why all of this is happening… I do think that I’m having a spiritual awakening, as I am having many of the symptoms of one, yet it’s just so hard – how does one cope? Take it day by day? And is this a soulmate connection? I don’t think it’s a twin flame connection (even though we have the same sun (Libra) and moon (Aries) signs, and our compatibility is off the charts; is this more of a soulmate connection? I know that these feelings alone show me that I still have to work on myself, and that I shouldn’t place so much importance in romantic relationships, and that I also need to learn patience (which is difficult because impatience should be my middle name! ), but how do you push through? The highs I feel when I feel him thinking of me and the lows I feel when we’re even more out of sync are so draining, I feel like I’m at my wits’ end! And thank you to whoever had the time to read this… I appreciate it more than words can express!

Your sister is steering you in the right direction but you will have to fully let go, in time.

If you can review your relationship (the sum of it) and the interactions between you two to find where and how exactly you became attached, when you gave permission for the connection, then focus on that and revoke permission.

To connect to someone deeply we have to give permission and to break it we have to declare it out loud that we are taking it back.

The Universe seeks balance and for us to have balance. If the current relationship (in your heart) does not mirror this then imbalance will occur.

Holding on is normal, letting go is hard, but you also need something else to move forward too. If he is in your heart then you simply cannot empty it but first fill it up with something else.

Imagine it is like driving standard, you have to let go of the clutch before you can press the gas, but doing both at the same time, letting go of one while pushing down the other. If not the car stalls. It cannot move forward.

[umbridge]

wow, cellar door gave wonderful advice !! Thanks a lot.

I once met a man I developed a crush on who was very spiritual, and he told me he was a catalyst on my path. As I look back, I know he was right. I was not going the right direction on the path, and now I am on the path I am meant to be on. It is quite possible this is the situation. That he serves as a catalyst to get on the right path. I do not know what path he is on, but he does have you looking toward signs and symbols and various Spirit communication. I agree it is important to detach, cause it could get painful if you do not.

The other thing is we as women have an animus or a male counterpart of sorts in the subsconsious. So when we encounter a male who is 'like; that anumus, and has his characteristics, we are very drawn to that person. So I would meditate and examine the subconsious self, and get in touch with this part of you. You could also look to maybe a chart reading to see where mars is in your chart, which could explain a bit where the animus lurks in your psyche.

[unikestyle16]

Thank you all so much for your advice! I'm definitely on the road to detaching, and I'm letting life's possibilities and my angels guide me. I definitely know that one of the lessons I need to learn is that I cannot hold onto something with the expectation that I will get it in the way that I want. I've realized that, in the past, when I learned this, I ended up getting what I wanted, just not in the way that I expected; turns out it was much better than I had expected, and I was all the more grateful (and wiser), given divine timing. My north node is actually in Aquarius, and two huge lessons are: 1) You will get what you want, just not in the way you expected, and 2) be careful what you wish for, as you just might get it!

Not to say that I will surely get what I want (or even want it by the time I get it!), but I do need to learn how to let go without getting bitter or melodramatic about the loss. I can do it in other areas of my life, but relationships are the hardest for me. I'm really trying though.

Originally Posted by unikestyle16

Hello! While I started reading multiple posts on this amazing forum late last year, I finally feel like I should write something... I've always thought that sharing stories in a setting like this can be quite therapeutic and grounding, and can also help others asking similar questions. I'm sure any of you reading this have come across the same question time and time again, so thank you for reading

I met this guy in my college my fall junior year. When I first saw him, I felt an intense pull towards him, something that I had never before experienced. I also distinctly remember thinking, “You, it’s you! Where have you been all this time?” the second our eyes met. It was all very strange and dreamy. After we sort of became friends, my pull towards him became so strong that I wanted to define where I thought our relationship should go (in a romantic direction...) Sadly, he did not feel the same way. When I left for home for the summer and fall of 2012 (I took some time off from school due to family affairs), this was when I began seeing numbers, signs, and realized so many synchronicities. During the summer, I saw 11:11 and 111s practically anywhere I looked, and I did not know what it meant! It wasn't until I finally searched online that I realized the possibility of a soul awakening. In addition, I would see his birthday everywhere.

Afterwards, I realized that this guy was more than a crush; I met him for a reason - to learn more about myself and my weak areas (forgiving people, putting myself out there, learning that just because there is strong chemistry, that doesn't mean that anything will come out of it), and to grow from my encounters with him. I believe I called for him through the law of attraction. I always knew I would meet, if not this guy, then someone like him, and, after the shock of meeting him and feeling rejected had somewhat lessened over last summer, I began to realize that this wasn't some trivial crush or encounter. My sister is extremely intuitive, to the point where she can predict things that will happen in the future, and she saw me meeting a guy just like him as well.

In any case, when I returned to campus to complete my college studies in the spring, he and I did not really have a friendship. We were both immature about it; I was too sensitive and guarded, and he wasn't being so direct himself. Despite all of that, we couldn't stop being around each other! Even when we wouldn't talk, people would create space for us or feel the need to give us privacy whenever we were around each other. My sister actually came to visit me, and, given that she is much more grounded and intuitive than I am, she saw that we both couldn't help being near one another, and whenever we were around each other, we would just start to glow and brim with happiness! I know, foolish. My mother even saw him when she came for my graduation and also had good feelings about him, which is strange, because I never introduced them... She spotted him out on her own and immediately hoped for something to happen (I never told her about him or the situation, and she's practically psychic)!

Anyway, we are basically friends now, although he never really brought up what happened the previous year (it turns out the feelings were in fact mutual, and there are residual feelings, but we both aren't spiritually or emotionally ready for anything to crop up right now). We've both graduated now, but I'm having trouble living in the present and being okay with any outcome (which includes never seeing him again). My heart tells me that whatever this is is far from over, but my head tells me that all of this was in my head. To make matters worse, my optimism is telling me to hold onto what I want to have with him (a relationship), despite the fact that, even if that were in the cards, we both are far from the mark! All of it gives me such a headache and bouts of sadness that I try to push it all away with rational thinking, only to be bombarded with so many numbers! Whenever I get very sad, I see 444s, 555s, and 88s, and whenever I’m more at peace with the situation, I see 777s. I’m also seeing 1111s, 111s, 222, 333s, 1234s, 999s, and his birthday more than ever! And I see his first and last names often as well, either when I start to distract myself with hobbies, or when I tell myself that this is no soul connection. In fact, when I push him out of my mind and try to push him out of my heart, I’m practically attacked with all of these signs! As freaked out as I am in those moments, I just have to laugh, what else can I do?

My sister tells me not to worry, that she knows that she’ll meet him again through me, and that we both simply have lessons to learn before we can meet again to see if it’ll work out when we’re both more mature. This feels right to me as well, but I don’t know why I can’t just accept things as they are. The separation actually hurts, even more than last summer!

I guess I’m wondering why all of this is happening… I do think that I’m having a spiritual awakening, as I am having many of the symptoms of one, yet it’s just so hard – how does one cope? Take it day by day? And is this a soulmate connection? I don’t think it’s a twin flame connection (even though we have the same sun (Libra) and moon (Aries) signs, and our compatibility is off the charts; is this more of a soulmate connection? I know that these feelings alone show me that I still have to work on myself, and that I shouldn’t place so much importance in romantic relationships, and that I also need to learn patience (which is difficult because impatience should be my middle name! ), but how do you push through? The highs I feel when I feel him thinking of me and the lows I feel when we’re even more out of sync are so draining, I feel like I’m at my wits’ end! And thank you to whoever had the time to read this… I appreciate it more than words can express!

Wow, this is so similar to my own experience 2 years ago. I'm also currently in university, and in my first month of classes, I walked in 5 minutes late and the only seat available was next to this guy. We immediately looked at each other and I had this overwhelming feeling of familiarity. It's like we clicked before even saying a word, and we had an instant bond -- like we knew each other forever.

I'm only 21 (18 a the time) and I'm not boy-crazy or prone to "crushing" on guys. I need a very deep spiritual connection, and he was the first person (and only, so far) I fell head over heels for. Similarly to you, it didn't end how we hoped (would explain but it would take forever -- so many layers), and we were left in this weird space and we didn't know where to go from there.

We're in the same program, and he's ALWAYS in my classes. He even lives near me, and we bump into each other all the time. We are still friendly, but don't sit next to each other in class/hang outside (more like friendly acquaintences), it's more detached.

It angered me so much, because I'm very upfront with my feelings, and I hated how he would act like everything is okay and treat us like superficial friends. It was almost like if a woman's husband came in one day and treated her like an acquaintance. You just want to say, "why are you being so weird? hello! it's me! we know us!" (hope that made sense, haha).

Anyway, this was as short as I could make it, but a lot of other factors were included, many similar to yours, I'm sure. I'm still young, but I can easily say this experience was one of the most destabilizing and heartbreaking things I had to go through. I didn't think I would ever be over it. Looking back, there were so many karmic/past life indicators with our relationship, so I don't doubt we have met before. Plus, our relationship was the catalyst to both of our spiritual awakenings. I actually had a kundalini awakening experience with him there (it was scary because I didn't know what it was at the time!).

All I can say as someone who knows your feelings is the ONLY thing that has healed me is time. And it could be a while. It's taken me 2 years to feel comfortable with all of this. I still feel a tinge/pain in my heart when I see him in person, but that feeling will pass eventually as well. You might feel like you can't get over him, but eventually you will. Time is the only thing that will truly heal it. After my experience I really withdrew into myself and spent the time exploring and understanding myself and spirituality more. Meditating really helped me. I hope you found any of this helpful! Sorry for the length but I really related to your situation. :)

Wow, this is so similar to my own experience 2 years ago. I'm also currently in university, and in my first month of classes, I walked in 5 minutes late and the only seat available was next to this guy. We immediately looked at each other and I had this overwhelming feeling of familiarity. It's like we clicked before even saying a word, and we had an instant bond -- like we knew each other forever.

I'm only 21 (18 a the time) and I'm not boy-crazy or prone to "crushing" on guys. I need a very deep spiritual connection, and he was the first person (and only, so far) I fell head over heels for. Similarly to you, it didn't end how we hoped (would explain but it would take forever -- so many layers), and we were left in this weird space and we didn't know where to go from there.

We're in the same program, and he's ALWAYS in my classes. He even lives near me, and we bump into each other all the time. We are still friendly, but don't sit next to each other in class/hang outside (more like friendly acquaintences), it's more detached.

It angered me so much, because I'm very upfront with my feelings, and I hated how he would act like everything is okay and treat us like superficial friends. It was almost like if a woman's husband came in one day and treated her like an acquaintance. You just want to say, "why are you being so weird? hello! it's me! we know us!" (hope that made sense, haha).

Anyway, this was as short as I could make it, but a lot of other factors were included, many similar to yours, I'm sure. I'm still young, but I can easily say this experience was one of the most destabilizing and heartbreaking things I had to go through. I didn't think I would ever be over it. Looking back, there were so many karmic/past life indicators with our relationship, so I don't doubt we have met before. Plus, our relationship was the catalyst to both of our spiritual awakenings. I actually had a kundalini awakening experience with him there (it was scary because I didn't know what it was at the time!).

All I can say as someone who knows your feelings is the ONLY thing that has healed me is time. And it could be a while. It's taken me 2 years to feel comfortable with all of this. I still feel a tinge/pain in my heart when I see him in person, but that feeling will pass eventually as well. You might feel like you can't get over him, but eventually you will. Time is the only thing that will truly heal it. After my experience I really withdrew into myself and spent the time exploring and understanding myself and spirituality more. Meditating really helped me. I hope you found any of this helpful! Sorry for the length but I really related to your situation. :)

EDIT: one more thing, I definitely had some synchronicity indicators as well.

[unikestyle16]

Hello Afarin! Thanks so much for your heartfelt response

Since writing this, I have gained greater insight and have felt more at peace with the current situation. I have a lot of grad school work coming up, so all of that definitely distracts me. I also know that he too is hurting from this separation (as of now, it seems that this stuff goes through cycles - last summer, we both felt the hurt a whole lot more than we do now), but I know that this is happening for a reason. My gut still tells me that we will meet again in the future... what lies in store for us, I have no idea, but I'm happy that I am much more open to whatever possibilities lie ahead. I'm learning how NOT to contain this connection and make it what I always thought it should be, so I hope to hold onto this clarity for as long as I can!

I'm not sure if you're into astrology, but my north node is in Aquarius and my midheaven is in Pisces; both placements are really helping me detach and fondly look back on the little moments that we had, and to be open to whatever comes in the future, even if that means not seeing him again (if my gut feeling is wrong, that is). That said, I know that I am asking for all of this to happen, if that makes any sense. I make wishes and little hopes for the future whenever I see 11:11 or 111s (so i make these quite often, haha!), and before I returned to campus, I asked if we could at least just be friends. It wasn't until this week that I realized that I got what I wanted, just not in the way I expected (a very Aquarian north node lesson)! Turns out he WAS trying to be my friend (if not something more) when I returned, but because he wasn't pursuing the connection in the way that I wanted him to, I saw that as him not really trying at all. I let my ego get in the way for too long! Of course, he wasn't perfect, but it didn't mean that he didn't try at all. I could have started to feel worse given this realization, but learning this actually made me see the bigger picture with clearer vision: I am getting what I want, but just not in the way that I expect to. But aren't such surprises what make life worth living?

For me, personally, this connection is making me a lot more understanding and forgiving, both of others when they do me wrong, of of myself when I unknowingly hurt others. I'm not carrying a huge chip on my shoulder like I was before, mainly because I'm learning that nothing and no one is perfect, so NO situation can ever be perfect, and no one's story is the same! But this is where the beauty in it lies; you fall, you get hurt, but you dust yourself off and try again. It's all a learning process, and God, the angels, and the Universe is trying to help all of us on our very unique journeys. I find a lot of hope and courage in that thought.

[unikestyle16]

And to further this point, I was feeling really low last week about all of the "missed" opportunity when i started to find white feathers sticking to me! I tried to shake one off and it simply wouldn't! I took as a sign from the angels reassuring me that everything would work out for the best. Also, this week, I saw this guy's birthday number four times on the road to my grad school! I don't see this on license plates too often, so to see it four times definitely lifted my spirits! Signs like that let me know that I'm on his mind too, and reassure me that this stuff isn't just in my head!

It's really nice to know that your soul connection can feel the connection too!

I hope you all have an amazing weekend!

Thanks for the post! I'm going through the same situation. I've also felt I "missed out" on a wonderful opportunity to be a kind and caring man, but my shyness and my doubts about a future together prevented me from even allowing a relationship to begin in the first place. Many people have told me I think to much!

I can't stop thinking about this man! However, I know that he has moved onto someone else. I was devastated to hear this, yet happy at the same time to know that he has found happiness with someone else - giving me the opportunity to move on. Yet, for reasons unknown I can't seem to do so. I have this lingering feeling of unfinished business with him. Yet our circumstances - living in different countries, different time zones, and having completely different lives will never allow for us to be together. Not to mention, he has been dating someone else for some time now.

I've been missing him for 16 months now, and I don't know how much longer I can endure this! I keep holding on, not because I don't have any offers from other men, but so many things remind me of him! I try to push him out of my thoughts and my mind, yet it's useless! The thought of him just keeps coming back.

There are days when I just wish I had never met him! I guess the time we shared together was meant to teach me a lesson. For the time being, the pain of not having him in my life has made it difficult for me to truly see what that lesson was. Only time will tell...

I wish you all the best with your situation. Just remember that you are not alone :)